Show I r. r Ii 1 I A t c A S 0 1 OTHERS TO BE SENT FOR Shortly after two o'clock one bitter winter morning a physician drove four miles mUes In answer to a n telephone call catl On his arrival the tho man who had summoned summoned summoned sum sum- him said Doctor I aint In any particular K pain but somehow or other Ive I've got a feeling that death Is nigh The Tho doctor felt the tho mans man's pulse and listened to Iris Ills heart Have nave you made your milT will he asked finally The man turned pale Why no At my age age oh oh doc doe It aint true Is It 1 It cant can't be bo true true true- your our lawyer Higginbotham but but but- Then you'd better send for him at aton on once once co The patient white and trembling went to tho the telephone your pastor continued the doctor Rev Kellogg M. M Brown Drown mumbled the patient But Dut doctor do o you think think- Send for him Immediately Your father too should be lie summoned also your your your- Say doctor do your you oUI really think Im I'm going to die The man began to blubber softly The doctor looked at him hard No I dont don't dont he replied Theres nothing at all the matter with you yon But I hate to be the only man youve you've made a fool Of on a n bitter cold bitter cold morning like Ike this A GIRLS GIRL'S WAY t l' l Horace I I like Uke to take a a. a girl to ton a n game of football Harold Harold- Why She Horace Horace She doesn't know a thing about the game but she always jumps up pp and don do an and squeals How Its It's Done Mrs lira Post Post But But how do you avoid making visits that you dont don't want to pay Mrs Mm Parker ParKer Well Well I I always send word that Im I'm coming I Mrs Post Yes Post Yes Mrs Parker Parker And And then they always write back that they wont won't be at home Judge How About This John Yeast Yeast This This paper says that John Bull Dun figures out that his country has been successful in 82 per cent of or the battles in which it has been Inter Inter- ested Crimson I beak I I guess that word battles is a misprint It should read bottles Yonkers Yonkers Statesman Poor POOl Consolation Doctor said the lady patient I suffer a great deal with my eyes Everybody does madam replied the fussy old M. M D D. but you Would probably suffer a great deal more without without with with- out em em Chicago Chicago Dally Daily News PRETTY NEAR l HI h i i t If II I r I Ii i Horace Horace Did Did the college authorities reinstate young Smith after aCter he was expelled Helen Helen A Almost Horace Horace Almost Almost Helen Yes Helen Yes I heard beard his folks folka say saT he be was halfback C Couldn't Doubt His Word Mr Ir Benny Benny how do you know that the moon Is 15 OOOO miles distant from the earth T Benny Denny alarmed at the teachers teacher's manner manner Y You Y-Y-You You said aid so o yourself sir Royal sir Royal Magazine The Obliging Man Young Wife Wife John John mother r says NYS she a wants wanta to be cremated Young Husband Tell husband Tell h her bar r If It shell thell get on her ber things Ill I'll take her there this morning The Latest Ive Just taken omeN offices I In n a 3 New NewYork NewYork NewYork York sky sk What stratum Judge Judge An Abbreviated Parting Well Aunt Rachel said the tho young lady JadY In the tho traveling dress I shall have bave to bid you a n long farewell If you are arc going by this train signaling to maam ma'am said tho the guard tho the driver to go ahead havo have to tomake tomake tomake make It pretty short Royal Royal Magazine Maga Maga- zine I. I HIS O ONLY PAIR ii l Brown I Drown I sent my trousers over to the tho tailors tailor's yesterday to be repaired re re- paired Little I Binks-I I wondered wb why 1 I didn't see you Rapid Transit Stranger Stranger Look Look here Sambo I hl hired your mule mulo to get to the village In hours He wont won't move Sambo Twist Samba Twist his bis tall tail boss an an yon will get dah dab in two minutes Stranger Stranger But But he Is headed In th the wrong direction I t wan waa to go the way way his heels are Sambo Sambo-Oh Sambo Oh dats dat's the tIle way yo ye will go boss If yo ye twist his tail Chicago Chicago Dally Daily News Have You Noticed It Bacon I Bacon I see it said that the light of the worm glow and andi firefly Is entirely entire entire- entirely ly unaccompanied by heat Egbert That Egbert-That That seems strange when you consider that a wasp is accompanied accompanied by no light and yet when when It sits down you may have had occasion to notice that the operation Is accompanied panted by considerable heat heat heat- Yonkers Statesman SURE SIG SIGN N. N Mr Young Young They They say that a. a man maa should not Dot be bo Judged by the tho clothes ho wears Mrs Young Young Quito Quito correct Ho lIo should be judged by tho clothes his hiss wife wears Mine Workers Worker Bill The Bill The old Caylloma silver mines In Peru are situated higher than tiny any other in the world It is believed that they were first worked by the tho Incas Jill The Jill The Incas then must have understood understood understood un un- un- un the tho advantages of advertis ing ing Yonkers Yonkers Statesman I Progressive Women Woman Singleton Your Singleton Your wife seems to bean bean be bean an up-to-date up woman Huh Huh She's Sho's away ahead of tho the date Why she has a lot Jot of trouble borrowed for next year Chi Chicago cago Dally Dany News Silly Fellows Rifleman after repeated misses misses- Hang JIang it If It those fellows haven't gone and stuck aluck up tho target In tho the wrong place again Royal Royal Magazine THEY WERE BOTH SURPRISED r lr L z I Clergyman am surprIsed to I see you here Smith C ConvIct No o. o So was waa I or Id I'd never a bin ore ere |