OCR Text |
Show HOW TO AVOID MATRIMONY Kind-Hearted Soul Offers Some Valuable Valu-able Advice on the Matter, Without Charge. To avoid getting married is a very esy matter, either for a man or a woman. If you are a man, frequent the dance, especially the coming-out dance. Stick to the debutante as men of liberal views stick to their opinions. Hang around conservatories when the music is playing soft and low, and where there are intoxicating odors. Hang around summer resorts and attend musical recitals. There are other things to do, but this should be enough. For a woman to avoid matrimony is quite as easy. She should live in a college town, or Washington, D. C. She should cultivate those young men who wear yachting suits all summer and who know what to do with their hats on a piazza; who are good at buckling on skates, who ask if you bave heard this and that, who would just as soon act as ushers at a wedding wed-ding as not, who are perfectly willing to explain the game of baseball, who are willing to introduce other fellows. fel-lows. ' That's all you have to do to avoid matrimony. But, In order to cinch the matter it may be well to add a few more words of advice. Ladies! If a man comes along who will not talk baseball with you; who does not know anybody and does not want to; who does not even play bridge; who cannot even tell you who are the richest girls at the summer resort and Just how rich they are; who never was an usher at a wedding and never will be pass him the Ice pitcher! And do It quick! Then go and hide! Men! When you see a girl who hasn't got a crowd around her; who wears no scalps upon her belt; who subscribes to the Ime Lady; who knows how to set table for five In a cottage that cost $1,200; who can give an appropriate Halloween party. Beat It, my son! Beat it! Puck. |