Show -- - It 1 i Her crippling fear of success held tragic consequences Mary Pickford became a recluse in her fabled estate Pickfair She asked me to visit her shortly before her death Tears rolled down her face We held hands while we talked She had been called the world's most celebrated and beautiful woman But celebrity dims beauty fades applause ceases I perceived that Mary's prison was inhabited by ghosts sadness and unfulfilled dreams Her fear kept her from enjoying success from sharing it openly with others and from being creative about it It is necessary for us to "name" our fears to come to understand them and to enter fearlessly inside them in order to win freedom from them We have to make up our minds to deal with them in a decisive and forthright way realizing that time is on our side if we do We can you and I overcome fears This is how I overcame three of my greatest fears Fear of the dark When I was 5 years old my parents went away for a day They had asked a neighbor to stay with me The woman was seldom around children and must have had a strong need to exert authority I did something—I can't remember what—that upset her She struck me on the side of my head and announced that she was going to lock me in the dark closet next to the kitchen It held canned goods and utensils and—she said—a huge white rat that would eat me Then she forced me into the closet and locked the door Inside it I screamed was cavernous and pitch-blac- k in terror waiting for the rat to attack me My sense of complete helplessness in !hal closet would return again and again in tnightmares for years I pleaded through the locked door for release beat my tiny fists on its hard wood until they bled to no avail After that well into adulthood I was always terrified of the dark In middle age I felt a strong desire to overcome this troubling fear Friends were planning to travel Would I care to house-sit- ? I said yes Their large isolated home sat amid tall brooding trees After I moved in having decided to free myself of this fear I was determined to take the next steps—to face it and to leave it behind I did not turn on the lights when darkness fell I started to walk slowly through the rooms feeling my way by touching a wall or pieces of fur- niture I climbed up into the shadowy k attic walked down into the musty basement At first I was scarcely able to breathe But gradually I became accustomed to the dark and comfortable in iit Happily I still am When I confronted headlong those terrors familiar in Imy imagination—bogeymen leaping out from shadows—my fear was gone Now in the darkness I find a strange kind of beauty with warmth and support Fear of dogs One day when I was a boy an angry unleashed dog attacked and bit me I can still see its face—its teeth bared—an image of fury After that coal-blac- ' ' j PARADE MAGAZINE JULY 3 1988 PAGE 11 I was acutely afraid of dogs During high school! sold magazines If a dog approached me or even barked inside a house it was torture My fear stayed with me over the years As a graduate student in my early 30s I went on a tour of Europe One day with friends I visited a remote island off the coast of Turkey Separated from my companions I was alone on a tip of the island when I became aware suddenly of a pack of wild dogs standing on a hillside above me The dozen animals closely observing my alien presence seemed frozen in place ready to charge down the hill and tear me to pieces I had no defense Instinctively I knew that I must betray no emotion show no fear I had chosen to respond to my fear of the dark but this decision held no option It was a crisis I controlled my thoughts my breathing I painstakingly shifted my attention from the dogs to the clouds in the sky I walked slowly—very slowly—away from the dogs Concentrating on lightness and easiness I did not merely act nonchalant I became so The dogs did not follow me Apparently I had become a part of the landscape for them Since then I have owned and loved several dogs and am relaxed and easy with all kinds of dogs in diverse situations Fear of growing old I remember when 30 seemed old but my 30th birthday came and went inexorably if not too easily without undue trauma My 40th slipped by with deceptive ease It was my 50th birthday that nearly did me in This was the time!I realized I was afraid of growing older Of growing old To slow the process I applied black dye to my graying hair But looking in a mirror I saw something of a stranger laughed and decided to get back to my own graying hair as quickly as I could I suddenly realized I liked it that way I made a decision: I'm glad to be me I wouldn't think of reliving the past Now I am 65 and I believe this is the best time for me I perceive aging as a new horizon to be explored Meanwhile I possess today I want to make the most of it in every way Some fears are harder to overcome than others But I hope you agree that many of our fears are relics from bad childhood experiences standing in the way of our ability to live freely and happily and just waiting to be discarded We take the sting out of fear when we look at its limitations and refuse to be its victims When we overcome fear our is increased We open ourselves to growth become bearers of new possibilities Banishing old fears we let the sunshine in door-to-do- But the exciting news is this formula brings the most generous moisturizing ingredients into perfect balance with the lightest lipids so it can double your skini moisture for eight hour4 yet feel as light as fresh air In fact Neutrogena Night Cream is so effective and so free of clogging film your skin isn't just softer and smoother in the morning it actually looks healthier So just when you think it's time for a The surprising truth is heavy creams don't always moisturize well enough to help dry skin recuperate overnight And dermatologists say these very creams can smother your face in a clogging or irritating film and even cause blemishes After a drying day what your skin really needs is a breath of fresh air And a long drink of moisture From a cream so light it's (won't clog pores) And so safe it won't disturb dry sensitive skin Which is precisely heavier cream look for Neutrogena why Neutrogena Night Cream is carefully balanced to be everything Night Cream in the Neutrogena section of your drug store It's the light night cream that keeps up so well with the increasing demands of time you'll never be old enough for the heavy ones dermatologists recommend for safety: and fragrance-fre- e ic '' ' 1 110 L kw ta 01 tao Ca- ma" al - a 4 th r a 44719 a–0 ay 1! kW' lne lib 001111 rn lik in 461-1- AN ilm 16 4 - - owe Arnawrsuoa11 OIMILMILAM di on 0116 " --- -- -- IWP row to Ia of qui IIII r IL 10! fft grataa II - - ' 4 - ' ' s : - - I self-estee- m Malcolm Boyd has written more than 20 books including "Are You Running With Me Jesus?" and "The Underground Church" 41111401k111 4aros 1 I I - |