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Show Butter and eggs are high again, but omethlng always la. The right place to censor poBtcards Is In the manufactories. Winter is acting as If It had found the right place to settle down. It Is suspected that somebody at Medicine Hat has left the door open. Military experts have devised a gun lor killing aviators. But what's the use? This Is the time for the cold weather weath-er prophets to shout that they told us so. California's first woman Jury acquitted ac-quitted an editor. He must be a good-looking good-looking feller. Another aeronaut threatens to fly across the Atlantic. He Is said to be a good swimmer. " Sometimes a man goes through lire as a dictator and sometimes he marries mar-ries his stenographer. r - ' A York, Pa., man ate a live mouse, there being no accounting for tastes, as we have said before. It must be a great experience to be engaged to a girl who can say "1 love you" in 54 languages. Dr. Wiley says that American cooking cook-ing Is the worst in the world. Bating must be an awful chore to Dr. Wiley. Once more tailors and coal dealers are taking some interest In life. Also trade In thermometers is brisk again. A Chicago man who has been hairless hair-less for 50 years now has a full beard, easy as a pork millionaire acquiring culture. Sea captain In love with a Maryland Mary-land maid eloped by mistake with her twin sister. However, it's all In the family. A college professor advises all men to wear whiskers. Evidently he has been cut up by a barber and wants to get even. We see by the papers that an Indiana In-diana girl was hurt playing football. Evidently Bhe was training to be a suffragette. A Philadelphia clergyman says that no business man can be honest. All isn't gospel that Is dealt out from some pulpits. A New Hampshire manufacturer of seventy-seven has married a girl bookkeeper, book-keeper, so his estate will be straightened straight-ened up properly. If the boxing game continues to lose its popularity it will soon be necessary for our boxers to join their brethren In China. The man who rocks the boat, having hav-ing had a chance to rest up a bit. Is now engaged in dragging the gun through the bushes. An Andover professor complains hecause Harvard men sit up when they pray, but how he would complain If they sat up to play cards! A college professor announces that the earth will cease revolving in Now then some game sport ought to bet him a million that it won't! r Chicago proposes to give all Its streets names easy to pronounce. But that won't make any difference with the conductors who call them off. , The Chinese emperor la only a little lit-tle feller, but, Judging from the way he writes, he will some day make a fortune out of the six best seller business. busi-ness. Connecticut grave digger, eighty-five eighty-five years old, celebrated his birthday birth-day by digging his own grave. Some people have queer ideas of amusement. The Chinese emperor keeps his thoughts to himself, but we have a hunch that he Is sighing for an aeroplane, aero-plane, or some other means of rapid locomotion. The young fellow in Massachusetts who has reached the age of 21 without with-out having kissed a girl may be a virtuous youth, but It strikes us that his early education has been neglected. neg-lected. The earth, we are told, will be habitable for the next 10,000,000 years. This announcement will cause a feeling of relief among those who have been thinking of leasing apart ments on Mars. |