Show it to the attention of the others I 1 returned to the cabin again and packed up tip all my belongings in in three bags so that it if ye we had to leave the ship or the baggage had to be removed the next day I 1 might not lave have to to the cabbin for that purpose going on deck again I 1 met mr air ismay with the ships officers mr Is imay liay was smiling serenely and not in he slightest degree perturbed presently however I 1 noticed people with ife preservers adjusted which was vas said to be ba a mere provision of at safety by the captain on deck at this time I 1 observed the three ladles ladies had undertaken to look after at the outset ot of the voyage iwer supposing that hat I 1 would be called upon to do any thing hing as serious as this they had just returned front from paris by way of 0 south hampton having been with their sister lady drummond at the time of her death and funeral sirs mrs E D appleton mrs irs cornell and sirs mrs J J drawn brown the latter from froin boston and the others from new york they vere mere accompanied by a young lady miss evans in years gone by this young lady had been warned by some fortune teller to beware 0 of water this was vas tile the tale she told me now looking out in the direction toward which the bow nas as pointing we seemed to eee ee a light and concluded e ti it as ii stern f sf lili coming to our ou re rest acu eue e summoned by the wireless colonel astor had also come out on deck and saw sav the light referred to we can only suppose that this light was on a passing sailing ship which never came to our rescue now foll followed owea the firing ot of sky rock ets and the assembling of the passengers together to be loaded on tile the boats on the boat deck moving toward the bow of the boat the men were stopped from fi am accompanying 0 the ladies about this time I 1 went into the smoking loom and as usual I 1 saw there seated around the table four good friends major archibald butt military aid to taft and president roosevelt mr francis D millet clarence alerre ocre of wahington W and mr ryer sn sj of they appeared oli Oh livious ot 01 deriger and were the only cues 1 saw in the room it was at th this s time that I 1 also heard the band play with the evident purpose 0 of instilling courage and stopping confusion with mr clinch smith I 1 now took my station in the bow ot of the boat on the port part side and helped in loading the boats at this side with the helpless women and children I 1 assisted a mother and babe to safety I 1 also helped mrs astor over the rail into the boat and heard beard her husband request of the second officer that he be allowed to aceita accompany pany her tor for protection no 0 sir said the officer no mat man must go on this boat colonel astor bravely held his peace and gracefully ac accepted cepter the pain painful fill situation asking only for the be boats a ts number in order that he might it find I 1 lad his wife later and now so BO palpable was asas the list to 10 starboard that the second officer ordered all passengers to the port side but not before one had called tor for all th tb women on that side with mr air smith I 1 now made my way to the starboard side of the bow and to my surprise found among other ladies there mrs bron brov n and miss evans why have lave you not gone with your sisters I 1 asked but before her explanation was forthcoming I 1 found that there was TOOM room for more women in the last boat going down on tile the port side of the bow I 1 rushed them back bach and the two ladies by in an arm hurried them to a point where I 1 was stopped by the crew from proceeding farther the ladies alone being allowed to pass had I 1 been able to accompany them I 1 would have assisted in lifting them over tile tho rail little I 1 miss livans evans had made up tip her mind that she had to die because of the soothsayers 1 say ors warning and refused to leave the abe ship I 1 went back to the starboard side of oc the ship again and here I 1 saw in close conversation mr john G B thayer vice president of the pennsylvania railroad and mr george 0 Wi denerI of philadelphia I 1 never saw them again now I 1 helped the crew in adjust iii the davits for lowering a boat which had been slid don from the bridge deck but I 1 had to make way for the crew and here I 1 heard two of them discussing conditions and one said we could not sink because of 0 the compartments apartments part ments ts which must keep us afloat in five nil minutes the water from tile the deck below reached the boat deck on which we stood and the sailors seemed not to have time to launch the boat so mr air smith and I 1 decided to hurry toward the stern but we had only gone a few paces when to our amazement we say men and yarnell women in a solid mass come up from the decks below steerage or second class 1 div r I 1 aps facing i toward us its J ven afo a ther atas 4 appall death was evident in the near future j at this point I 1 may be permitted to make a statement that from my personal viewpoint at the bow ot of the ship as well as elsewhere I 1 saw sav nothing but unexampled self sacrifice and self control and the greatest courage under the most har harrowing roNIng circumstances now it seemed our end had come for vie me could not meet this mass in ill front of us mr air smith and I 1 tried eo 10 jump to the bridge deck but found it impossible the waves at our heels now reached us and just as the water was above my knees I 1 jumped with the rising swell as I 1 so often had done at tile the seashore rose with the crest and grasped the railings failings rai lings about the bridge deck but alas poor smith was separated from me and I 1 never saw him again holding on as long as I 1 could to the railing I 1 tas at last compelled to et go and was hurled around and around on my stomach on the deck chere here the tunnels funnels were then down domn I 1 went into the waters below drawn beneath by the r suction tic tion up to this time there certainly was no explosion or else I 1 would have heard beard it and when the explosion occurred I 1 must have been under the water nater and it was through this cause tile the explosion that I 1 was driven to the surface again when I 1 got at to tile the sin surface face I 1 struck out with all my night might and struggled to keep my breath and not at allow myself to be suffocated by the water jiow flow great was the depth to which I 1 went I 1 cannot say had it been a greater extent than twenty five feet undoubtedly the blood would have bave rushed from my nose and ears sly my chief concern was to escape from being boiled as I 1 at this time expected 41 i e water to boll boil from the engines bev T reached the surface sul ace finally ng t to a be seen about me I 1 0 f wreckage of ev ery sort and description I 1 learned later a that one or of the funnels had fallen from the ship before I 1 reached the surface and splashed its waves over young mr thayer and the second oin who thought that the tunnel funnel would fall upon him my first efforts were devoted to getting towards a mass of oc wreckage consisting principally of a crate shaped mass of wood but when I 1 saw a short distance beyond a boat upside down with men struggling on iti lt 1 I struck out in that direction took hold of one mans hand and lifted my legs over and secured a position thereon with members of the titanic crew A man in front had a sort ot of an ore with which he be propelled our craft while another another in the stern seemed to have a plank for a similar purpose at any rate we pushed our way thru the wreckage and when the complement of men was about thirty we could not mot take like a single one more inore on the boat it 11 we had it would have collapsed the men struggling in the water appealed for help but we had to explain to theral them that to assist one would mould be to destroy us all an ali unknown hero here to whom we explained said all right boys goodbye good bye and god bless you all night long we lay upon the boat the water frequently up tip to our waists the lords prayer was repeated over and over again in unison by us its all towards dawn in order to be seen better we all stood up in col column ullIn fashion two deep and frequently shouted tor for help but for anyone to have turned hap a ou to locq back at that time would h av e mead almost certain tain de destruction at dawn four of tile the boats appeared on our starboard stai board side and the second officers whistle soon commanded to our relief two of the boats it N vas as a glad sight and add soon we were transfer ed to two larger boats b oats the one to which I 1 was transferred was fired with upwards of sixty five jf ft we had had to wait more than an all hour in the water before entering the boat wo we would certainly ceita have sunk the second officer was the last to leave t the lie capsized boat and I 1 helped to transfer a dead man mail into the large boat after long hours of suffering in the cold I 1 at last was rowed with the rest to the sheltering arms of the hospitable carpathia Carp athla up the sides tile the women were lifted and I 1 clambered up a rope |