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Show ' r t t 1 f Here the best case of false pretense If ' girl that , ever ' worked CATCHES. GAME FORQUARTER; r Stumbles la on us by. accident .trdr).TT., keep her?" H we get a Janitor who serves ns as Not y a Jugful l'U, send 9 Bradley K ocher of Detroit Tiger Is though we were moguls. Smithklns the price of her advert! Called From Grandstand to Earn ment in an anonympus letter, " a Things went on this way for Munificent Bum. , ' wmths. Henry Sparks told live real have and to hold is a good motto estate agents to quit looking up a a case like this." Had the manager of- - the Easton That girl Rose, mho stumbled in & coon try home for him. "You cant beat team of the now - defunct Atlantlo thi combination I've gpt right here la league refused to give Jack Kocher, the Sparks' flat that moving day nig! t th heart of was a dream. She cooked things now second catcher of the Detroit Chicago," he aald. THE KID EATS a turn; she was willing; she didit 1 box of cigars went a long way team, th 25 oents that ' he paid to with the janitor. He insisted on witness a game at Easton In 1909 the nave a cross mord in her vocabular : etstf she didn't care to go to balls on Si hssting the Sparks rugs, he gilded the Tigers would probably be without one BY, EDWARD B. CLARK 160 Mala titraat night, and she was plump aui rsdiatore, hq fixed the door knobs, and of the best young backstops in th good looking. The Sparks' family I totard the end of the second month game. That waa the only condition was washing the 'window every on which he would was Ideal. oatph fpr, Easton 4er day. The winddwa of the other when he was One morning as Mr. Sparks picked out of the stand Most of us get what we deserve were dingy and tflnger-mxrked- . Tommy, just out of a paroxysm, leaving the building to go to the offl RS. SPARKS sat In the after the only catcher that team bad was a pearl of great price. She was fall to recognise it. but window of the little turned his bead and caught sight of he met the janitor, mho was coml fouL a by crippled the chi! from the dinner a up "Painters basement empty attclpaled wish Tommy of ffieQevery luck pall. of every leading that merest ls flat, darning. the pie's bit Il of the family. There waa. little gave Kocher his start In baseball with each hand. Mr. Sparks had bar Sparks, aged four, had good, be murmured. Mrs. for Mrs. Sparks to do but to Sparks sank into a chair laugh- ly noticed the janitor before. Th been allowed to go It happened this way. Kocher Uved and to mend Frances' stock-HA grin morning something in the man's bea alone to play In the ing and crying hysterically. White Haven., near Philadelphia, on Mr. Syark's face. The For some reason or other, and a short distance from Easton. A struck him and turning, he sail great yard that lies appeared doctor and the druggist looked dis- "William, youve been In the service Gary Sparks, though he had always big, husky farmer's boy drifted into the apartbetween "Yes, sir," said William, "1 put s P tided himself on his perspicaoity, Easton to visit hla. cousin, said boy ment building and the gusted. Mr. Sparks gave the painter Cakes and Delicious Ice Cream a peter noticed that whenever Wlll'am being Kocher, on d- - day when th swell private resi- a dollar. "Go to a restaurant and get five years in the Fourth cavalry." I can tell a regular the minute Ijfoind that something in the kitcheu square meal, he said. dence which faces the Easton team was playing a double-heade- r are always sure to tie the results Henry," said Mrs. Sparks, still in clap eyes on him," said .Mr. Spark heeded fixing the Job was always on drive. Mr. 8 parks was against Snnbury, another Ah when a struggle between two emotlous, "I put In a good many years mysel !ht required three at his office, and all days time. lantic league team. One night Mr. Sparks went down You have two fine children here, W! the young Sparkses, "what shall we do with that bey?" The cousin suggested that they to do some work. He didnt get Well," answered Henry as he sur- lam " barring Tommy, were at school. From the afternoon at the ball game pend "Yes," said William assentlngly. an beck till one o'clock. He slipped off and Kocher, who waa aomethlng of a Mrs. Sparks' vantage point In the lit- veyed Tommy and his surroundings, "I his shoes at the door so as not to think from the cleaning these two then Mr. Sparks said Good-byetle bay window she could catch occacatcher In White Haven, agreed to That nlghj when Mr. Sparks reac sesken his wife. He passed through go along. In the seventh Inning of sional glimpses of a painter in the big professional gentlemen have Just given him, that if we could turn him in- ed home his wife said: "The janlt r th hall and feeling hungry he went the first gams Catcher Barret was yard next door, who was moving side out he'd make a good advertise- came up today and washed the wii back through the dining room with a EXTRACTS ARE USED stone to along slowly from store put oul ' h s bunged finger and the ment for some brand of soap. dome. 1 didn't think it was a part f nilsd and appetite bent on exploring painting the foundation of the house game was about to be called off. when his work, but he said it was all rigl t thi kitchen pantry. The door leading the cousin tipped the manager off td of their rich neighbor a subdued sort The 8parke Old 8oldler Janitor. and insisted. He told me that he usrp lute the kitchen was shut. In his the fact that Kocher could catch. of red color. FREE coupons for ROGERS "Elisa," said Mr. Sparks on the to be In the regular army and that tocking feet Mr. Sparks made no Kocher didnt want - to catch , Mrs. Sparks was dreamily wonderin EVERY night of the day that they moved Into knew you had been Jn the service holm. He opened the door quickly. game that he had paid to see, and fine silverware ing why the foundation which had their new Tbs PACKAGE. too. "this life is kitchen flat, apartment gas was burning. From so informed the manager, making been pretty in its natural hue, need- morse th far end of the room came a click- the than one of Dante's circles. Ill "Thats It, Elisa," said Henry, ed painting at all, when Tommy proposition that he would catch make one more move before pld soldier likes to do things for a ing noise.' William the was It he received hie quarter back. An janitor You can always get something for Sparks toddled in through the door- I die, just and that will be Into a house pther old soldier. He washed our wi stssdlng .at attention with his heels agreement reached, he put on Bar- nothing In the form of advice. way leading from the kitchen. Tommy In a suburb. Here we are Just moved, dows because we had both done ha broight sharply together. As the man ret's uniform and caught eleven inhad come up from the yard the batk ssssssasssssssssa and no girl Of duty on the plains. He must be junped to the position of a soldier nings of star baseball Tba follow everything topsy-turvway. Tommy had some streaks of course, the latest wl: a be has for Mr, from the good, steady fellow, acquisition If job can bo! come to Sparks saw that one of his srms Ing day Lave Cross, the old Athletic red running diagonally down from had juat dropped from Its employment bureau had to leave us and two children. They have a flat position of and Washington third baseman, came each corner of his mouth, and his Just the hank, this bank to throw all the burden of the the basement. embrace abont the waist of Rosa, the to Easton with his Mount Carmel linen dress was spotted in places with fi Mr. and met on us. William the will come to you. x mail. packing up quite unpacking Sparks team. Kocher threw to all. the bases the same color. Then again the janitors of all flats are quenlly after this. William alma; Mr. Sparks was horrified. He went with such speed and ease thht Cross Mo natter when yon lire, you "Tommy Sparks," demanded' his devils. Ill bet the one In this build- saluted. If he happened to be etnn ba to when as a non-cohe told Connie Mack and Kocher has days been can do burton her th roust) our have on earth you mother, "what will to as be worse still Mr. had Verbally lashed some bluecoat had a job ever since. than any ing ing Sparks passed banklni-by-madepartment. eating? of the others, and even a man accus- would come to "attention," click! duty derelict Write lor booklet tellloc how. a swung Into chair, Put SI or more NOW Id ssvinfs Tommy climbed tomed to using strong language can't his heels together the w hile and salu "Wlllam, he said In a account and wetob a (tow it I PITCHER LOSES LITTLE TIME his legs in his Infantile way and said: say anything stronger than that. Just ing like the old campaigner he Wa thunder, "how dare you! per cent compound Internet. fill!!' "Mamma, painters pies good." look at this muss, will you, and no Almost every, night when he reachd seer jdrel, sir!? horMrs. Sparks gave one hurried, one to help us fix up." home Mrs. Sparks would tell Henry f William's hand went to his fore- Brooklyn Twlrler Accomplishes. Notable Feat In Rscent Game With rified glance through the window at Just then the front doorbell rang. some new act of attention ou the pai i head in a salute. "Rosa and I are to Cincinnati Red. the red paint which was being daubed be married next week. Mr. Sparks," V on the neighbors house, and then . Salt Lake City hs said. f Pitcher Rsgon of the Brooklyn Dodgturned her anguished countenance HS. ATawwrf'trmfth was the gasping Harried! of the fastest working toward Tommy. How about your wife and ers Is one spots. In National League. In a ' the twirlers a was voice her pleading tw children down stairs? "Tommy, Its quedr how possession will derecent game with the Cincinnati Reds . That's my widowed sister and her wall, "did you eat the painters stuff crease the value of most things. nut of the pail?" twe little ones. Shes been keeping home for me," said William. "Yes, out of the pall; painters pies Mr. Sparks A POSITIVE sod PEI good," answered Tommy. groaned and went limply MANENT CUKI FOI The. maid Mrs. Sparks shrieked. back Into the front room. He waked rushed in from the kitchen. Get the his wife. "Eliza," he said, our dream Drunkenness and Is ever. Rosa is going to marry the doctor, the druggist and Mr, Sparks." Opium Diseases. screamed Mrs. Sparks. "Tommys eatJadtor. It wasnt any old soldier , Of w W os and everyen paint and sugar of lead sentiment at U that, aaadw bias Ttl Shituif BB1BI, ntfo IMIB V.IhMf V TbmIb - girl, go." - Susan rushed STiTUll Go,StM. morn-intell Uk I'll in ,iu&dows. the Hunt thing. to look fof a home for us In the through the door, sent' the corner druggist flying up to the house, orand, sighing, - Mr. 8parks s)try," Mr. dered the clerk to telephone BfrKBSStiPFnES to bed. geit Sparks and then sat out on a chase for i At the breakfast table next morning HewSouic. Victor, On Ida the doctor. Wtfilam and Rosa cams In hand Sue erisIkMhcnisptAau, Anoultlaw and Animal Belts at rock In the meantime Mrs. Sparks was haad. "We're going to be married bottom srles. WHU tar ter ifentnM CATALOG fan SSwSfNwsiiCil moaning over Tommy, who was taknett week, Mrs. Sparks, said Rosa, he which ing the unusual commotion "hst my slater want a place and III LwvRhSaf had created as blandly as would most end her here. Shes a better cook He insisted on occathaa I am. . sionally reiterating that "painters pie At this bit of Information Mr. was good, and at each reiteration the Yon Sparks face cleared visibly. mothers heart sank. both have my blessing, 'A Devil of A he said Pitcher Rsgon. The druggist rushed In. Tommy Bond in your sister Rosa, and If Will-s- i Good Cement has eaten paint Heaven alone knows leaves here 111 get eld Highratee, but one hour and ten minutes were must had have how much. It sugar All Purpose!, he landlord, to send a good janitor In needed to enable Rsgon to defeat the of lead In It, and thats sweet and kls place, but 111 take good care that unnecall omits westerners. Rsgon thats why he ate it. he Is not an old soldier. And then, essary flourishes' and keeps right at The druggist grabbed up Tommy, of Mr, torgetful everything else, work all the time he la in the box, half threw him onto a lounge, and Sparks turned to his wife and said never taking a , Nothing to Brag About bathing spell, nor 1 then turned to the mother. "Control They cant resist an old soldier, can lowing his catcher rest were walking on the beach any They yourself, Mrs. Sparks; life lepeuds on (hey, my dear?" when the subject of bathing sun, I Instant action. Get me salt, potash was introduced by jtlie young lady as Trfpls Play' Unasslstsd. and soft soap." Luckily Mrs. 8parks Danger In "Shuttle Kissing. First Baseman William RPP of the follows: ; had all three articles In the bouse, "Shuttle kissing." as a vehicle for Portland Baseball club of th Faclfia Mon are always criticizing women and she rushed off to the kitchen abd the transmission of diseases from one Coast league made trip play un- about their bathing suits; but I don't brought them back.- - Tommy as yet person to another employed In .Engin a recent game between see anything to brag about In the bowed no sign of collapse. The druglish weaving sheds, ip the gubject of assisted and Oakland. Oakland run- mens suits here." s recent report which has been Issued Portland gist put two tablespoonfuls of salt In on first and second bases. were ners He glanced at a scrawny mtn who half a glass of lukewarm' water and is a parliamentary paper. The "kiss- low liner toward was sunning himself on the sand and batsman hit The forced Tommy to swallow It sputter -tag" referred to takes place when the ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN EATINGf WHAT first and th base runers, thinking the replied. dont either." National ing. Thls dose was followed up with operator puts the thread through sn a heroic one of potash, and then Henry Sparks stumbled over two of the Janitor "He came up and re In the shuttle. This Is done by hall could mot be iflelded,-sprinteMonthly. ball Tommy was made to swallow a large tranks, his daughters bicycle, barked went all over the plumbing today," (facing the shuttle In the mouth and ahead. . Rapps scooped up the Wonderful Crops. the touched one hand before it with of With coffee cupful the bis shin, bruised his toes and finally she said one night. softsoap. "Ilf said be ricking the thread through the little Wilson Secretary of Agriculture soap down and Tommy's eyes hang- reached, the door- - There In the hall wanted to make sure that there opening. The report says that while ground. He touched first base before could Bet back and then was talking to the Washington Star ing out of his head and well down stood a young woman, comely and wasnt any sewer gas In th place " Be Investigation has shown the pfes-o- the runner to second In time to get th about the record crops of 1912. over his cheek bones, the druggist strong looking. "Is this the place you method to be uncleanly "and may raced There, It is just as I told you, . . , man. third turned the youngster over on his want a girl?" she asked. "These wonderful crops," he said, oven i be a possible means of spreading Ellen, aald Mr. Sparks; this Janitor stomach on the couch and shook him. Into A sudden joy leaped "are almost enough to make you beHenry doesnt want to see the family of an infection," the committee does not Good to Teareau.' The only thing about Tommy that Sparks' heart "Yes," he eald. Come old soldier suffer. Ill lieve the cross-cu- t taw story. give him a box Gink the time Is yet ripe for insisting to strain a point to make had didnt rebel at this treatment was his In. We have Just moved; were all up- of cigara tonight Eliza, this la the otther, by act of parliament A farmer, you know, send his hired They or by t stomach. That held onto Its unaccus- side down here. Look out for tie finest kind of life.' Never talk to me game for Jeff Tereau at man to a neighbors with a noteon the abelltlon of the exist-- a on September 6, but not saying: . tomed load with a pertinacity worthy boxes!, Philadelphia a about house. form suburban of shuttle. again taking of something better. At this Juncture because the Big Bear did not do his Then Mr, Sparks led the way into Will you please Friend Smith: fly the painter appeared on the scene. He the dining-roohd turned the caller pari. The disputed hit was a shortWilsaw, as I wish lend me your cross-cu- t and Merkle admitted to the tearful Mrs. 'Sparks oter to his wife' "Yes, w wont a hit by Patkerl Both so as to get watermelon a cut to up son went after It and let it drop be- It Into that he had left Tils paint pot onUbe girl"- - said MrsE parks; "we've Juat my drayF tween them. It waa first scored M a ground where Tommy could have moved in, and It may be yon wont The neighbor wrote back: found it for about five minutes, while want to stay but Merkle afterwards declared you seehow things hit, Jones: I would be glad "Friend be went round the corner to get e are and what cleaning la to be done" 8to-- y of the Man Who Always Tried life of bread. He made puns on the without hatting an eye that he touch- to lend you my saw, tmt same has Beso 8o that to an took error, ball wfetables and Funny, Especially and he had a habit of look ed the glass of beer, girl. just got stuck In a cantaloupe. " fore Guests. 14 with sudden suspicion at any dish Tesreau't hit- - column ml((ht be At' this instant the doctor fell in "I'm not afraid to work," said the hMded to him, so matter how famll-ta- q blank. at the door on the heels of the maid glrL Not Bible Version. In a story by Mary' Stewart Cutand asking disgustedly, What Is He approved the drngglste treatment At this answer, Henry Sparks, who A Sunday school teacher was reArtis In Mix-Upand added to it a large dose of Ipecac stood In a corner, almost fainted. The ting In the Woman's Home Compan- tstar anywayr Strangers always her young class on Bible verviewing him particularly to their Artie Horman and Artie Butler did Under this last added horror Tommys girl produced a letter from a Luther- ion appears the following characterizhad recently learned. She sions a thby himself man who made a on a cf In-ation act and fly Gaston Certain ancient. Inherited the Alphonse stomach and spirit both gave wey. an clergyman little country, vilus Jove one another." and Let recited be to ahtedotes could be endured by his recently, and were roasted for being Like the younger hopeful in Helen's lage It happened that Henry Sparka nuisance by always trying asked If any pupil knew another then ile . came Clarke and aeh-Is he was and If but even funny: while man. Manager he knew the The girl taken on with bonehesds, played whale, Babies, children, made A Mr. Brentwood was well born, well strain, bat there was a bathtub to their rescue with the explanation verse about love. didnt cast up Jonah he cast op pretty the .sppt, as she declared ahe waa when and for frantic recognition He tfltT (Mr. Brentwood bad In his signs near everything else. early that it was dne ta both having the ready to go to work then and there educated and successful In affairs. he was called on replied, T love my While Tommy was in the throes Mr and would havp her things sent right had. In the eyee ol his family, cue boyhood migrated with his parents to same names. Wagner shouted Artie fault be had a masculine sensfl of what was then the edge of the praJ for Butler and Carey shouted Artie" wife, but, oh, you kid." National and shak- over from her cousin. Sparks arrived, ashy-lippeof a homely, almost rural type, rM) -- beginning mendaciously, You for Hofmtn. butoor whole The result was that Monthly. conversation Mrs en. The doctor turned to him.1 "I the During w never took baths when I both AKles ran after the ball and trust Mr. Sparks, that If we can keep Sparks face had worn rather a pus-tie- at which his family winced unconTh Important Point. Mrs. Brentwood, even from mm a boy, that, though It was amus-l- i him at it for ten minutes more we stopped to avoid, collision. expression. When the girl had trollably. of. the household, The daughters nearly went beyond the pale of may save his life. Tommy kept at it volunteered to stay Mrs. Sparks said! the earliest days of their marriage, were talking poliTheo-dor- e ardent suffragists,' to wont heed her had rtflnemenl awful Implore and who we had to an , toothbrush Richie. know The painter, Great Work by retreated be- "How did you happen ' . tics. comwere when story which positively did. If people they expecting fore the stricken countenance of Mrs. wahted a girl?" Lon Richie of th Chicago Cubs has will sweep the country deTaft to he not Brent-fe- d funny." at Mr. now hla pany, was box for He In the the advertisement." lu(hed was aaw work stories, reappeared. car your done great T Sparks, became "Certain Jokes) hr mtnbertsms of practically untram-iwle- team this year. He Is only a pick- clared Mabel. rylng In one hand a dinner pall, which the answer. "Here It la." and the girl were table Wilson will sweep the country," occurthe of his at dally he held npelde down to show those pulled out a copy of the morning paup pitcher, but his splendid twirling asserted Maud.' noticed more rence. when "Another common Hardly any t remark table took 8 In th assembled that It . wa It Mrs. Mercy." by has helped mlghtljy parks absolutely per. .putting Roosevelt will sweep th country," ' J , . ahe exclaimed, "that's the advertise- they were alone, they sprang Into Vr. Brentwood waa that he- never Cubs In th pennant race. empty. -when htd were nee there answered Margaret for potato salad, because any When I came to work this morn- ment 'of Mrs. Smithklns, who lives. In startling prominence He always aald, People coiee cold potatoes always reminded him " Gaston Suspended. At this point dad took a hand. ing." the painter said, "I bad three the flat underneath this. Yon cam to guests.'' from miles around to hear us drink of Cold feet - It was also his habit to "Never mind about whos going to I the wrong apartment" Gaston waa suspended for th Dev piece of berry pi In this pail Who Well I like the looksof this place sonp. He jovially Inquired if he might admonish people to eat slowly and season la the Sooth Atlantic leaguwbe-H-o 'weep th country, said aint got any now, a fact I Just disLouisborrow the, batter. or If Ellen, th distinctly . kitchen? the to covered. I. guess maybe the young- gnyway. andjll stay.) got this fro the old ngM ),a xm drawing more thaa th sweep going ville Courier-JournaHenry," eald Mr. S'part, wont waitress. could 'spar' him another taring, Read slowly sad distinctly. j MlMy HmK o( tu. ster knows where It went." Jj tT be ft -- SPARKS FAMILY HAPPENINGS Write for Our New Catalogue -- PAINTER'S P.E , 1 lt a. or-fou- r HEWLETTS ! .' r y . Walker Brothers Bankers i - BB - tifyvK&it i 3 fr ,I at 1 no-hi- Nuisance at the Table no; ." enter-Utame- four-year-o- d d lw, ' d. - L i '! |