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Show Good Jokes TALL FISH STORY. Home Duties, “MINES AND MINING The Little Beaver company started ts mill to grinding out gold bullion at its mine in Beaver county cn Monday morning The amount of business done on the Salt Lake mining stock exchange during the month of April was a lit- bb (rushing in)—Oh, Mrs. tle over one million dollars, 2,212,765 “Speaking about showers of fish,” did you leave Silk & Co.s shares of stock changing hands. said the solemn-looking nature faker “re tore so early? They've just from his seat on the starchbox, The long task of draining the Oneautiful bankrupt stock of tario mine at Park City is nearing minds me of the time we were ma ipbon Come right back, quick rooned on an island in the blue Pa the end, and it is expected that it will Mrs. Gé d (with a powerful effort at effic. For two hours there was a be only a short time now until the self-con —i cannot, Indeed, I can shower of fresh mackerel and, strange men are exploring the 1,500 level. net; I n help my husband to get to say, they all dropped into a salt At the, annual meeting, held last Ν. Y. Weekly. lake on the mountainside. That brined dinner week at Butte, of the Boston & Mon them.” tana Consolidated Copper & Silver ANIMPOSSIBILITY. “Whew!” the old codgers chorused Mining company stockholders, the old in unison board of directo was again chosen. “But that’s not the strangest part During the month of April the ore of the story. Ten days later a cyclone and bullic settlements in the Salt came along, picked up the brined Lake market, as reported by McCormackerel and dropped them into a hot nick & Οο., amounted to $1,284.000, spring. That boiled them; and, gen | | which is about $17,000 more than the tlemen, they were the finest boiled record for March mackerel you.ever tasted, I thought | A $10 token issued by the Cincinabout sending some home to the folks nati Mining company in 1849 was but—” | sold at auction in London last week There was a sudden interruption and purchased for an American at and six strong men took the nature faker outside and ducked him in the | $2,175. There is only one other simihorse trough—Chicago Daily News lar token extant Wagons The Rude Girl, are now being taken through the snow right into the town of Alta, according to the latest reports from that camp The snow is disappearing more rapidly this spring than for many seasons past “T wish sometimes that I could fly And soar through the air.” So quoth the callow dude. Then said the maiden rude: ‘Of flying fish I've often heard, But flying lobsters, on my word, Are rare, oh, very rare.” —Chicago Daily News. CLOTHES FIRST, MANSECOND. Staylaight—They said you weren't home, Tried to fool me, but I’m not | such a fool as I look. Miss Wearie—Yes—er—I mean, no | you couldn't be, or—that would be im| possible, don’t you know? After more than a year of difficulties at the mine and mill of the Consolidated Mercur company at Mereur, Utah, the company is now pound. ing away to splendid purpose. During March the output of gold bullion was valued at $77,000 Leading authorities assert that the consumption of copper in this country has increased from 15,000,000 pounds per month last October or November Probably Safe from Them, Bjornstjerne Bjornson had just been to 30,000,00 pounds. A normal month| ly consumption in prosperous times is, christened. “We're a little curious to know,” from 35,000,00 to 50,000,000. said his parents, “what the spelling reThe senate committee on mines formers will do when theytackle that and mining has reported favorably name,” the bill to endow schools of mines on Thus far, however, his distinguished departments of mining in state eduname has escaped mutilation.—Chica- cational institutions. The bill is go Tribune. | similar to the one reported favorably | from the house mining committee, NOT MEANT FOR THE ACTOR. /NORTHWEST New Jersey Pest Responsible for En: | thusiastic “Applause.” A certain theatrical troupe, after a dreary and unsuccessful tour, finally arrived in a small New Jersey town. That night, though there was no furor or general uprising of the audience there was enough hand-clapping to arouse the troupe’s dejected spirits. The leading man stepped to the foot | lights after the first act and bowed | profoundly. Still the clapping con tinued. When he went behind the scenes he saw an Irish stage hand laughing heartily. “Well, what do you think of that?” asked the actor, throwing out his chest. the “What d'ye mean?” inquired Irishman. “Why, the hand-clapping out there,” was the reply “Hand-clapping?” “Yes,” said the Thespian, “they are giving me enough applause to show they appreciate me.” “D’ ve call that applause?” inquired the old fellow. “Whoi, thot’s not applause. Thot’s the audience killin’ mosquitoes.”—Everybody’s Magazine. BUYING PAINT BLINDLY. Many people look upon paint buying as a lottery and so it is, the way they do it It is not nezessarily so, however. Pure White Lead and linseed oil are the essentiai elements of good paint. Adulterants in white lead can be easily found by the use of a blowpipe. Adulterations in linseed oil can be detected with a fair degree of certainty. See that these two elements are pure and properly put on and the paint will stay put. National Lead Company, Woodbridge, "Building, New York City, will send a blowpipe outfit and instructions for testing both white lead and linseed oil, on request. NO MARRIAGE BELLS FOR HIM. Dolly—Have you proposed one yet this year? to any- Polly—No, indeed! I’ve got to wait until I get my new gown finished. Unnecessary. “Mamma, did you ever notice how Uncle Jasper eats?” “No, dear; it is impolite to watch your uncle while he is eating.” Farrell, at the north end of the dis- “But you don’t have to watch him, mamma, You can hear trict . Two feet of $50 ore has been encountered. him eat.”— Coicago Tribune. S. S. Rosenstamm, who is associated in business with Adolph Lewis sohn, says that in his opinion the time for low priced copper has gone by. The improvements that are under contemplation by the Pennsylvania and other railway systems can not but help improve the copper situ- He Prescribed. Singleton—I am feeling miserable, doctor. I can’t get my mind on my business, my appetite is gone and I can’t sleep. What would you advise me to do? Dr. Wise—Marry the girl. Two dollars, please.—Chicago Daily News. Police! Jonesby—That Chicago man ation, he says. A Boston dispatch says the reasons for the recent break in Montgomery who Shoshone stock is the fact that devel- slept two weeks was arrested yester- day. “What! You did this and never told Smithson—What was the charge against him? Jonesby—Impersonating anofficer.— Judge. me before? How careless of you, Mary.” “Well, sir, I thought it didn’t matter much, as the arms were broken off already.” USED TO SUCH NOISE. Working Fast. Yeast—They say a fly buzzes its wings at the rate of 352 times a second. Crimsonbeak—Well, when I hear a buzzing sound I’m not quite sure whether it’s a fly’s wings, or my wife talking —Yonkers Statesman. Wayside Communings. Wareham Long—Wot started the hard times, anyway? Tuffold Knutt—We did, ye ole fool. We was sufferin’ with ‘em long ‘fore anybod¥ else caught ‘em.—Chicago Tribune, opments of the last been disappointing show that much of commercial value; future will depend ture development. six months have and the reports the ore is below that the mine’s largely upon fu- The production of copper for April in the Butte district is estimated in excess of 25,000,000 pounds. North Butte’s share Was 3,700,000 pounds, Butte Coalition produced from the Rarus mine alone 2,400,000, Ana conda’s production is in excess of 7,000,000 pounds, and Boston & Montana nearly 8,000,000 pounds. The news comes from Butte that orders have been issued to nearly all shift bosses of Amalgamated, and pre. sumably to North Butte and Butte Coalition, to mine less first-class ore, In some mines the miners have been taken off first class entirely. The presumption is that the companies find they can make moneyunder present economies on lower grade ore. In and Out, A well known Utah mining operaBinks—My sister is coming out this tor, speaking of the confidence he has spring. Nevada, Winks—How long was she sent up| in the future of Rawhide, says he has recently expeded $30,000 for?—Judge. in cash in the camp, both in the acquisition and development of proper.lies within the boundaries of the district WOULD MAKE AHIT. Jinks—Does that woman in the next flat annoy you by her singing? Blinks—No; I'm a bookkeeper in a sawmill.—Utica Observer. The new mining camp of Bull Valley, in southern Utah, is | miles from Acoma, on the thirty-five Salt Lake Willing to Oblige. “Ab, Mr. MeMicken,” sighed the Widow Hoolihan, “sure, an’ whin me ould man doied it left a big hole in meheart.” Route, and about the same distance from St George. The ore bodies are from three to four feet in thickness, and assays of $200 gold to the ton are “Faith, Mrs. Hoolihan,” McMicken, “an' it’s mesilf havin’ a big heart. Would takin’ part av it t’ fill up yer own?’—Chicago Daily Results from the first clean-up at the Celtic mill at Boise are highly satisfactory to the management. This clean-up was made on Monday of last week, after 75 tons of ore were put through. A total of $320 in gold was secured, an average of a little more than $14 a ton said Mr. as is after yez moind th’ hole in News. Coldly Considered, “I, sir,” remarked the self-important statesman, “was never approached with a proposition of graft in mylife.” “That fact,” answered Senator Sorg- hum, not | “may be a recognition of your honesty and then again it may be a re- | Hotel Clerk—What's the reason that flection on your influence.”—Washing you're going to leave us, Miss De ton Star. Swelle? Are you dissatisfied with the Among Friends. service here? Patience—I hear Peggy's gone in Miss De Swelle—Oh, not at all, but for ballooning. the stationery at the Smith house has Patrice—Indeed! Well, she must be such a beautiful crest on it and looks happy. She always looked as if she so much more genteel than yours that wanted to get her nose up in the air I've taken rooms there.—ChicagoDafly ~-Yonkers Statesman. | News. uncemmon The latest discovery of importance in the Gold Circle district is the find in lease No on the Gold Crown group, of fourteen inches of org which will average $1,200 to the ton in gold and silver. This lease promises to become one of the big show places of the Gold Circle district Another spectacular leasing propo sition at Goldfield, the Little Florence, has reached the end of its activelife, The company was in operation less than 300 days, yet it has paid out the sum of $430,000 in the shape of dividends, and $100,000 is nowtied upin the treasury on account of litigation, The senate has passed a bill providing for the appointment of an additional assistant treasurer of the United States, to be located at Seattle The Japanese of San Francisco contributed to the fleet entertainment tund the sum of $2,446, the amount being raised by popular subscription General ‘Manager Grueber of the Great Northern railroad, after an investigation of the company’s property so seriously damaged by the bursting of the Hauser lake dam, estimates the loss to the companyis $79,000. The taxpayers of Helena, Mont., last week went on record by a vote of four to one in indorsing the mun! cipal waterworks system and the ex tension of the present sewerage Sys tem, The proposition was for the is suance of $670,000 in bonds, Every department of the Southern Pacific shops at Sparks, Nevada, re sumed operations at full blast last Monday morning. The departments have been running with greatly re duced forces for several months past At least 500 men are affected. George Ehle, fireman of the Burling: ton overland limited, dynamited by bandits near Butte, is dead. This makes the third fatality of the wreck The officers are very reticent concerning any clews which might lead to the identity of the perpetrators of the blowing up of the train. Just a Deduction. A polite little girl was dining one day with her grandmother. Everything at the table was unusually dainty and wunexceptionable, but on this occasion the little girl found a hair in her fish. “Grandma,” she said, sweetly, “what d of fi’ is this?” man of thd quarries of the the crime. Edward McAfee, a negro, Ominous. four months now.” “Well,” demanded the senior part- ner, “what of that?” “Why, he hasn’t asked for an increase in salary—” “Heavens! We must have his accounts examined.”—Catholic Standard and Times. Good Work Has Slow Growth. Bancroft spent 26 years on his history and Webster 36 on his dictionary. 'Tis the same with the great inventions. It took years of study a.d experiment to perfect them. Everything must have a foundation, otherwise it cannot stand, and the moresolid the foundation the safer is the structure. I put myself in the way of things happening and they happened.—Theo- dore Roosevelt. FRIENDS HELP. Park Incident. “After drinking coffee for breagfast I always felt languid and dull, having no ambition to get to my morning duties. Then in about an hour or so a weak, nervous derangement of the heart and stomach would come over me with such force I would frequently have to lie down. “At other times I had severe headaches; stomach finally became affected and digestion so impaired that I had serious chronic dyspepsia and constipation. A lady, for many years State President of the W. C. T. U., told me she had been greatly benefited by quitting coffee and using Postum for years with asthma. She said it was no cross to quit coffee when she found she could have as delicious an article as Postum. “Another lady who had been troubled with chronic dyspepsia for yeurs, found immediate relief on ceasing coffee and beginning Postum twice a was wholly cured. Suwill another friend told me that Postum Food Coffee was a Godsend to her, her heart trouble having been relieved after leaving off coffee and taking oa Postum. “So many such cases came to ms notice that I concluded coffee was the cause of mytrouble and I quit and took up Postum. I am more than pleased to say that my days of trouble have disappeared. I am well and happy.” “There's a Reason.” Read “The Road to Wellville,” in pkgs. Ever read the above letter? A new one appears from time to time. They are genuine, true, and full of human | interest. ‘We can’t be next door to everybody, but shopping by mail with the F. J. HILL DRUG CO. SALT LAKE CITY, Is an appreciated convenience.”’ Mail orders filled and forwarded by return mail. BRIDE BALKED AT THE ALTAR. Massachusetts Girl Refused to Wed Count and Denounced Him. At St. Stanislaus’ church, Fall River, Mass., Angela Pawlow, daughter of a merchant, absolutely refused to go on with the marriage ceremony that was to unite her to Basyl Mulinski, who says he is a Polish count and the owner of an estate in Russia. The marriage had been set for eight o’clock, The church was crowded with friends and relatives. The bride- arm of the bridegroom. She escaped Then the girl ran down the aisle toher mother. The audience was dumfounded. Before it really appreciated from the asylum at Pueblo, Colo., and what had happened the church officials: attacked Mrs. Edward Jones with a | had cleared the church. “The bookkeeper,” said the junior partner, “has been married nearly She 100 Atlas Block, Salt Lake City. Washoe |{56 trians and Italians are suspected of perhaps it was mermaid.” Our facilities for handling your account unexcclled. We makeliberal advances on all Utah Stocks. Smelting company at Anaconda, | turned and faced the crowded church Mont., was blown up by giant powder and answered loudly: one night last week, Mr. Wickland “No; he has been unfaithful to me being injured, but the rest of the fam- before marriage. I will not marry ily escaped unhurt. Discharged Aus- him.” “Oh,” replied the child, “I thought day. BROKERS SOLICIT YOUR PATRONAGE Cleveland Murdock, a well known young man of Reno, Nevada, son of a | groom had answered an exultant wealthy stock raiser, walked into a “Yes” to the usual question, and the saloon in Reno and, after joking with bride, in a white silk wedding dress some friends, drew a revolver and with long veil and wedding bouquet, fired a bullet into bis brain. There seemed to smile as Father Basin is no known reason for the deed, ex- | turned to her and asked: “Will thou cept that he was of a melancholydis- | take unto thee this man to be thy position. lawfully wedded husband?” The home of J. G. Wickland, fore- | The bride dropped her hand from “Halibut, my dear.” Food Coffee; she was troubled CHILD, COLE CO. mine. Former Senator W. A. Clark is in & hospital in Los Angeles, where he underwent an operation for a growth on the left side of his neck. The operation was successful and the multi-millionaire mine owner will be out in a few days. “Gee! Mamie says it’s leap year 1” an’ she’s goin’ ter propose to me! Paul SALT LAKE CITY, UTAK It is announced that no attempt will be made at present to reopen No. 1 mine at Hanna, Wyo., where a large number of miners recently lost their lives as the result of an explosion There are still fifty-six bodies in the “What's the matter, boy?” St. If you wantasmal! present you will find our display of jewelry and novelties most tempting. The 1908 designs are coming in, and we always show the choicest selections. Henry P. Morrison, brakeman on the Heppner branch of the Oregon Railway & Navigation company, shot and killed his sweetheart, Nora Wright, near Morgan, Oregon, and wounded Bonnie Ahart, her companjon, on Sunday. Morrison then shot himself and he is not expected to live. Succinctly Stated. Orders were placed last week for a Visitor—I have often heard of your | “elevated loop problem.” What it it. | car of lumber and mining timber in the Northwest by the Seven Troughs Old Resident (who happens to be a stockholder)—The problem is how to Eclipse Mining company. This is the by this Seven get the most nickels out of it with the second step taken least expenditure of money on it.— Troughs company for beginning the plan of driving a new shaft to depths, Chicago Tribune, A. series of big discoveries on the POOR VENUS, Snow Squall claims, belonging to Te H. Williams and Frank Crumpacker, bas suddenly turned the attention of the Seven Troughs district to Victor canyon, between Burnt canyon and NOTES ¢ hatchet, inflicting injuries which will True Economy. probably cause her death. McAfee Economy is generalship in little stood off his pursuers with an ax and things. Some women bythe magic of was only captured when a fire com can make a dime go pany was called out and turned the | their habits | further than others can make a dollar. hose on him, Mrs, P. J. W. Adams, wife of Pres- These have a sense of fitness and nice ident Adams of the Seventh-day Ad- arrangement. They can contrive to so ventists of western Canada, is be- manage that they always seem to be flourishing. These are the women who lieved to have been murdered for her | make simple homes beautiful and money in the Garden of the Gods. bright, giving a contentment not found Colorado. She hag not been lreara in those of more pretentious claims. from since February 5, when she left Boulder, Colo., for Cali*ornia, stopCuriosity. ping off at Colorado Springs. Mr. Stubb—Yes, Maria, 20 years is John Van Tine, convicted of holding up Deputy County Clerk Morton at Reno, Nevada, has been sentenced to ten years imprisonment in the state penitentiary. Van Tine had just fin ished a nine-year term in the California prison for the same kind of offense, upon his relase going to Reno and immediately getting in trouble A, G. Lewis, of Los Angeles, while enroute to Chicago, fell @nderneath a train at Reno and had a narrow escape from death. As it was he escaped with a broken ankle, fearful bruises, and it is feared sustained internal injuries that may yet result in his death, A; Burlington train was dynamited near Butte on the night of May 1, the explosion causing the engines to leave the rails. Every person on the train has been accounted for except Engineer Bussy of the second engine, who is supposed to be buried under his locomotive. As the result of a fight between two Indians, a Chilean and a Mexican at Reno, Nevada, in which knives were the weapons, the Chilean is at death’s door, the Mexican was badly cut up, and both of the Indians were injured. The fight was over two In dian women. While the coudition of Governor John Sparks is serious, the physici ans are hopeful of ultimate recovery The governor is suffering from multiple periphal neuritis, a disease not necesyarily tatal but extremely pain ful, and one th 1 require some time for the patient’s recovery. Ais the result of a decision of the court, G. D. Beattie, a city alderman of Helena, Mont., who was named as co-heir with a pet dog to the estate of Mrs. Mary A. Pryse, who died last February, is now the sole heir, the dog having died, and thereby inherits a valuable residence in Helena. The second trial of F. E. Kiser toi murder growing out of the destruc tion of the Colorado & Southern sta tion at Boulder, Colo., by fire and dy g a switchmen’ namite du trike ii ple wer which several pl killed, re sulted in the j ng a verdic | of murder in the second deg-ee supposed to elapse between the third and fourth acts. Mrs. Stubbs—Do tell! Then we must certainly stay. Mr. Stubb—Ah, you are interested in the play? Mrs. Stubb—Yes, I want to see the change in the style of hat the heroine wears. The Emblem of France. The origin of the fleur-de-lis is stif an unsettled question. There are teany theories, but no two of them agree. One makes the emblem originate with Clovis I., andother with Louis VIL, another with one of the German kings of the twelfth century and still an- other with the Romans. All that ts definitely settled is the fact that since the twelfth century the fleur-de-lis hag been employed as the emblem of French royalty. The nature of the emblem is also in dispute. An old tradition makes it the representation of the lily given by the angel to Clovis at his baptism. Another theory is that it was adopted by Louis VII. in allusion to his name, Louis Florus. —New York American. Purpose. Did you ever hear of a man who had striven all his life faithfully and singly toward an object and in no measure obtained it? If a man constantly aspires, is he not elevated? Did ever 8 man try heroism, truth, sincerity and find that there was no advantage in them—that is was a vain endeavor? —H. D. Thoreau. New Evening Amusement. Among other amusements at some social gatherings is a “Cinderella competition,” a pair of embroidered Turkish slippers being presented to the lady guest who is found to be wearing the smallest shoe. The farm Uncle Rooster. journal sez ye kin cure a cow o’ kickin’ by ketchin’ holt of her leg while in the act. That's right. An’ ye kin cure a bee o’ stingin’, too, by keichin’ holt of her sting while in the act. |