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Show SPECIALIZING IN: *SKIN CANCER *DERMABRASION FOR FACIAL SCARS *ACNE *SPIDER VEIN THERAPY 150 ALTAMIRA AVE., SUITE 900 586-6440 Potpourri of problems perused The airways will soon, (as Dave Lee would say the word,) sUUUUUCK. When you say sUUUUUCK, inhale violently and end the inhale with'a K, and you’ll just about have it. A new interpretation of freedom of speech for the airways allows anyone to say almost anything to whomever will listen. And since profanity, vulgarity, obscenity, lewdness and indecency are all in the mind of the listener, and since nothing is vulgar, obscene, lewd, profane or indecent in and of itself, and since we certainly don’t want artistic expression hampered, and since there are no firm standards of right and wrong, and since we built the earth ourselves and created ourselves and we make the sun to shine on us day and night, and since we never have drought or floods, and since we have such wise government Yeiv leaders who know what’s best for us, because were just a bunch of dumb, ignorant, unsophisticated, sniveling sheep, we should applaud our high court’s decision to open the airways to all the saccharine End of Season Snow Board sounds of humanity. Well done wise and faithful servants and followers of corruption. SALE YOUR MOTHER DOESN’T WORK HERE: A college student, who shall remain unnamed, was on a throne in the student center when Never before have these low prices been seen so low! she heard the following conversation from two visiting high school students: ““I'll be right there, I gotta clean up my makeup mess on the counter.”” The other student said, ‘‘Aw, don’t worry about it, that’s why they have janitors.” Cross Country Ski Rentals Our previously seated student went to wash her hands and found $7.00 per day! powder dusted on the counter, in the sink and on the mirror. A smeared slug-like trail of hair mousse meandered from the tube on Bike Tune-up Student the counter, into the sink, and paper towels were scattered about like so many beer cans cluttering a scenic route. Whose kids were those anyway? Someone is not training America. SHAKING HANDS: $19.95 “‘Give me five.”” Next time you shake hands have been. Having occupied a throne or two in my life, especially different among females? CLUB COMEDY CONSCIENCELESS: Took my wife. We shoulda stayed home. Before I brought my wife, I asked of a friend if it was clean, wholesome humor. Friend said yes. Friend was enemy, maybe. The humor that was sexual in nature was laughed at and whistled at and applauded the loudest—by some of the ladies. The affair was well attended. If you enjoy standup comedy like on the pay Mountain Bike Class Wed. 7-8 Tech 292-31 Sign up now for this class spring quarter. March 25th is the first day. Get into the night class. n IITE t SCHWINN TV stations, Club Comedy will not dissapoint you too much. LOOKING AND SOUNDING Normaly $. 29.95 ’92 bike models are in! *Schwinn *Specialized *Trek *Cannondale with a male member of society, you might consider where those fingers public thrones like those at SUU, I have heard many flushing toilets and few running faucets. A word to the wise should suffice. Is it Special 70 W. 586-4242 Center STUPID: We’re in school. We're learning. Looking and sounding stupid is OK. An artist develops skill like a muscle develops size. I wrote some stuff for the Tailwind literary magazine recently. I wasn’t going to, because I didn’t want to look and sound stupid. But I submitted my writing anyway, so I guess I really don’t mind looking and sounding stupid. (I write this column as proof.) If they don’t print it, no one but the best writers at SUU (Gotcha.) Anyway, I'm intimidated by our SUU faculty poets and other writers who are often considered excellent by their peers. But I put aside all my feeling of apprehension and decided to write anyway. Full steam ahead.” If you’re not already taking chances, pushing to the limit, consider it. Do you really think the best of the best got there without ever failing? Sometimes our biggest failure has in it the seeds of our biggest success. Whopper Sandwich and a Bag of Fries will know. I’'m not a quality writer. Though I am a superior poet. NOT. So ‘‘damn the torpedos. A $1.99 KING with coupon . Limit 2 Per Coupon What have we got to lose, we’re already at the bottom. POLITICIANS: Do you know why most folks take an immediate dislike for a politician? It saves time. REMEMBER THIS: Famous words from Edward Barnsfunkle: Cheese may be added for a nominal charge. Gold is where you find it. Success is where you mine it. Church of Christ 1075 S. Fir Street Watch Speaking the Tuth in love (Eph. 4:15 KCCZTV Chan. 4 Sunday 9:30 am. TV Program Listen Sear for Drection ch KSUB-AM Sunday § am 586-6418 Learn Good only at: 1215 West 200 North, Cedar City Exp. April 30, 1992 Bible Stud Sun..y, 10 am. Moming Worship Il am, Evening Service 6 pm. Bible Study, Wed. 630 pm. Please present coupon to cashier before ordering. Limit one coupon per customer. Not valid with other COUPONS or OFFERS. Void where prohibited by law. |