OCR Text |
Show OPINION COMMENTARY Wishin' for Washington I often wish for another Washington. By this I do nQt mean an additional apple-producing powerhouse in the Great Northwest, nor a crime-ridden, drug-infested copy of our nation's capital. I believe I can do without those. What I long for, as many others surely do, is a man possessing the nobility, grace, and dignity of this first holder of this nation's highest office. I want a president I can be proud of. Among the papers of George Washington is a wonde rful collection of words to live and act by titled Rules of Civility ev Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation. President Clinton could take a few lessons. Although copied by Washington over 250 years ago, many of the 110 admonitions remain extremely applicable today. Some of suggestions sound quite humorous, especially to those in contemporary society. Still others have a poignant bent and genuinely inspire oneself toward self-improvement. In either case, they are worthy ofreview, even now. And some beg for and warrant the included commentary. (Lest you think the spell-checker is on the blink, please note that much of the charm and impact of the advice comes through in the original archaic and old-fashioned language.) So, remember: Put not off your Cloths in the presence of Others, nor go out your Chamber half Drest. This not only applies to the Oval Office, but to other ad;oining rooms, as well. Do not Puff up the Cheeks, Loll not out the tongue rub the Hands, or beard, thrust out the lips, or bite them or keep the Lips too open or too Close. Even if you're trying not to laugh at the funeral of a close associate. Associate yourself with Men of good Quality if you Esteem your own Reputation; for 'tis better to be alone than in bad Company. In other words, ""May those who come for coffee be as pure as the cocaine they push. ,. Run not in the Streets, neither go too slowly nor with Mouth open go not Shaking yr Arms kick not the earth with yr feet, go not upon the Toes, nor in a Dancing fashion. It's unbecoming to Stoop much to ones Meat Keep your Fingers clean and when foul wipe them on a Comer of your Table Napkin. It is likewise unbecoming to cause one's intern to stoop much. When you see a Crime punished, you may be inwardly Pleased; but always shew Pity to the Suffering Offender. Unless an op.imon poll suggests you do otherwise. · Labour to keep alive in your Breast that Little Spark of Celestial fire Called Conscience. And continue to cultivate the desire for a president with character. Glenn Halterman is a political science major from Parowan, Utah. TIDS MARKS THE FINAL 'JOURNAL' OF WINTER QUARTER. WE WILL RESUME PUBUCATION ON THE FIRST DAY OF SPRING QUARTER: MARCH 25, 1998. PROFESSIONAL S1'Al'F AND DESK PHONE NUMBERS: Editor uury Baker 586-7751 Jim RohU1SCm 586-1997 C.1mpus Edit<>• C"onsulting Sports Editors Neil Gardner 586-n53 Brett Jewkc5 58tl-7751 S1VDEN1" STAFF AND DESK PHONE NUJl16ERS: Associate .Editor D .W. Anderson 865·&2.2.S, 586-7750 AP Wire Edito r Kami Egan 586 °7759 Copy Editor Tiana Tow 586-5488 Ph oto Ediior John Guenlcr 586-7759 Opi11ion Dirtctor Brandon Rhodes 586- 1992 Spotts Editor Ch.1d L.1mb 865-8443 Ans Editor Anna Turpin 586-5488 Adv<rtising M~n.-g., Maggie Ne1sen 586-7758 Advertising Designt r Adam Moore 586-7758 R.EPORTERS" lJE.5K 586,7757 The Umversity /ouma'I is publt,hcJ every Monilll)', Wednesday and Emby o( the -academic yc11r as :1 r ublica tion of Somhcrn Uuh Umvcnicy, hs dr:putme.tu of communicado11 anJ the SUU Sludcnc Ai,:soc.fation. The! vlcws anJ orin1ons cxprccSs<..-d in the Journal ate those of ind1v1du.1I writers and d.o not nt.'Cessarily n:Occ-t the opimon of t.hc Jvumal or any entity of the unjvcrsity. U:ttets to the cdhor must be: tyr,cd and include the name and phone n umber. Only the name will ht pr-in:c-cd. N:11ncs will not be withheld Linder any circumstances and the ed.itor reserves cdu.ing privileges. Lcu.crs must be s·ubmiued by noon Fri.Liys for Munday edi rlonS, Tuesdays for Wednesday eJiiion• anJ Thurs<hys for Friday editions. Grievances: Any 1ntliviJual with a grievance again:St the /ourn.ol should direct $UCh probkrn first to the •ditor. If unrcsolvs"<I, that gri<:voncc should then he directed io the Journal Stccring 6,mmluec, which is chaired by Dr Frain C. Pearson, 5S6·7971 . Uaiv.usit1 fwra-1: Offices in SUU Technology ll<Jildin& 003. Mail at SOU Box 9384, Cedar City, Utoh MnO. FAX j43S1 S86°5487. E-mail addttss: joumalltsuu.c:du ' ( )PRINTED O N ll£CYCLED PAPER. PLEASE ll£CYCLE THIS COPY. (( The first break DERK in Spring Break Journal 3- 11- 98 JOSEPH SOBRAN COMMENTARY - ..... ,....,.,.,,...... ,,.,., . The movie Titanic a historical farce The movje Titanic, nominated for- 14 Oscars, looks to be the biggest blockbuster of all time, though it contains neither Clark Gable nor a dinosaur. It combines the appeal of so up y romance with the fascination of watching ants on a burning log. Never mind the historic disaster of the Ti.tame: Here it's no more than background to a fictional love story. An upper-class girl (Kate Winslet), though engaged to a Rich Cad (Billy Zane), finds true love in a shipboard romance with a poor, but free-spirited, young artist (Leonardo DiCaprio). Silly stuff, but the crowds are eating it up, thanks in large part to one of the most ravishing young beauties in Hollywood (Leonardo DiCaprio). He looks about 15-too young for, say, Monica Lewinsky- but he knows things about a woman's heart the Rich Cad will just never grasp and before you know it she's stripping. As for the special effects, the reproduction of the ship is amazing, and angry water has never looked more scary. When the mammoth ship goes vertical and the screami ng passengers fall, limbs flailing, hw1dreds of feet into the cold dark sea, you reflect that, all things considered, maybe the bold of the Amistad wasn't really so bad. But oh, that script. For subtle character development, this mqvie ranks with early Godzilla, before the refinements were added. It shows the rich passengers as a worthless Lotstuffy phonies in tuxedos who wash their caviar down wi th champagne. Of all these snotty plutocrats, none is worse than the Rich Cad the heroine is unhappily engaged to-so unhappily she nearly kills herself, except the hero just happens to be there to stop her from jumping into the ocean, which is how they meet, naturally. It's, like, Destiny. Several clues tell you the heroine should never have gotten herself engaged to the Rich Cad in the first place. For example, he tal ks only about money and business (materialistic). He's never heard of Freud or Picasso (philistine). He slugs his fianc.e e jnasty) for embarrassing him (self. centered). He sneers at the indigent hero (snobbish). H e tries to bribe his way onto a lifeboat (corrupt) ahead of the women and children (cowardJy), and when that fails, be grabs a loose child and pretends fie's her only relative so he can be rescued with her (shameless!). Given all this, it comes as no surprise the Rich Cad doesn't take rejection well eit her. The Titanic is sinking, but does he notice? N o, he sloshes through the rising water in. a jealous rage, firing a pistol at the fleeing hero and heroine (sorehead) and taking a nasty fall /clumsy, too)-a scene that belongs in a Chaplin farce. Io another comic insult to historicity, the hero is handcuffed to a water pipe and sea begins to engulf him. Will the heroine find him in time? Needless to say, nothing remotely like all this happened on the real Titanic, whose passengers thought not only of their lives but of their souls, as people facing death tend to do. A few nameless chumps in this movie do pray (in vain); but the hero and heroine, even when bobhing in the frigid water, haye their minds only on their Jove. With relentless banality, leavened by absurdity, Titanic dumbs down one of the most awesome events of the 20th century. It purports to be an authentic reproductio n of that event, but its authenticity begins and ends with physical detail. It's tone-deaf to the culture of the time, with characters living in 1912 adopting the speech and attitudes of the 1990s; its portrayal of human nature in crisis is flat and unimaginative. A Night to Remember, the 1956 movie about the Titanic tragedy, couldn't touch this one for spectacle. But it told tbe story with intelligence and dignity, and it touched something deeper than the urge to gawk. It didn't leave you feeling that the human race is base and silly. What ·should we expect? A film adaptation of Shakespeare, Jane Austen or Henry James can't get financing these days unless it has a nude scene or two. Think what Hollywood could do with Oedipus Rex. foseph Sobran is a nationally syndicated columnist. |