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Show .~··--· ....__ WM. F. BUCKLEY GARN LEBARON COMMENTARY : Survival guide to Cedar City It's the t ime of year again when thoughts are refocused on _education , and we can look fo rward to the "(Deer) H arvest Holiday ." Whether you are a wide eyed freshman or a seasoned vet returning to finish up your senior year, whether trad or non-trad; this "Survival Guide to Cedar City" has something for you. Realize first, whether you hail from Los Angeles, Las Vegas, the Wasatch Front , Overseas, or from the sleepy little hamlet just over the mountains, you are probably in for a bit of a culture shock. Cedar City can be either a booming metropolis or a speck of dust by the side of the road, depending on your perspective. (It h as been rumored that a freshman from Sigurd was overheard exclaiming: "Oh my HECK!! They have a McDonalds, two Subway's, and a Wal-Mart here!") I won't repeat what some of the more prosaic from Los Angeles were overheard to have said upon arrival. Love it or hate it, we are here and now face the task of livi ng together harmoniously for the next nine months. So let's m ake the best of it. I will begin with some things you can do for entertainment in Cedar City.... Well ... umm ... the re's the roller skating, if you're still in Jr. High ... hmm ... the movies are fun. T hey change abo ut once a week and are generally pretty good. Be sure to attend the alternative film festival that the movie theater sponsors,too. You will have the chance to see some films that you would otherwise have to go out of Cedar City and the surrounding area to see. T he other old standby is the bowling alley or the two beer bars in town( if, of course, you are over 21). If music is your thing, I would suggest a stereo and a collection of CD's. Although we do seem to have acquired a real college radio station this year, it leaves the air at midnight. Given the options I have just mentioned, those from Tropic will likely feel overwhelmed with all their options, while those from Vegas may feel like reaching fo r the nearest bottle of sleeping pills. If you a re looking for a break from your studies in town, let me put in a plug for our nu m ero us clubs and s tud ent organizations on campus. These groups want your input and need your participation. T he key to this area doesn't actually lie in COMMENTARY Rhetoric business with Hitler fatal Cedar City, but in the outlying areas. You will need the following: som e transportation, the proper clothing, and some good outdoor gear. You can rent gear from the student center if you need to. People come here from all over the world to videotape, photograph, and gawk at the amazing natural scenery in the vicinity. My advice to you: TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS!!! When the stress of school becomes overwhelming, when you get a free weekend, resist the urge to run home to mom and dad and do some exploring instead. There are six national parks within a five hour drive from Cedar City. And much of the best scenery and wildlife lies outside of th e parks in the surrounding countryside. So get yourself a backpack and a s leeping bag, grab your cross country or downhill skis, stow your mountain bike, load up the coolers in the car, and head east onto the Colorado Plateau or west into the desert. You will be absolutely amazed at how the stress falls away while you find beautiful sights you never knew existed. T ake a drive up Cedar Canyon and you can enjoy the beautiful aut umn co lors while exploring huge unde rground lava tubes or fishing at Duck Creek and Navajo Lake. Head ove r to Brian Head for a fantastic day of downhill skiing, or enjoy cross country skiing along the edge of the Markagunt Plateau with the fantastic views of Cedar Breaks. Drive over to Zion National Park and enjoy the Temple of Sinewava, or explore the Emerald Pools and Angels Landing. Whe n win ter becomes too much for you this March, drive down to Leeds and bask in the warm sun at Red Cliffs. A final word of warning: southern Utah is not Disneyland. You do not have a variety of preprogrammed, lined-up, plastically organized entertainment options at your dis posal. Yo u won't find yourself mindl essly walking from ride to ride, dance club to dance club, bar band to bar band. Finding entertainment requires you to be crea tive and resourceful as you devise your own activities. You will also find that the creative approach is m uch more fun. No, madam, I will not wipe that smile off my· face. After all, nobody has been killed - though that might not go on forever. I mean, every now and then people get killed in grand opera, so maybe it' ll happen in opera bouffe. George Bush had the same problem. In dealing with Saddam, he let drop that doing business with him was on the order of doing business with Hitler. In the rhetoric business, we call that going all the way . It is a postulate in the Grammar of Rhetoric that you CANNOT do business with Hitler, which means that any effort to · do this is misguided and bound to fail. Clinton didn't use the H-word in speaking of Haitian Gen. Raoul Cedras, but it was the only word he didn't use. His problem just got tougher whe n Jimmy Carter just hung in th ere and sent .!n • Colin Powell and Sam Nunn back from time to time to try to pacify the White House. The whol e point, of course, was to put an end to Cedras right there and the n, before the American planes landed that were already iri flight! . "Waal, not -a quite," the voice of President Carte r sounded from indoors. (Surely then to get him to leave the island?) "Waal, all in doo course. " (But when was doo course? Oct. 15)? No. T hat's when the new president would come in. What happens to the old leader, the one who had raped all the women, slain all the children, murdered all the m en, pillaged all the resources? Hang him ? But w hat about all Cedras' confederates ? After all, one Hitlerite general, can rape only so many women in 24 months. O h, yes, said Jimmy Carter, moisture visible in one eye. Yes, "everybody" done it. Everybody? Yes. Every member of the Haitian army, and every member, so far as records are kept, of the Haitian civil service, was guilty of one larceny, or one rape, or one murder. So what was the alternative to a general amnesty? When the message reached the White House, put exactly that way, the president decided he would live up to the highest s tandards of his office. Quick notice was given to the s tandby Marine Band, the doors of the portico overlooking the Rose Garden were opened, and the president declared ... a great victory for democracy, a tribute to the leadership of our armed services, to the high ideals and training of our fighting troops, and to the patient diplomatic skills of the team I sent over there to - to ... Yo u could not hear those last words. The m usicians were signaled to burst forth in song, overwhelming mere words. Garn LeBaron is a professional studen t. He may be contacted at the following e-mail address: LEBARON@SUU.EDU. William F. Buckley's "most inimitable pieces are those that sk ewer the people he doesn 't lik e, of whom there is no shortage." The New York Times JENNIFER MORLEY COMMENTARY I , Tin cans and strings just don't work Although the parents of teenagers may disagree, telephones are important-especially on those rare occasions when there is an em ergency. Stadium Way apartments (and some at College Wayl are currently facing a c oll ege student's wors t nightmare. We have no phones, and cannot expect to have any until the middle of October or the beginning of November. Something is wrong with this picture. I '...I w~notwipe that smile off my face...nobody bas been killed... ' US West has admitted that the lack of phones and consequent delay to get the phones is its fault, and yet the company r efuses to do anything to compensate the students involved (such as offering free initial hook-up or installing a pay phone near by). Being the only phone company in Cedar City, US West is probably not worried about losing business due to this mishap. After all, we need phones and we can't very well go to another company which will be more cooperative. This dilemma may not hurt US Wes t 's business, but it sure isn't h elping its reputation . If another phone company were to suddenly appear in Cedar City, US West might think twice about the way it is handling this situation. One hig issue that concerns us revolves around the possibility of an emergency. If a family member of a resident is involved in an accident, there is no way for anyone to contact that resident. If a resident is involved in an accident, there is no way for that resident (or that resident's roommatesl to call 911. Most likely, in the amount of time it takes to get to the nearest pay phone, we could have run to the hospital to get the ambulance, and rescued ourselves or fellow roommates from the emergency. While we realize that cellular phones are costly to use and carry a big pricetag if they are stolen, we fee l that US We st s h o uld do something to compensate us. Free hook-up or discounts on our phone bills would be nice. Any sign that US West recognizes us as the customer would be nice. (The customer is, after all, always right. Has US West forgotten this?I Contrary to what the movie "Milk Money" may lead people to believe, tin cans and string do not work very well. fennifer Morley is the 'University fournal' assistant to the editor. |