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Show Page 7 A Sharing Family by Laura Briggs Four boys and two girls sat in an informal, circular arrangement around their mother. Something remarkable here. There seems to to distinguish by way of physical appearance or emotional response, or in a be no way hundred other subtle ways, which of these kids are really hers and which are foster children. Why? Mike, his sister, Claudia, Russ, Bob, Rick and Crysty squirmed, jostled, teased and winked at one another as they unwound after a hard day at school. Each child appeared to be plugged in on a direct line to Claudia, their mother. That was it! That's why they all looked alike. The same stamp of unity was on each and one-famil- y every face. "That's one thing Bill insists upon," said Claudia - or "Mom" the kids all refer to her, "we're one family, whether there are five or fifteen of us. We all have our individualities and our problems, but we share. We're friends. No as special treatment or privileges for anyone. We work it out together. The supreme punishment around here is isolation - being sent to their rooms to 'cool off' and think." Bob is the seventh foster child Claudia has mothered. She had four children of her own from her first marriage, plus three foster children for whom she has been granted permenant custody, before she married Bill. Bill had four children, too, from a prior marriage. foster child himself and had a dream of having a ranch for homeless boys. "Six of our kids were with us at the wedding and all six went Bill was a with us on our six week honeymoon as we travelled around in a trailer throughout California and Nevada, that was a most beautiful, treasured time in my life. wish we could do it all over again," Claudia said. "Believe me, we had our share of problems with our own kids," declared Claudia. "Bill and how parents' learned first-hanproblems spill over into their kids' lives. But we tried to do our best, learning as we went. After our older children grew up and began leaving home, Bill and wanted more children." Bill spent a portion of his younger years in reform school I I d I and jail. He is an extremely perceptive person who seldom misses a thing and is thoroughly acquainted with the world of the disturbed, unhappy child. His goal now is to help other children avoid some of the heartache he knew as a youngster. The family eats meals in shifts because of the small dining area in the home, but it doesn't seem to bother anyone. One of the boys helps with the cooking and all the youngsters have chores to perform before school each day. "Mike has never been in trouble," Claudia declared. "He and his real mother are having problems right now and so Mike and his sister, Claudia, were too upset to stay in their own home. Mike is 16, Claudia is 13. When Mike was in counseling, he decided he'd like to try a foster he was given more than one alternative, one of them being a boys' ranch. "When was in detention," said Mike, "I talked to the kids there about foster homes. I didn't know how to get along with home, although I people. here." I worried about fitting in demonstrates a too many homes like this one," Mike stated. He speaks sparingly, cautiously, when he speaks at all. "Here, they do quite a bit. They listen. They make sense when they talk. They tell it like it is." Russ, age 16, arrived home from work early. He dropped out of school for good this year. Russ had a drug problem. He knows he's not as stable as he'd like-tbe. He and Mike have to work hard to be compatible. Russ had spent time in other foster homes, including a couple of boys' ranches. He said he was kicked out of one boys' ranch for someting he didn't do. "I think I'll stay here," Russ smiles. His eyes are serious. Bob, age 15, had missed a year of school before he came to the home of Bill and Claudia, shortly after the Christmas holidays. Bob admits he was afraid of a new family situation. He looks straight ahead and doesn't flinch when he reports that he definitely dosen't miss his o family. "We started out with every child having his own room," explained Claudia, "but they decided they liked to be together. In fact, our five year old, Johnny, wants us to get another roommate for him, since our youngest foster child returned to home last fall." Johnny is the youngest child of Bill and Claudia. None of the bedrooms are luxurious, nor is the bath. It is evident there is some sacrifice involved in this family's decision children in the area of can't get doctors." employment. Claudia do not approve of the less personalized care available at the University Medical Center. "It's personal investment by each family "There aren't his real to share its home with others. This type of sharing, one that members, seems to be one of the more important factors in uniting this family. "We decided to tell our story for two, well, maybe three reasons," declared Claudia. "The most important reason is that we want more people to open their homes to foster kids. Welfare tells us they have so many kids, especially teenage boys, who are in detention or in shelter homes because they have no place to go. I really feel that our family, myself. Bill and our children, are better people because of the experiences we've had with our foster children. "Bill and are also concerned about the difficulty foster kids have in getting jobs," continued Claudia. "These kids need to work and learn responsibility more than do kids from stable homes. People are sometimes reluctant to hire these kids. Bill feels it is better to reach out and make the extra effort to help these kids learn job responsibility now, than to perhaps have to train them in prisons and reform schools later on. An employer who is aware and concerned enough to take some extra time and patience with them may well be instrumental in changing the course of the kid's whole life." Dick Bruno, social worker for the State of Utah Division of Family Services, reports there are he confessed. "I want so much to frustrating," sometimes have help and knowledge of available jobs. I Often, these kids need a tailored job situation because they don't know just what they want to do. The child's stability problems and lack of confidence are two major factors that make employers hesitate about hiring foster kids." "My third reason for telling our story," states Claudia, "is the problem we have getting doctors to take foster children as patients. have called as many as eight doctors in one day and been turned down by every one. Dentists are no problem, but we I Claudia and Bill and keep in touch with most of their foster children. Thanksgiving and Christmas are special times for Claudia and the children laughed as they remembered trying to squeeze 52 people in their house this past Bill get-together- s. Thanksgiving. "Some might say they aren't really my children," concluded Claudia. "But feel they are my children in the sense that we respect and like one another and I in the way we maintain communication with each other." I Services For You If troubles with your -- no job placement services available for teenage foster children at this time. Jim Holston, director of Northwest Center, states he has tried to work with foster Multi-purpos- e children and family are getting you down, and you are a little frightened of individual counseling - join a single parents group. Subjects covered include everyday ways of handling the children; strengths you have, that can change your children's behavior; normal child development and behavior; new ways of talking to your children; knowing yourself and your needs as a parent. The group meets once a week and is sponsored by the Division of Family Services. If you need further information, 486-18- 1 1 call and ask for Ann Taylor. The Division of Family Services has a unit that can help you process your request for on the job training and other types of training. This unit works closely with the Division of Rehabilitation and the Department of Employment Security whose combined efforts are responsible for the Work Incentive Program (WIN). If you are interested in knowing about 1 . the WIN program, call 486-181 Each month a limited number of invitations for 20 dinners at a local restaurant are issued to mothers on welfare and their children. If you are eligible and would care to participate, please call 486-181- 1 and place your request. This is specifically for mothers and children only and you must be receiving assistance from the Region III Division of Family Services office. |