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Show , jilCT VALENTINES. one man laugh Ey MAKE tH swear. and another ' Man Who Make Em Mr. In Them When He irrd Indulges Causes nd 100,000,000 pels Bd, Word Per Yean J tbt t ; t,. K HAVE discovered the man who makes all the comic valentines. Yes, gentle reader, it is true that one conscience has to carry the entire burden. Perhaps you do not know how heavy that burden is. Learn, then, that person to whom I have referred jwS about 900 valentine pictures them Is printed and eacl1 eviry year, Most of them are of 15,000. ja ditions in this country, but there is also .ujt6 an export trade with Europe. The j.0st popular of them run through many coitions. -- But let us suppose that each That will ef them has two editions. of a a 27,000,000 total Now, year give t. t tJ .t reflect, further, that everyone of them id designed t0 make somebody swear, 'a tad you begin to get an idea of the ter-- 1 riblft business in which this artist is cgaged. Let us suppose that 20,000,-05- 0 of. them reach their destinations, had that each individual recipient a Uv,a swears only five times. We have a totrer Li s, for which al of 100,000,000 j my friend, the artist, is directly respon- n. .4Mrio sible, every year. Suppose, further, 'I -- I. that the artist holds his job thirty-si- x "7 i and a half years, and afterwards suffrUkn ers In purgatory one day, for every ' A us piece of violent language caused by tr,!-t- . him, as computed above, he will be ' there 10,000,000 years, and I do not call it enough, writes Howard Fielding in a New of recent date. Yorkpaper These mathematical operations are fosnded upon exact facts. In thfs lettam I er to simply matter state's, trying ATi:: of news in plain words. I have known the valentine artist for is oa be harm i long time, but never suspected him L!Uo of dping anything of that kind. It was of fv-- f ar s .a as iy yesterday that I learned about it. B?, Ler.rr I went into his work shop Just as he inished a drawing. I looked over his "I 3 V Uoulder expecting to see a f J pretty ic., i;i designed for one of the magazines, .with the familiar signature, C. Howard, ms i co. nstead I saw a horrible freak wearing 1" a, ware-white apron and engaged in pouring i. i . , ? V I he might find it difficult to draw as many as 900 in a single year. A considerable number of the valentines intended for women satirixt eccentricities of fashion. This winter there is a great field for that sort of work in the prevailing style of capes. The preposterously broad and stiff shoulders with their convoluted edges turned up, make a woman look like the head of John the Baptist on a charger. Mr. Howard tells me that he has tried toj exaggerate the absurdities of this kind of cape and has failed. T cant make it look worse than it really does when I see It on the street, he said, and so I have to make up for woman indrawing a cross-eye- d itjby side the cape. The worse the face looks thbetter the valentine sells. I should think it would make a poor girl who had put all her cash into one of those capes feel pretty good to be tenderly remembered with one of these cape valentines on the 14th. I understand that they are already in great demand, which shows the state, of envious resentment among the girls who are wearing their last winters capes. Passing to mens attire, the dude in caricature of this order has changed very little in the past five or six years. Inj this connection the artist told me one of the toughest experiences that ever I heard. It appears that he once drew a particularly offensive dude valThe absolute idiocy of the entine. countenance which he put on the dude J -- ? I S 1 pie-J'u- re a its into a sausage-mil- l. That's a sweet thing, Howard, ' 'PLIES. lt, nv if). 'saa i L S- -. in-end- HaM, GnLi-a'Ache- ii ot Lee ornr ucu said Whats it for? "For a butcher, said he. It's to be a slight token of some-wfly- a regard on Feb. 14. Ive made of 17th ed Lep:st ACLES. J O. Hovst, lean P'.aj, T" V net DotL riy ies, He . , plies , 1S.A S ICE 4 THE BABOON VALENTINE, nearly a thousand of these things this ear. What do you suppose oiu' Saint alentinus, patron of the pleasant occa-;e- n, will do with me when he gets hold f me? That naturally led to a discussion of whole 9 subject. toward It appears that does not allow these drawings interfere in any way with his art He has a very tUe way of get-- 5 the time to do them. In those 'anent3 of dissatisfaction which an binary man would waste in swearing in 9 throwing a fellow creature Howard simply draws i relieves his to down-A;- rs valentines, " I was feelings perfectly. know this, for I had been at a to account for the exemplary xnild-'- 3 9 his disposition. of It would be of course, to compare so favor- a person with ourselves. We do not V-ist- , 7Ve ' THE MODERN DUDE. 14ft nothing whatever to be desired. Of course,, there were many other dude caricatures that year, but this was the most offensive by long odds. Ithap-piene- d that a young man of Mr Howards acquaintance got three valentines that year from three different cities, and every one of his unknown admirers picked out this identical valentine. What could a man think under such exceptional circumstances except that tjiere was a distinct resemblance between himself and the fellow in the picture? It must, have been deeply deI learn from Mr. Howard pressing. that this gentleman did not commit but he would have committed murder under favorable conditions. One of the most successful valentines ever sent out wras entitled The SlugIt represented a man in bed. gard. A pair of naked and gigantic feet hung qver the footboard, which was in the foreground: and the sun, with a smile of derision on his countenance, , was seen looking in! through an open window. Mr. Howard gave this to me iq a philosophical spirit as a sample of What is considered a rare joke by many thousands of persons. Perhaps the Richest thing if popular applause be the criterion in the line of comic valentines for women was a picture enIt represented titled Going to Seed, a particularly plant in a was t, flower flower-poand the red large Thouan of old maid. head the typical sands upon thousands of ,tbse were and they served, doubtless, to emSd, bitter the though ts of a corresponding number of women who ought rather to have been congratulated. While many of these valentines are used in malice, the real reason why they sell is that the people think that they are funny, heres a very deep theme, made a special duty of the What do people laugh at? An partly solved it. I have iearne myself laugh at but the re persons mentioned in Mr. Porwria census have thus far eluded me. And even in my own case the result is not constant. One day, perhaps,1 I can laugh !at one of my own jokes, and a few days later, when I run across it in a copy of 0p2rtuhity two classes, which are known tech-- 7 as the Jokers. Hlt-em-Har- ds and the By the rules of ordi--- 7 social courtesy a person may reply Long Joker with a club; but if he 5 s a ,Ilsd wo1' insulting strangers every year. We must best we can with only our fam-iP- a and friends. h appears that comic valentines are Seasive. They are divided broadly 3 -- S ,gt he takes down the &usket from the wall. -- 2 enormous sale of these things a longing of ' tIiey must ;?btrsan heart. The two sexes feel about equally. Just as many . nted for men as for women. I 1 that as an Interesting fact which '"sily escape the notice of a less indent of human nature than Just how badly you have to a before you feel impelled t -- im pictorially on the 14th of ry I ara unable to state. But a good many million who could tell from aal experience. This prac-th- e general recognition of tictic value of contrast. An must cling to the This Is You Is received on the day sacred Ilit-em-Ha- rd - c J ? P'-rs- U 1 -- peo-CSliut- ry pic-labell- ed :v MICHIGAN VILLAGE DOMINATED BY GENTLER SEX. The New Woman Reigns Supreme Now Has the School Hoard After All the, Town Offices Habile Virtue the wardJ Watch Marcellus (Mich.) Letter. HIS little village of 1,200 souls is soon to pass into the control of the new woman. The fair sex has already captured the school board, and next spring will go after the town, with' good chances for success. The village is practically run by the women, who not only control the pchool board, but are engaged in business and generally have a word to say in the conduct of the affairs of the town. In business the women compete successfully with the opThe only female underposite sex. taker in the United States lives here', and the town also; contains a female So the women of Marcellus barber. are pretty well fixed to conduct affairs, from burying the dead to shaving the living. They are master hands at their respective professions and each enjoys a lucrative patronage. The new woman movement in Marcellus first assumed form about two years ago, and it was caused- mainly by the dissatisfaction of the women over the mens management of the school board. The standard of the schools and faculties offered did not suit them. The complaints of the women were of no avail, and, becoming exasperated over the utter failure of the board to heed them, they arose and demanded a voice In the conduct of the school board affairs. The annual school board election occurred the following spring, and the women turned out in force, and, despite the efforts of the men, they succeeded in placing two of their number on the board. This victory was the starting point of the new woman movement in Marcellus. The masculine portion of the village was dazed by the audacity of the women. They are still in control of the town board, but the business is manner, transacted In a and next spring it will not be surprising to see their position filled by women, for they have announced their de- half-heart- ed hul-cld- e, app lea shed A WOMEN. : 3 rd tells me that these valen-- 1 directed to the pictorial cf same human fault or folly. :r3 confined to any othr field 1 the patronage of the shop has doubled In the last year. In fact, the new women of Marcellus are slowly and surely crowding the men Into the background. A notable incident is the ousting of the man janitor in the United Brethern church by the board of trustees, which, by the way, is almost wholly composed of women, and the appointment of a woman in hi3 place. This occurred a few months ago and the janitor, who has been declared incompetent, was unceremoniously bounced, and Miss Ella Wilcox, a pretty young girl, was given the position. The congregation admits that she la more attentive to her duties and fills the position much better than the former janitor. The Arnold hotel, the principal hotel in Marcellas, is under the management qf a woman and Is a successful business enterprise. In other branches of business in the little town the women are taking a marked interest. The two women who are directly responsible for the uprising in Marcellus MRS. ANNA WALTERS, termination to have their sex make the laws to govern the town. Since the exciting episode on the school board the Marcellus new woman has thrown off all guise and come out Her advanceboldly for! her rights. ment lias been so rapid and amazing that the men have stood silently looking on, utterly powerless to prevent the onward march. Transformation after transformation followed in rapid sucThe new woman embarked cession. in business to the consternation of the men, and, hat was more, was wonderfully successful. The men finally acknowledged themselves to be back numbers, land since then In many homes the domestic affairs have simply changed about. The women now go to lodge and attend meetings of the clubs, while the poor husbands remain at home, caring for the babies. The first to enter Into business was Mrs. Ahna Walters, wife of Undertaker Elmer Walters. Her husband has been in the undertaking business for many years. About a year ago Mr. Walters was taken ill, just at the time when business In bis line was exceedingly brisk. He was without an assistant, and was in despair. But he had not reckoned bn the ability of his wife. She boldly assumed bis position in the untaking establishment and attended to the wants of customers as well as be could himself. Usually a woman is when timid handling, or in the presence of, the dead, but not so with Mr. Walters. During her husbands long Illness Mrs. Walters was called upon time after time to visit homes where a death had occurred, and perform the last functions. Her success was great, and at last, when Mr. Walters was again able to attend to business, he found that his wife was as entirely capable of conducting it as he. Since then she has acquired the art of embalming and undertaking, and after an examination next spring, when she expects to underget a diploma as a taker, Mrs. Walters intends to form a partnership with her husband in the business. Not a whit behind Mrs. Walters in point of business ability is Mrs. Melissa Decker, wife of Barber George W. Decker. She has been a new woman for a longer period than Mrs. Walters, and like her her success has been phenomenal. She is a barber by trade, and wields the razor and shears with skill. For nine years she has found time to hold a chair regularly in her husbands shop, and she calls next! in a manner that would do credit to an old timer. Her t"rre as a barber has extended far and wide and in consequence full-fledg- THE OLD MAID AL.WAYS SEEMS WELL. I an old magazine which died before was born, it dont seem funny at all. He But Mr. Howard has gone farther. of secret has not only discovered the our of what is humor to a great class will what learned citizens, but he has and aaoth aE make one man laugh considerable triswear. I call that a umph. jotne c- -c Featherstcne Vlllie, I don't sistai valentine that I gave your that wUHe-- No; she gave it to the baby to ed Car THE LATEST KITE. TFlll fee Lift n Man Several Hundred with Safety. Various suggestions have been made for the improvement of the balloon,, says a writer in the National Review; enabling it to be efficient in windy weather, but I, determined at the outset to do away altogether with that fickle and troublesome element, gas. Aerial machines furnished with screw propellers could doubtless be made to ascend, but then, again, heavy transport would be required to carry the engines and fuel for working them. Then my thoughts soon turned to that simple n toy, the kite, end on that principle I based my new machine. Thus the wind, which Is so detrimental to ballooning now became my friend and helpmate, Yet, let me at once explain, I do not consider it an absolute necessity. As a schoolboy runs to get his kite to rise, so this aerial apparatus may be towed by running men or horses, and so caused to ascend in calm weather. After some years of experimenting with small kites of all shapes and forms, I increased the size till I made one thirty feet high. At length I arrived at a shape and adjustment of tackle that practically removed all unsteadiness and liability to capsize. That awkward appendage, the tail, was discarded, and by increasing the number of kites, steadiness and ease of manipulation were increased. And now I think the apparatus is at last approaching the practical stage. The latest machine consists of a varying number (usually four to six) of sails, of a flattened hexagonal shape, looking not unlike the square sails of a 'ship. These are connected, one behind the other, to the ground line, from which latter is suspended a basket car. A parachute is spread out above the car in case of accident. The number of kites used depends upon the strength of the wind, md thus the stronger the pressure the less is the area presented, so that the strain on the retaining ropes is always about the same. This appara tus has now been tried on a number of occasions and under many different circumstances f weather, and although, through lack of wind, or, rathef, inr, it has occasufficiency of as I should not as well lifted sionally and like, frequently mishaps,, the results of inexperience, have occurred, yet, on the whole, it has behaved very well, and has generally carried its man easily and steadily to a considerably height. I have myself been lifted over 100 feet high, and had I not been firmly held down by a rope I might have Jrisen much higher. Never once have I experienced the least uncomfortably motion. Whenj the car has been let Jup to the full extent of the rope, equivalent to, a height of some 400 feet, it has invariably floated steadily and well. The ropes and tackle 1 ave, with a few exceptions easily remedied, always stood their work well, and those seeing the apparatus for the first time have1 generally expressed surprise at its ease and steadiness. well-know- - cuss-word- 3 MARCELLUS MISS ELLA WILCOX, are Mrs. J. Cromley and Mrs. G. W. Davis. The former, who is the wife of one of the earliest settlers in the village, is over 60 years old, but in spite of her advanced age she is intensely interested in having members of her sex put on the same scale as the males. She Is really the originator of the new woman movement in Marcellus, being first to denounce the methods employed by the school board in conducting affairs. She enlisted the feminine population in her aid, and entered into a hot fight of reformation, in which. he came out victorious. Her chief aid was Mrs. Jones, who was the wife of G. W. Jones, a wealthy banker. Airs. Jones is more modest in demanding the rights of her sex, but is very energetic, but since the movement has become widespread in the village she has become one of its firm supporters. Both are members of the W. C. T. U., Mrs. Cromley being president, and both are bitter enemies of the saloons. One of the principal movements which they have planned for the coming spring is to abolish the sale of intoxicating liquors in the village, and every woman in Marcellus has pledged herself to support the movement. Three saloons are now doing business In the town and it has long been the wish of the women to put a stop to such business. Already, since the new women have come to the front, the liquor dealers have felt their influence, and when the elections take place in the spring they are fearful that the women will get the upper hand and refuse to grant' new licenses. . The campaign at the spring election will undoubtedly be a fight between the liquor dealers and the women, J with the chances in favor of the later, The bloomer idea has not yet taken much of a hold on the new women f Marcellus, though last summer bloomers made their appearance on several occasion. However, they are looked upon In a favorable light, especially by the young misses who ride the bicycle, and it is rumored that with the opening of spring an assortment of bifurcated skirts will be sprung upon the people. In all the new women of Marcellus are completely up to and, in some instances, ahead of date. They are hustlers and the pretty little village has the unusual distinction of being the only one in the United States where the new women have asserted their rights, in defiance of the wishes of the men, and maintained them at the kite-powe- j Strang: ( Tes Plapk will traucL ntirto c&Jtr ru-l-e- sT.'n'U price. elo-km- Eei an F. (tfi. ri., r- - c Tt fcdvautsjris to tba ef ts.rlilr z the publlo with U. Iran I ra ts well knorrn to neel Rit.-c- tl u. as raluable a aa tl U to the merchant. Iuw r RANGE t Lower fVrler and I 5 Elnk of Beaver. Addrecs: - Outs, Utah. V JD D3OTJ Upper silt in right, tinder slit In lft ear. Range: Cricket Mountains and Lower Sevier. - Address, Deseret, Utah. r -- w 1 0 Under slit 1 under sill right, In left ear. Range: CrUksl Mountains Lower Sevier. - Address, - nl Deseret, Utah, Join Y Suit!; Horse Grower and Deals a RANGE: Houm Mountain and Loer Verier. Oasis, Utah Address, wera Br;j Breeders tad dealers in Short horn Durhams. Horses brand 5n left thigh. Cattla Upper slops In seen ear. Kaago rlveo and raonDtaiaa, between Alike station on the U. P. lty and Leamington. Address, Leamington, Millard O., Utah. its r Parler Alirt d Ilorses same brand on left tblgh. Cattle close crop In left and slit In rigat ear. Range, Sevier. Lower Address, Utah. Dea-eie- t, J iilow Eprlngn Address, F. J. Eqt: Fisk Springs, Jnab Conni 1 G T cm left thigh; double swnilww fork in left ear. Range, Lower Cm vies. Addrecs Phases. It is rumored that bicycles are to take on strange phases. In England a front driving wheel of low stature is much in use. It Is really a descendant of the high bicycle; as it discards the chain and uses, as did that big affair, the front r n jeirij j wheel for both driving and steering. Its admirers claim many advantages for it, its chief one being its very light inch machine; weight. A twenty-on- e n to Inch a frame, with geared full roadster equipments, does not pounds. weigh moreHhan twenty-thre- e The n6w whel is easier to learn to ride, it is claimed, than the rear driver, though persons accustomed to that would find the change awkward at first.1 Although the wheels are so much smaller than those of the ordinary safe-- j ty, Ibe vibration is said to he less perceptible. Another advantage claimed Is the small, compact gear, which does away with the usual gear case and never needs any attention. Altogether, the development of this new wheel will be watched with interest. Exchange. loam. J U1mU J Oai-- i, I'-wk- 1 a. ILdtrd O. Utah. , slit I two iUn rfg.tcTand to ear. brand fans loft on en koras tvovir P. N, Petersen, Address, Oaal U'tih, Range, Low or Be Tier. fifty-seve- Earn left ea Horses. thigV Upper slope end one under 01 tn left ear. and two nnder slits in oar. RAltail ri-f- cL Crook. Sims Walker Address, Oak CSty, Utah. O. MARTIN, S. SALT LAKE, ; 11 Renans Library. Dealer lm French papers announce the offer for lisale ot the library of Renan. The polls. The movement was started at an op- brary is divided into two parts, the first FRUITS, VEGETABLES, BUTTER, Eggs, Poultry, Game, Yeal Pork mat portune time, under favorable circum- including the oriental library; to whose Renan collection attention, great paid Besf, Smoked end Fresh Fisk, and doubt is that little there stances, on books Flour, Hey mud Grain. the philology and containing and history of the oriental languages. It will pay you to ship yomr good to o. I The second part contains books on gen- ckarg 10 per eent. for handling and remit a a goods are sold. Can give Cxt-la-s eral philology, classical studies, the soon eoumtxar referenoes if desired. - middle ages, etc. Renan himself expressed a desire that the library. dis-In case it sliofili be sdld, should he posed of in a block, or at least the books in the oriental : part be kept together. i , MRS. G. DAVIS. iwill Marcellus thrive and grow with such enterprising women at its helm. Hot Roll for Breakfast. NOTES OF THE DAY. W. G. M STEWARD, ASSAYim, J White ro)es seem to be going out in Paris. Every wedding gown now ordered is of pale pink or rose color. Airs. Talcott, of West Hartford, Conn., celebrated her one hundred and fifth birthday last Christmas day. The 'microbe of measles Is alleged to have been discovered. He is described as a somewhat slender bacillus. The Gutenburg bible in the Brinley collection in London cost a sum equa!l to $10,000 in United States currency. The herd of buffalos in Austin Corbins game preserve on Croydon mounumbers tain, New Hampshire, now orncxi . 59 W. 2nd, South, SALT LAKE CITY P. O. BOX 440, Hxnd Sampled Iron Afiity Copper Axsay ............ . Botjle Sampled ' i .(1.00 1. 00 1.00 ........... 3. CO ; An enterprising baker has introduced a new feature into the home life of a certain class of people of New York. fifty. He has fitted up several covered wagons The tenure of land in Russia Is of with oil stoves and ovens. These wag- three classes, viz., that of the crown, ons make the rounds every morning that of the, communes, and that cf priof the uptown districts in which the vate landed proprietor?, the latter only cheaper flats are located and supply the tenants with hot coffee and hot rolls for being mortgaged. Depositors in French postoffice savbreakfast. For regular patrons who deInings banks in 1894 were 2,280,061, an desire It the wagons call at certain stipu crease The of 200,000 for the year. lated hours. The scheme has proved s. to 69,000,000 francs, an amounted posits great convenience for small families Increase of 62,000,000 francs. A queer outbreak of British prudery is that of the Court Journal, n which to give Very high flaring colars are worn this thinks it indelicate gives nmf's to mares, as it book winter, framing the face and head, and women'1! the in he to FigLrFtivpaerc protecting them to an unusual extent. who do not keep servants and are satisfied with a light breakfast. n i Frank D.. Hobbs, (Late h g'.tter U. S. laud Office.) Land and Mining Attorney. Twenty-thre- e Correeponaence solicited. years experience. SALT I.AKK CITY, UTAH. BIRD & LOWE, -- Land tgonls & Attorneys. s - - ...... well-know- I SALT LAKE CTY. UTAH., |