Show MS 1 1 QUITE ELIGIBLE A big burly looking fellow a per balked into the office ot of a prominent accident insurance company the other day da and applied for a I 1 policy certainly said the secretary are you engaged in any hazardous busl bust nessa as not in the least replied the aepli cant 0 does your b is ness make it feces sary for you to handle loaded firearms or 01 weapons of any kinda no bir tir NN would your business ever require you ou to be where there were excited crowd crowds for instance at a ilot or a fire kery ery seldom Is your business such as to render you liable to injury from tra tram mears cars of or runaway no sir does your business throw you in contact with the criminal classes a 9 very rarely indeed sir I 1 think that you are eligible what is our business 9 I 1 am a policeman way to choose a husband women should choose husbands as they do their gowns sas says the oracia lar nixola greeley smith which reminds us that a young lady in our neighborhood was heard to say that she wants a husband full of bus tie chicago journal WHAT frightened HIM I 1 I 1 1 I 41 polly Wo a the matter with you jamesa you look as it if some thing had frightened you james you boull 11 get a fright too when you turn your head round and see your mother then he melted away count hickoff you refuse me ze one kiss why at newport I 1 was miss tabasco I 1 thought 1 perhaps were galvanized count hickoff Ilic koff galvanized 9 how extraordinary you do speak WAY miss tabasco because you have such a hard cheek chicago dally daily news OF COURSE CP 40 al bill that lady got that thing on her head for and them shoes on er feet milly wy yo silly to keep her head and feet dry 0 course A S 8 agn wh ch fa led young husband seems to me my dear this chicken is pretty tough young wife e I 1 know it Is and I 1 cant understand it at all I 1 picked it out myself did you egami examine n e it 9 indeed I 1 did I 1 looked in its mouth the first thing and I 1 could see it hadn haan t even cut its first teeth yet N Y weekly ng for the tire future so you want more said the warden ot of the penitentiary that a what I 1 do answered the cook this talk of trust magnates is getting me more nervous ever every y day if I 1 ve got to learn to cook terrapin and lobster a la newberg I 1 want more pay and what s more I 1 want to be called a chef wash ington star linguistics N tie language of but vegetables flowers and other things have a language too la Sour lre from start to F n h be in ne he implored certainly she replied and so go they mere married and beware he cr er ed 01 fudge sl at e explain ed 80 tl ey vere d voiced and lived happ ly ever after cl icaco da ly ne a WORSE THAN AUTOS tar j Z mermaid Nier maid what in the world lg 10 the mattera you look like you had been up against a bucksaw neptune ye confound it sirlee those motor boats are flying around here no one Is safe chicago dally daily news adv ce to marred marr ed men although Althou Altho gl dour our alte lie Is far from here behave as trough tl ough S e still were vi ere near detro t free press 1 had wrecked the machine owner of motor car to cha chauffeur have you a recommendation from your last employer 9 chauffeur no sir air but I 1 can get one in the course of a month or so owner of motor car why the delay chauffeur Chau Heur hes he s in hospital NO LIE poker figures never he lie gamme gamine no but they re sometimes placed in mighty awkward by the people who do I 1 explained say dad what does uppity meana the same as persnickety my son well what does persnickety meana the same as run along now milwaukee sentinel STUDIES IN SENSE nl R lifey A man Is the most sensible of all animals is he not nota hubby certainly lifey then I 1 wonder why he wear a loose comfortable collar like a dog dogs s A con Cons considerate ideate man john yes sir be sure to tell me when it is four 0 clock yes sir don t forget it I 1 promised to meet my alf at 2 30 in the drug store across the street and she 11 be b pro yoked it if I 1 ni not there when she comes judge reported verbatim oh the poor dear little thing I 1 feel so sorry for him just look how he squirms isn t it a shamed how can you SCY sv that he in no brothers and sisters this Is not a womanly protest against cruelty to children but just a stenographic re port of what she said while her bus band was baiting batting a fish hook detroit free press cause for gr evance lawyer A fair client of mine wants to sue old Bucks Ducks tor for breach of promise judge what grounds has she lawyer A fortune teller prophesied that he d marry her and he chasn t done it cleveland leader |