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Show Tynny ni iii finnan,) i mf nr" nwnunyi . "rmrinyirTr njL'ir wt' " T porno ora up ni im p yri,,"'jTlf1lf-1,,r'r"- i' 'If ,' Q Sun Advocate the wives of the Fabulous Dwarfettes Democratic presidential aspirants recently tried to first ladies forum in husband support in a first-evfront-runnfor first lady emerged, Iowa. No however. The wives may even have compounded the seven dwarfs image problem of their husbands, as most of what they said was pretty humdrum stuff. But in a break from the routine, Jeanne Simon said she would label in favor of ombudsdo away with the first-lad- y woman for the American people. In another break Jill Biden said she would from the routine, continue to teach high school as first lady. The other potential first ladies Kitty Dukakis, Jane Gephardt, Mary Elizabeth Gore and Hattie were Babbitt (Jacqueline Jackson was absent) echoes of one another. Americans seem to have about as much trouble deciding what they expect from first ladies as they do from vice presidents. Do we want activists in the Eleanor Roosevelt mold or adoring gazers in the Pat Nixon mold? Or do we want a combination of the two in the Nancy Reagan mold? . Perhaps the best way to deal with this problem is to do away with the need for first ladies forums by electing a please, before the idea catches on unlike first The first aspiring man, lady president. first ladies burdened by precedent, would be free to blaze his own trail. GULP The er PRIMER: er Upset about an NBC documentary that unfavorably portrayed Israeli treatment of Arabs, Israels top leaders have announced that they will not grant any interviews to NBC reporters. Such a policy is both immature and nonsensical. The documentary, Six Days Plus 20 Years: A Dream Is Dying, was aired this summer and examined the lives of residents of the West Bank and Jerusalem. It included shots of Israeli troops beating Arabs and painted a generally uncomplimentary picture of Israeli rule . The Israeli government called the show violently and one of the most blatantly distorted and tendentious programs ever broadcast on the Middle East. It also complained that no officials were interviewed, thus ignoring the governments viewpoint. So, in revenge, Israeli leaders will not talk T to NBC. ''I , to ones no is to the press way tejj Refusing to talk side of the story, though. Perhaps the documentary did not go far enough in showing the positive aspects of Israeli rule. But the problems shown do exist and provide an alternative view to the official government line. If Prime Minister Yitzhak Shamir and other Israeli leaders truly believe that NBC has misrepresented the Arab situation, they should speak out. They should on NBC, where the point out the inaccuracies to give viewers shown original documentary was the truth as they see it. Giving NBC the silent treatment does nothing for the governments cause; rather, it simply makes a martyr of NBC, and gives more weight to the viewpoint expressed in the documentary. anti-Israe- li Out of the nest and across the nation who needs three pillows to see over his planes instrument panel has become the youngest Christopher person to pilot a plane fourth-grad- er set the point? Because pilots must be 16 to fly solo, each youth was accompanied by an adult instructor who could have taken over in case of an emergency. Thus, neither child had ultimate control of his plane. Children usually dont dream up such outlandish ideas by themselves. In Marshalls case, the impulse came from his father, an airline pilot. Its natural that parents want their children to excel and achieve. Still, theres a limit. We mourn the lost childhoods of the youngsters who are prematurely pushed by their parents into daring exploits and grown-u- p activities, whether its piloting a plane or entering a beauty pageant. Since children often are egged on by adults, its not surprising that other adults who should know better encourage this extreme behavior by rewarding it with rides in parades, keys to cities and by naming days in honor of pint-size- d pilots. One of these young pilots wants to become an astronaut. The other wants to fly around the world next. We dont want to dampen their adventuresome, spirit, but we question the wisdom of youngsters engaging in risky ventures worthy of inclusion in the Guinness Book of World Records. Are we as a nation too obsessed with setting records, being No. 1? Are some parents unwilling to let their childrens biological clocks tick away at a we recall a from thrill a reading Thirty generation that got about Amelia book or a Seconds Over Tokyo fourth-grademight enjoy those Earhart. Todays if their parents would let them. same experiences At the risk of sounding rs L a UNDERSTANDING OF THIS MIDEAST our fiercest enenn FLASHPOINT in the REGION, IPN1 SEES THE US. AS THE GREAT SATAN? THIS IS THE COUNTS TO WHICH WE SOLD large shipments OF ARMS. THE SPEAKER OF IRAN'S PARLIAMENT, HE IS BETTER KNOWN AS OUR "MODERATE" CONTACT IN THE IRAN ARMS DEAL. eiWISkHCDMOtlMM anawfHsv&a mmj THE COUNTRY WHOSE THERE NOW, TANKERS WERE ESCORTING THROUGH PERILOUS GULF WATERS. YES, IT'S THE SAME KUWAIT THAT REFUSES LANDING RIGHTS TO OUR EMBROILED IN A SEVBEAR V1AR WITH IRAN, IRAQ IS OUR "FRIEND'.' VOU REMEMBER THE IRAQIS... THE GUYS WHO UNDERSTAND? AIRCRAFT. chucks waggin9 Adultery was fun reporting guest in the house. By CHUCK ZEHNDER Managing editor Adultery was a favorite subject for the Eastern Utah Advocate in 1902, as evidenced by the story in the May 1 issue headlined GAVE UP MONEY FOR HIS BRIDE. Women Worth Seventy Dollars a Head H Among the Slavs at Scofield The Slavonian conception of American liberty is nicely illustrated in the troubles of Lawrence Bronisz, which were partially aired in Judge Bowmans court at Winter Quarters last week, the editor began. According to the story, Bronisz married Josie Maskel, a handsome and voluptuous dame a few weeks prior. But to do so, Bronisz agreed to pay $70 to Josies brother for a quit claim to her. After agreeing to the $70 fee, Bronisz received a marriage license from Donaldson at the court house and then got a priest to do the wedding. The story indicated that Josie was very good at making her new husband happy and keeping him gratified and contented. But there was a most hideous rattler also in his boarding house. According to the newspaper, Bronisz came off his shift at 11 p.m. But the wedding was already in trouble because of the other The connubial knot which had been pulled and tugged at by the most holy father and Cupid Donaldson, was daily and nightly picked during the absence at work of Bronisz by one Fred Miller, a Slav, who could find rest only on the heaving and billowy bosom of Josie, the article said. Inflamed with his unholy passions and annoyed by the inconvenience of shifting bunks at the unseemly hour when Bronisz would be due, Miller... loaded the worn and jaded conquerer of hearts and other organs into a Southern Pacific coal car and with a brace of sixshooters escorted his charge to Zion (Salt Lake City). The story went on and said that Bronisz went to Salt Lake City to try and talk Josie into returning to Winter Quarters with him but she said no, that she was in America and freedom allowed her to take another man if she wanted one. When Bronisz returned heartbroken to his deserted home at Winter Quarters and stepped off the train at Scofield, he was served wth a summons demanding the $70 claimed by Josies brother for having procured her to wed him. Judge Bowman dismissed the case and issued arrest warrants for Josie and Miller on charges of adultery. Sheriff Wilcox (went to Salt Lake City), found the pair and brought them to Scofield where a hearing on the case of Miller, under his true name of Joe Chika, was had, his being bound over in the sum of a thousand plunks which he couldnt furnish and is now in jail in Price. Josie has reformed. At the sight of the tear stained countenance of her husband she began to cry and while each were blubbering it was suggested that they kiss and call it all off. They moved together in the court room and the rib and corset smashing as well as the sobs and kisses made a scene rarely witnessed, the paper reported. The story said that Chika opened his grip and handed Wilcox a set of ladies underwear, which he requested should be delivered to Josie, as the articles were hers. County Attorney Hanford is said to have broke down and wept when the emotional scene was enacted betwixt the erring wife and the wronged husband. A Welshman onlooker, who didnt know Hanford, expressed a vast amount of sympathy for the attorney, mistaking him for the adulterer, the story concluded. Ah, the days of real journalism. mike royko st. Lee Marshall, 10, beat the record of an in July. That might sound laudable. But what is normal pace? A GUIDE TO BETTER ALMOST SANK THE STARK.. Childish treatment coast-to-coa- RAFSANJAN1 A PERSIAN Ombudswoman? A Tuaadav. Auaust 11. 1987 California 'trend' strictly a misfire When some weird new social behavior breaks out in California, theres always the terrible possibility that it could become a national trend. So now we have to wait to see if motorists across America begin shooting at each other as they have recently been doing on the famed freeways of Southern California. My guess is that this is strictly a local fad and wont spread across the nation the way, say, health foods and body worship have. The reason it wont happen can be found in the simple response of Willie Sutton, the famous bank robber, when he was asked why he robbed banks. Because thats He said: where the money is. If you think of it that way, it makes sense for Californians to shoot at each other on freeways because thats where they are. They dont shoot each other on subways or on the street, as New Yorkers do. They dont have subways and they seldom walk, except from the doorway to the driveway. Nor do they shoot each other in taverns, since they dont gather in taverns the way we do in Chicago. And maybe theyre afraid that they might wound an innocent fern. So they really dont have much choice. The only time they have any true communal togetherness in that part of the country is when they gather on their freeways. The law of averages says that if you have millions of people driving on crowded highways, and a certain number of them have guns, and a certain percentage of those with guns are a little nuts, its inevitable that a few of them will take a shot at a stranger. Just human nature, I guess. It happens that recently the number of pointless shootings was a little higher than normal. Why? Who knows? Maybe it is the position of the moon or just something to kick the summer doldrums. Or it might be that the law of averages is compensating for a dip in the number of shootings last summer. Whatever the causes are, the few extra shootings soon at- tracted the attention of Californias press. And it promptly declared that there was widespread behavior. It murder-madness-man- ia of on reflects the new hopelessness of the American spirit ... no, it is a physiological reaction to the additives in the freeways. This has led strangers caught in traffic jams to stare in terror at each other. And that just increases the hysteria, since people who are terrified really look goofy. Just go to a mirror and pretend to look terrified. See what I mean? So now you have hundreds of thousands of terrified California motorists looking at each other and gasping: Holy cow, that guy looks homicidal ... and he is staring right at me. Whatll I do? And the other guy stares back and is thinking: Oh, my God, look at the fiendish guy and hes staring at me. Help! We could achieve a similar reaction in Chicago if, say, the newspapers decided to fill their front pages with bloodcurdling stories of routine shootings, and knifings, in taverns. If we did that, soon the nation would be talking about the in Chicagos gs shin-kickin- murder-madness-man- gs ia taverns and wed all be frightened into sobriety. And wed have shrinks tossing about theories, as they are in California, for this new outburst anti-soci- al mass-produc- ed beer. Or we could do it with domestic disputes, which are and headlines common, screaming: Another Husband Stabs Wife or Hubby Scalded with Pasta Water by Wife. the Further evidence, of the experts would say, disintegration of the nuclear family ... no, it is the influence codes of of the new anti-violen- ce to seek other outlets. In other words, if you lump enough isolated but similar events together, you can create the illusion of a trend. in a week or so But watch the freeway in California will be over, replaced by something new. And what will that be? Well, theyre all so scared of each other, that they will probably hyperventilate, get dizzy and see spots before their eyes. So the next batch of headlines will say: Dozens more stricken California by mysterious Freeways Disease. TV forcing hostilities murder-madness-man- ia |