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Show DAILY Wednesday, September 14, 2005 HERALD Happybirthday, Marriage makesa difference in legal matters now pay up purpose of marriage? -- Anonymous Asap Ee Desir aeee ——A 4 1/2 years and living together for two. We have a wonder loving relationship that has progressed ata very natural pace for bothof us. Lately, though, I've been wanting to et married, while he doesn't EAR MISS MANNERS -Iama bit put off yet confused about how to address the lack of fairness in birthday lunches at a company I've worked at for a year. I'd been there three months when my birthday loomed, and semen oy your boyfriend, and if he really believes you're property, who qualifies as family, who speaks for you when you get hit by a bus and can't speak for yourself. Before you feel any great urgency. He does want to get married someday, but he doesn't feel ourrelationship is missing anything by notdoing it now. Recently we were debating Carolyn Hax Tell Me About It the topic, and he argued that in a relationshiplike ours, where welive as a married couple and havethe samelove new co-worker's birthdays. It was a $7 buffet and we birthdaygirls bought our own lunches,despite it being someone else’s invitation. A few weeks later,it was another, more-tenured teammate's birthday. It was proposed that wegoto an expensive (on my salary) restaurant for dinner; I stayed for a drink and departed, and got the impression that my co-workerssplit the cost of his drinks and meal. Twoweeks later, there was another birthday lunch that cost quite a bit more than my birthday buffet, and when the Judith Martin Miss Manners posed to be your own, and you should be able to opt out of the | whole silly business. Make a lunch date on your birthday with some non-office friend who would enjoy being with you, and excuse yourself from others’ luncheons with previous engagements, errands to do or working at your desk. If this bringscriticism, it will bill came, the supervisor announced that we were paying for the birthdaygirl (again, visor). Obviously, this isn't fair, nor do I have money to regularly contribute to everyone's birth- day lunches,yet the trend selectively continues. My birthdayis in two andhalf months. If faced with paying for my ownbirthdaylunch again, do I laughingly point out that I paid for others’? Or do I keep quiet and fork over my money? GENTLE READER - Or do you ask your motherto talk to the teacher about making sure DEAR Miss MANNERS-1 havebeen asked to prepare an obituary for a terminally ill friend who has been divorced and remarried. Let’s say her maiden name was Jane Smith. Herfirst married name was Jane Jones. Her present married nameis Jane Long. In the proposed obituary should she be Jane Smith Long, Jane Smith Jones Long or Jane Jones Long? celebration,not forgetting to makea provision for those whose birthdays happen to fall whichI agree with. Thefirst part I didn't agreewith, yetI didn't have any cogent argumentfor my view besides, “That's just whattwo people do when they love each other and want to spendtherestof their lives together." So I've been cally, he and I don't need to get married except for some legal and monetary reasons, but nobody is completely logical. Peoplein ourposition get married becauseit has some sort of sentimental significancethatcan't logically be explained. Whatdo you think aboutthesignificance and reasons. your employers’ policies and ica and federal pgs Revisit Terri Schiavo. Plus, marriageis our society''s way of expressing life commitment.If you aren't gameto buck society, then you aren't. That's Si aed Somet! else a gayfrie! can tell youThe sole fac of being denied something can make it significant. He'sessentially telling you that his rationale carries more weight than your feelings. Ow. Maybe you'll never agree on this, but there areless dismis- k marrying yaforthe es tan make you ither this hasn't occurred to him, in which case he should’ be happy to marry you — or he wouldn't be happy to marry Wostocause be bate lextinate, as-yet-unspoken reason for saying no. He owes it to you to speakevenif it isn't a cogent or logical reason, but instead an emotional one. fear of “Tell Me AboutIt": telimetat platended clo The WashingtonPost, avedks to disagree. Style Plus, 1150 15th St., NW,Washington, D.C. hadthe neat (and let's call it Carolyn eachFriday at unintended, give him the benefit of the doubt)effect of forcing washingtonpost.com. Not only that — his "logic" 20071. Chatonline with noonEastern time, at www. Miss Mannersapologizes for seeming harsh, but such problems as you describe exist exactly because the office birthday party is a ridiculous concept. There may be some who havetenderfeelings to- commemoration thereof,it pres- your accountof others’ cel- For blameless table manners, send a long, self-addressed, stamped envelopeand $2 to’ Newsletter, a3aoe16 167, ebrations — it has becomejust Wickliffe, O) you'll receivea MiseMennere The Etiquette of Proper Eating.” Feeling incorrect? pseudo-socializing on the job, and an expensiveoneatthat. In the absence of emotional ties, it should not surprise you E-mail your etiquette questions to Miss Manners (whois distraught that she cannot reply personally) at that high-ranking people get better treatment than lowerranking ones. But your lunch hour is sup- com. Sneakers Continued from B1 the 31-year-old from Detroit. During the day, he’s an associ- ate directorat Detroit's WDIVTV (Channel4). Helovesthelook, the design, the colors, the commercials, the celebrity endorsements, even the smell. “There are sneakersI still smell that I’ve never worn,” he says. A few years ago, he spent six months training himself to recognize shoe models bytheir scent, but “never really got it down.” WhenHall hangsout with his friends, the conversation alwaysturns to shoes.His belt has silver buckle that reads “MWKC” — Midwest Kick Collectors, his sneaker-loving This loose groupoffriends includes Detroiters Jay Wilkins, 34, and Donavan Allen,25. Wilkins, whooccasionally DJs, owns 60 pairs that he says are worthatleast $3,000. But $1,800.It’s worth so muchbecause only 200 pairs exist. Allen worksat the Detroit Science Center andis the “selfcrowned king of discount,” he says. Of his 75 pairs, he’s gotten most for less than $30. He loves vintage sneakers, which, in an industry so young, can mean a pair is just 10 years old. He says he spends “endless hours” online looking for shoes. That’s howhe scored an original, unwornpair of 1982 Nike Dashers. Theprice? $17. He got his 1987 Nike Delta Forces the same way. They were $28, The seller “had no clue what they were,” he says about get- ting vintage kicks so cheap.If he sold the shoes now, “they could go for anything,” Allen says, Hall says he has seen pairs like these selling for up to $30 online. These three don’t just buy for themselves,but look out for eachother. “We're looking at our own sizes, we're looking at our friends’sizes,” says Allen, who will immediately call his buddies as he andhis friends point out, a shoe is worth as much as somebody will payforit. One of his best pairsis the Nike Paris at ever-increasing speed. Can As amusing as it is to celebrity ward the honoree (and nothing stops them from havingtheir private parties). But for the rest — you among them,from another impersonal form of Twenty-five Hot Topics in Science t is a cruel fact of modern life. We get older and progressively less facile in absorbing newdata, but scientific advances are rushing toward us Long, nee Smith, and the obituary would probably include the fact that her marriage to Mr.Jones ended in divorce. reporters to string together surnames for much-married moviestars, a lady who changes her surname changes it, however many times. She does not makea collection of surnames. during vacation time? if he finds a connectionto score the latest release.“It’s all about networking.” Since he seriously took upcollecting in 1998, Allen has known whereto find the te La MeNaid ty La separatefrom civil marriage, wefind waysfor older minds to absorb knowledgeandprocess it more quickly? The October issue of Discover magazinehas just arrived in the mail; the magazine is celebrating its 25th anniversary. In GENTLE READER- She is Jane everyonegetsa fair birthday shoe that he says could go for | riageis really just a societal construct that has norec significance for us. He does feelreligious marriage would have significance, buttotally thinking aboutit since then and cometo this conclusion: Nowadays, with marriage not practically essential for two people to share their lives,it's just something that humans need and putsignificance on because they're human. Logi- decide what marriage means to you, be sure about the scope of those legal and monetary together whether you're married or nat, thentee8 Datta, be timefor you to enlist others in anate policy freeing lunchtime more tenured but not a super- Dunk, a 2004 skateboarding and commitment,civil mar- you to put your beliefs under hos gies, whee biegot to st there unchallenged. CenaSacien CCeae ce Ect a LOWEST PRICES GUARANTEED! R.C. WILLEY SELLS MORE ADJUSTABLE BEDS THAN ALL OUR COMPETITORS COMBINED! FURNITURE ELECTRONICS APPLIANCES FLOORING ‘Store Hours: Monday Soturday 100m10pm ~ Closed Sundays ‘South Salt Lake Orem 461-3800 67400 261-6800 227-8800 ents a 50-page guide to ey new scientific advances in the years immediately ahead. This takes the form of a tw« summary of current kn¢ edgeof25 cutting-edgetopics, with excellent graphics and an interview with one of the top researchersin eachfield. It’s fascinating stuff. Hereare the 25 topics, some DuaneJeffery Science & Society to processing,every y! informational contenttof1304000 Libraries of Congress. So —check the essayto get a tiny taste of how researchers are hoping to reduce these masses of datato useful relationships. Another essay explores the world of extra-solar planets (planetsorbiting stars other than our own sun). In particular we'dlike to find one like Earth, small enoughto be a rocky or solid orb,orbiting its star at a distance possibly conducive to life, and with a massive outer planet such as Jupiter to protect, by its gravitational field, the Earth-like planet from collisions with asteroids. The essay under Sex deals really with differences in brain structure andintelligence patterns between males and ogy, and Longevity. Data? What's with that? Consider that modern research techniques generate unfathomable amountsofdata,for instance the 3 billion “nucleotides” that make up eachbasicset of human DNA.But in the physical females,pointing out that the Xchromosome seems to carry an of which we maynot haverealsciences it is even more daunting. inordinate numberof genes that ‘The new Large Hadron Colaffect brain function. Bad verlider, a machineto study subsions of those genes mean that Nutrition, Geophysics, The ifest much higher Brain, Microelectronics, Human atomicparticles, samples collisions between those particles. amountsof mental dysfunction Origins, Sex, Space Travel, Infectious Diseases, Science Edu- The detector andits researchers than do females.(That’s apcation, Data, Archaeology, Ma- will sample only one-fourth of parently common knowledge one percent ofthose collisions. terials, Gravity, Nanotechnolamong women,but this essay ogy, eee Genomics, That is a mere2,000 petabytes aesome good data to back ofi perytyear. But t! ) ee BlackePaleontol2,000 petabytes is equivalent ‘Adult female brains average rarest and newest shoes with connections to Websellers and Detroit businesses. Andit’s not limited to that. Hall has goneto Chicago, Toronto, Los Angeles and San Francisco specifically to look for shoes. In comparison, Detroit’s shoe marketis small, he says. But it's not uncommon to hop the border to Windsor, On- tario — stores there get special Canadian releases. When he’s looking for a shoe, he usually visits about 15 stores. He won't say which, though; if he did he wouldn't be able to find the hottest shoes anymore — they'dall sell out. Collecting “at times can be an addiction,” Hall says. Three years ago, the height ofhis obsession, he spent up to $400 a week on shoes.“I would literally get my paycheck, go cashit on mylunch break, run to Eastland Mall, and buy some- thing beforeI had to be back Hot collectibles Nike Dunk High SB (Lucky Edition), a.k.a. Lucky Dunks Release: April ‘04, $125 Current value: $700 Rarity: 777 pairs made Description: Gold-colored leather and tan suede, green No.7 on front sides. Nike Dunk Low Pro SB Paris, a.k.a. Paris Dunk Release: Fall ‘04, $125 Current value: $1,800. Rarity: 200 ae made pairs of New Balance. Shoe store ownerCarroll says collectors generally focus on Nikes. The company targets them with technologically advanced, limited edition and well-marketed shoes, she says. The corporation has capitalized uponcelebrity endorsements andrereleases ofretrostyles. Andit doesn’t hurt that collectors are brandloyal. The NBAfined MichaelJor- percent gray matter(in simpler terms,actual nervecells) while male brains are only 50.8 per- cent gray matter. If my mathis correct,this gives males about 0.77 ounce advantage. But what does it mean? As males age between 6 and 17 years, they undergoa 19 percent decrease in gray matter; females lose only 4.7 percent. But males develop morewhite matter ("insulation” around the graystuff) and a greater increase in the corpus callosum, the tracts connecting between the two halves ofthe brain. This essay has a batch of other dataalso, enough to keep males and females debating about which qualities are betabout which sex has the “superior” system. Better to view them as complement: ary. But amidall the essays,I foundnothing to solve my beginning conundrum: How can weincrease the powerof older heads to absorball this stuff? DuaneJeffery is a professor of zoology at Brigham Young Univeristy dan upto $5,000 a game when hefirst started wearing the red andblack NikeAir Jordans in 1985. Today,there are 20different models of the shoe and a handful of modernrereleases.Originals Air Jordan Ones can fetch $1,000 online. The Midwest Kick Collectors don’t re-sell their shoes, but Hall knowswhathe'll do when the game ends. “When decide thatit’s all over,I'm just going to post themall on eBay,”he says. With the money,“I'll put a down payment on a Mercedes.” Adidas Superstar 35th Anniversary Consortium Series, a.k.a, Superstar, shell toe Release:Jan. ‘05, $200-§300 Current value: $600-$1,eo at wwwpickyourshoes.cor Rarity: 300-700 pairs ‘ae depending on specific model Description; Re-releases of the 1970 model popularized in the Run-DMC song “My Adidas.” Reebok Ice Cream Low, aka. Ice Cream Retail release: ‘04, $200 Current value: $299.99 at www. voncored Nike Heineken Dunk SB, a.k.a. Heineken Release: April ‘03. $125, Current value: $700 Description: bill signs, drawings of diamonds and Rarity: About 700 pairs made from lunch,” he says. Hecollects Nikes almost exclusively now,as dohis friends. Buthestarted out buying _ Adidas. Andhe still owns some 44.0 ounces, we'retold, while male brains average49.5 ounces. But female brains are 55.4 Description: Color Shere similar to that of a Heineken bottle,with a red star on back sides, ice cream cones. Endorsed producer feWilliams Neptunes and N.E.R.D. music RICHARD LEE/Detroit Free Press Above: Nike Heineken DunkSB.Colorsche: t a Heinekenbottle, with a red star on back Me one Left: Nike Dunk High SB. Secnied leather and tan suede, aN No. 7on alllWallyMoo is moving aalty a New Day & Time! 3 Full hours every Saturday jon to 3pm WAS TAR AM 1400 Don’t forget you can still listen to HWW weekdays at Sam on www.GrapevineRadio.com - Click on ‘Listen Now Nowyou can listen the Whole Week! front sides. Only 777 pairs fot made and has current value of $700. RICHARD LEE/Detroit Free Press |