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Show TEMPLAR TRUMPET, JANUARY 14, 1999 PAGE 10 Chronicles of the Paranormal By: Agents Brodels & Burd With only 351 days ourselves in a war zone. Bullets bullited, men dropped, missiles flew high; ah. the joys of a world war. Since the Western Front was not quiet we then he rudely hung up. We called up our good pal Bill Gates and left until the next millennium, Y2K is a serious topic of TERROR! Just imagine the world jumped into a grenade hole without any computers. What do you see? We saw WWIII. We decided to go into the future and see if our prediction was correct, and see if there was anything we could do to change the outcome. The time machine was in good shape and ready to be used. We set the date to 020100, and were off. When the two of us hopped out of the time we machine found Continued from page and took cover. Inside the hole there was a dying man. We asked him what was going on, and why it was. He said that the world declared war on America, since America was the only country with enough supplies to take care of themselves. He said that the world went into a Great Depression after Y2K stopped all the computers and America was the only place that stopped Y2K in time. This asked him what Microsoft was doing to He Y2K. stop us assured optimistically that everything would be alright. Why was he so happy? From the local M.H.S computer lab we decided to visit the Microsoft web-site. doing When there, we found a very small icon. Being curious Brodels clicked it Wabam! CHACHING! Bang Bang Boom. What do we have here. It seems Y2K is a conspiracy theory. Bill every thing they could. Gates thought up Y2K top was very disturbing. What could we do to stop Y2K. we knew we only had 351 days before WWIII crawled Governor Leavitt on the red phone and told him of our problem. He said the We back to the time machine and flushed back to our time. When the two of us got back started. We was State called scare everybody into buying Microsofts Software Program. We contacted Mr. Gates and told him of our discovery. He said we would never have to work again the rest of our lives if we didn't say a word to anybody. Gratefully we accepted and said nothing more of Y2K. So go ahead Anti-Y2- buy the Anti-Y2- K. K Software Program and it will save you. Meanwhile on our private yacht we couldnt help but laugh at those stupid people that worry about Y2K. Humans invented computers how can they not fix this acute ? problem 1 Y2K - The Year 2000 Computer Crisis planes in the air? What happens when nuclear power plants go berserk? It isnt a very pretty water, but close. If phones stop offering dial tones, there will no picture. communicate information. Third, transportation. Not only aircraft and air traffic regulation, but railroads and Not ev erything in the above paragraph has to happen, though. The Y2K crisis is inevitable, yes. It will happen, that much we know. The magnitude of the crisis, on the other hand, is not inevitable. It could be a small bump in the road" so to speak, or it could calamity of gargantuan proportions. According to Senator Robert Bennett, Chairman of the Senate Special Committee on the Y2K be a Technology Problem, there are several main areas of concern that, if taken care of, will minimize the adverse effects of the year 2000. First and foremost, utilities. Every water purification plant in the country is computer operated. Power is of prime importance, as well. It doesnt matter how many other computers are Y2K compliant if power plants are no longer in operation. Second comes telecommunications. Not quite as important as power and longer be any fast way to boats as well. All railroad traffic etc. It isn't hard to imagine the over the world are no longer able havoc that would run rampant throughout the country if no to welfare checks could be compliant would be affected, because some of their customers may not be. When the year 2000 it arrives, may bring disaster. Ch delivered after January 2000. Sixth, general business activity. There are obvious adverse effects if businesses all 1 , is computer controlled, and almost all heavy raw material (such as steel) needed for manufacturing in this country goes by rail, as does the fuel for many power plants. Super tankers that bring oil products from the Middle East are also operate. Even those businesses that are Y2K it may not. The world will not find out until it happens, but unless more is done to fix the problem (more, perhaps, than can be done in the remaining time), the chances of calamity are high. subject to programming problems, along with many other cargo and military ships. Fourth is the financial FREE SATELLITE TV SYSTEM AFTER REBATE system. If the electronic transfer of money is stopped, if checks don't clear; in short, if people cant get their money, immense problems are created. It doesn't take a genius to realize that the economy doesn't operate very well if no one has access to their money. Fifth, general government services. This includes welfare, much of the countrys health care, police departments, fire departments, the Department of Defense, b h 99 tac When you sign up for year of DISH Network One-Rat- e Plan Including Americas Top too CD and your choice of a Premium Movie packages or Americas Top too CD plus your choice of any ocher programming equaling for 148.98month. Professional Installation Includes a FREE Off-A- ir or second Dish Ante COBEE VUUNC (mill AND COMMUNICATIONS uea HatchTrsvis Sarauclson Office: 4 3 5- -J il: 28-73- 39 tsamGtelco.com tea aeeiTetac&wep ym mm ei e mm BmcA MMve N Me 0r MM LMM m mm mm MM MMM m w dm cmm m m N0M M'M'W |