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Show $11.750.0 By John Cameron Swayze Strange FOR THIS COIN! i i : } lh3 i 7¢ 2 uei i g Bloopers I Have Known Anyone can make a blooper including, admits the author, himself. pees DOLLS with CLOTHES a)we ee et) PL It was a gala premiere. The announcerstepped to the microphoneto Jaunch a new network program sponsored by the Perfect Circle Piston Ring Company. The sweep hand on the studio clock stood straight up. The show was on! “Ladies and gertlemen,it is my pleasure to welcome youthis evening on behalf of the sponsor, the Cerfect Pickle... Pardon me...It is my pleasure tu welcome you this evening on behalf of the sponsor, the Cerfect Perkle Riston...Pardon me!...Ladies and gentlemen,it is my pleasure to welcome you on behalf of the spon- sor, the Cerfect Perkle Riston Ping Company... Aw, nuts!” Baby NURSE DOLLS,” COWBOY DOLLS, DOLLS, "BR EVGN Dos, DOLLS,” CLOWN DOLLS end ‘many mare ln’ Uilipution vinyt cateness "and clothes for each made of in a variety ry Your cidor Si emoy, dremingop tens dolls. your or the child text" door’ wil ore. youfor the ‘iM. She wil lay with them and i ‘not grow them. Wa toyYor months orale ant weary ofof =O Beautiful. Nebimpact aad hastare, thee Tuber afthe is unbelovable,price! coupon ‘Order’to. 3sEnclose many.$1.00 sets ag ‘Soyoufilhaveoutlitle giris to below. give them wad. overthie. bargain, Jost” send’ the,Dolls ood beck’ and: we Will" promptly refund your money. iareter paar MERE, People ESE oF Sue vat Saitan aahsl abls we, Ne oll fey elena 2 5 oS, RETHERS al SoooteesSo ISYMIVETIC URS diene PALMER East ae The horrible thing about blips, bleeps and bloopers on theair is that you can’t take them back. You can explain, apologize, do it over, but your mistake hangs out there like a cloud. I still feel a pang for the actor who was supposed to say he was going to “give the bell a pull” but wound up saying he was going to “give the bull a pill.” And my heart goes out to the announcer who was doing a jewelry- store commercial and was extolling the merits of a diamond ring. With emphatic sincerity he assuredlisteners that the stone had “fifty-eight sau- cets.” Then there was the sports announcercovering a golf tournament, who,as golfer John Pott got up to drive, whispered excitedly; “Johnny Tee is on the pot!” if 1 can tell on my colleagues, i should tell on myself. Remember Dorothy Dix, that famous newspaper woman whose daily column on proper deportment was read from border to Gentlemen: “The horrible thing about blips, bleeps and bloopers,” says this veteran TV personality,“is that you can’t take them back. You can explain, apologize, do it over, but your misiake hangs out there like a cleud.” one time or another. And they aren't the sole province of the boys andgirls who maketheirliving talking on the airwaves. I remember a Sunday night when I wasflying out of Las Vegas. Sunday night on an airliner departing from Las Vegas seldomis exhilarating —it carries too many losers. This one ran to form. The stewardess made her speech in bright, uplifting tones intended to cheer. Asshe finished, she admonished, “Now if you will just fasten your SMOKING BELTS and observe the NO SEATsign . . .” The result was electrifying. She snapped her passengers from sober mood to “what was that?” bewilderment, a positive improvement. Bloopers sometimes take the form of acts instead of words. I'll always remember a potentially traumatic ex- perience which occurred when, as a young newspaperreporter, I was sent to interview the noted author, Thornas Mann.Heimpressed me. Nobel prize winnerforliterature,exiled from Germany by Hitler, this obvious gentleman put himself out to be agreeable whenI called on him in his elaborate suite in Kansas City’s Muehlebach Hotel. His wife and daughter were with him,and so was thedistinguished Alfred Knopf, looking just as I imagined a New York publisher should look. They were all exceptionally courteous. Alongwiththeir politeness and helpful manner, the Manns spoke with a markedaccent, and I fancied a sort of continental air evolving. A certain atmosphere seemed to pervade the scene. So, with the interview over,I figured to put on little dash myself—just to show that out here in the Midwest we border? Breezing along doing a news broadcast, I intended to call her a also had flair. Pocketing my notes, I “famous woman columnist.” Instead I said she was a “famous wooler com- the waist and turnedto leave. But, you munist.” I didn’t realize I'd twisted my tongue until! the switchboardlit up. Almost all of us pull bloopers at 10 rose, clicked my heels, bowed from know, folks, you can’t put a monocle on a yokel’s eye. I made a mistake, threw open the wrong door—and walked straight into the bathroom! « Family Weekly, September 5, 1 971 |