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Show How You Can Mend a Broken By ARTHUR N. FOXE, M.D. Heart author of “The Life and Death Instincts” as told to Jeanne Toomey “7 CAN’T live without him,” says the anguishedgirl. “My heartis broken.” out the catharsis of some tears. the city which reminded him of his Several years ago, a well-known professional woman suffered a severe dead wife and became a boat-yard owner in a Florida community. The outdoor life which he had always personal loss. Her friends admired er woes than you—and, believe me, there are miliions. Mrs. Joseph P. Kennedy, mother of two murdered loved proved therapeutic. He has not sons and who has suffered other personal losses, is an example of a woman never giving in found another love interest yet, but who found in religion and charity his heart appears to be mending by the strength to continue to live productively and without rancor. doctor would agree the girl has an anguishing burden—one which al- to the turmoil inside her. One night, though, she took herlife. 2) Make the decision to put the loss behind you. Decisive action is a relief in itself. ready has seriously disturbed her emotionally and quite possibly could The girl who goes to Europe after a shattered romance; the man who bring on true physical ailments, Wecan’t cure a broken heart. But we can arrest it and overcome its plunges himself in his career after Her fiance had broken their engagement, and she is hurt and lonely. Of course, she can live without him: her heart is broken only in a poetical sense. Yet the most clinically minded pain. We can learn to love again, too. Through the ages, men and women have rediscovered happiness after a brokenlove affair. Those who haven’t —well, the consequences have been as tragic as Romeo and Juliet’s. Here’s what you must do—quickly—if you suffer a “broken heart”: 1) Give way to your emotion. The strong,stoical loser in love is moreapt to have serioustrouble later if he or she suffers only inside with- her for the “chin-up” way she took the disappointment, being jited—these are mature individuals who know they can not cling to the past and live happily. They have diverted their thoughts and emotions into areas they find challenging. Time, remember, is on the side of the loser. But the loser must give time a chance—and a good way is to act to blot out the past. 3) If necessary, begin life anew. A man I knew lost the wife he loved through death and was almost suicidal with grief. He finally left his job as an advertising executive and exposure to his outdoor life. 4) Acceptthehelpof old friends. Friends can subtly cheer up the heartbroken and lead him or her to accept the inevitable. A good friend 7) Consider a new romance. Time—if you help it—may heal your wound, You may be surprised also may be able to lead the crestfallen one into a new social life or to find not even a scaris left. In your excursion into new careers, social life, and charity work, don’t dismiss at least help him fill the lonely hours. the idea you will never find a sub- 5) Make new friends. stitute for the “one and only” who Join clubs, attend parties and dinners, accept invitations to meet new people. The broader you make your got away. Life isn’t that unjust. We all know of devoted husbands and wives who, after losing their beloved horizons the less important the limited horizons of the past become. You'll find many old friends eager to introduce you to new faces. But matesin death, eventually remarried and found another rewarding relationship. This is the natural way. If you follow these modest sugges- some of the initiative must come tions, you will mend yourself. But if from you. your depression continues to deepen and you are unable to cope with it, 6) Help others. Nothing is more therapeutic than helping persons who have even great- don’t deiay. Seek professional help for that broken heart. « Skoal’Tobacco isn't for smoking. It isn’t lit, puffed or inhaled.It sure beats smoking. Skoal is good, honest tobacco. Witha cooling touch of wintergreen. Just a pinch between gum andcheek gives you everything you want from tobacco— without chewing. Itsure beats smoking! ee 4 4 Copenhagen® “straight” For information on howto use Skoal, please write: United States Tobacco Company, 630 Fifth Ave., New York, N.Y. 10020 Happy Days® Raspberry Tobacco |