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Show Wiskthrowsin the sponge tree! (Better not wait till everybody soaks them up) Whata Bunch of Coaster Missers! Announcement party! Gala thing! You'll notice we're now able To say our daughter has a ring! (And so does every table! ) —Ruth Chadwick QUIPS AND QUOTES Therevolution in a South American country had failed, and the rebel leader had been captured. He was dragged through the streets to the capital’s’main plaza where he was pushed against a wall to face the firing squad. As A child-study institution has just completed research on youngsters who suck their thumbs and has issued a report that such chil- dren have a distinct tendency toward one clean thumb, —D. 0. Flynn the soldiers loaded theirrifles, the captain in charge asked the condemned man whether he had any last words. “Down with the despicable Pres- idente!” shouted the rebel. COOKWARE AT The captain frowned and asked: “Are you looking for trouble or something?” —John Shotwell “I'm getting a new- job,” the waiter told his long-time patron, “and I wonder whether you'd write a letter of recommendation stressing how honest I am.” TEFLON’ “Well,-you've served-mea long time,” the customer said, “and I’ve always found you_ honest. Just give me some paper, and I'll state that.” “Wonderful!” exclaimed the waiter, then he bent near and whispered, “Come in tomorrow, and I'll let you have a meal for nothing.” —Frances Benson A group of tourists was being shown through a national park famed for its fossils and other prehistoric features. The guide showed them the footprints of dinosaurs which once roamed throughout the region. “How old are those prints?” a tourist asked. “Just 1,000,003 years old,” the guide replied. “How can you be so certain?” the tourist continued. “Because a college —A. T. Quigg Do you realize that a teen-ager is someone who in 20 years will be complaining about the next generation of youngsters? —Georgette Biermiester laa aha Ken “If only that darn doorbell would stop ringing!” Family Weekly, April 2, 1967 professor studied them and said they were a-million-years old—and that was three years ago.” |