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Show Gold-Piated Future Oh,one of these days we'll reshingle the roof And re-tover the sofa with satin. We'll paper ‘and paint, and we'll carpet the floor, Get tailor-made suits and some frocks from Dior And splurge on a trip to Manhattan. The subject of the class composition for the third grade was “Cleanliness and Health.” One youngster chose the subject of dental hygiene and wrote this: “For good, healthy teeth, brush every day, see your dentist frequently, and watch out for shovers at the water fountain.” Frances Benson A motorist was stopped at a police roadblock, “A patient has escaped from the asylum,” an officer said. “He's crazy, and we've got to nab him.” “What does he look like?” the motorist asked. “He’s small and skinny,” the officer explained, “and weighs 300 pounds.”” “How can a man be small and skinny and--weigh 800-pounds?” the motorist retorted: “] told you—he’s crazy,” the officer replied. —Frank Benning Eternal Feminine From what I know of women now, The source of tears and laughter, 1 sometimes sadly wonder how They'll do in the Hereafter. For when they go to Heaven, they'll Not be content, I fear. To wear that same(I hear them wail) ‘Old halo every year. —Richard Armour The young-man saw an empty car rolling along the street. Quickly he jumped in and yanked at the emergency. brake, bringing it to a jolting stop. Soon a sourlooking man peered in thedriver's window, and the youth asked: “Is this your car?” The man nodded. “Well, it wasrollingdown the - “} was pushing it. ” —Amos Elder |