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Show The Salt Lake Tribune BASICS C3 Wednesday, August 27, 2003 Lovefiancé for whohe is now without measuring In carats Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend deepinto debt for a diamond andI went to look at wedding isn’t terribly smart because you rings. I chose a very modest ring are just as married without one that he can afford without any (D) You chose a smaller ring. problem. After the outingI told And the answeris: (E) Marry our mutual friends all about the somebodyelse ring, and they then informed me Unless: you canaccept this that his first wife’s ring was a guyfor who heis now, with you, two-carat ring from and stop comparing Tiffany’s. Is it him with the guyhe wrong of me to now was with his ex. want a two-carat That marriageis over, and that guyis ring? I just feel dif: ferent about the over. And if you are modest ring now, not happy enough like his purchasing with what you and he me a smaller diahavetogether right mondthanhis first now— if you covet wife’s means he what youonce had loves meless. What with someoneelse, should I do ask what he once had CAROLYN Hax with someoneelse for a two-carat ring then this relationship or settle for the is over, too. modest ring? Envious in lowa Weneedn't get that drastic, assuming you were content beDear Envious: Pop quiz: You fore you began measuring love are getting a smaller ring than in carats. But you do need to his ex wife’s because: break the comparison habit (A) Heloves youless. now andfor that you needa (B) He loved his ex-wife less senseofself that is strong for demanding rings hecould enough to survive your sense of not afford. everyoneelse. (That comes in (C) He was wealthier then, or especially handy when you have had not yet learned that going BASICS In brief Back-to-school sharing Julie Shields, parenting expert and authorof Howto Avoid theMommy Trap: A Roadmapto Sharing Parenting and Making it Work(Capital Books, $21.56), offers these tips on howworking parents canease into back-toschool routines: @List and split domestic duties: These include household chores laundry, shopping and cooking as well as child care needs such as supervising homework, getting kids to school and parent/teacher conferences. @ Work with skills, talents and preferences: If dad likes to get up early and eat breakfast with the kids, mom should take advantageof that time to get to work earlier or take care of an otherchore. @ Outsource jobs you hate: If hiring a housecleaner reduces stress and arguments, it is moneywell spent. @ Set up a family calendar: Onceatask oractivityis penciled in, it is up to the responsible parent to follow through. @ Stagger hours: Work out flexible hours with employersif possible so your schedules don’t overlap. mutual friends whohaven’t yet learned the merits of thinking before they speak.) Since you have madethis aboutrings, we will makeit aboutrings. You chose one out of courtesy to your boyfriend, then you reconsidered out of has entertainment value, please share it with the rest of us. If it is of no real consequence not even remotely amusing,or if it is something you have brought up 17 times before and ruthlessly failed to confront, please deal withit all by yourself. can e-mail Carolyn at tellme@washpost.com or write: Carolyn Hax’s “Tell Me About It” column runs Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. You Washington Post, Style Plus, 1150 15th St,NW, Washington, D.C. 20071. “Tell Me About It,” c/o The competition with the ex. Who are you, and what do you want? Answer thatfirst. Then, out of respect for your boyfriend, ask yourself whetherthatis a fair thing to want. Then stop looking over your shoulder. Andthen, don’t makeit just about rings. Ask yourself these questions everytime you catch yourself comparing yourlife with someoneelse’s. STAMP OF AUSTRALIA Suddenly stamp collecting seems Dear Carolyn: How do you knowwhenit is better to bring up an issue of concern (pick any) with your boyfriendorgirlfriend or to deal with it by yourself? interesting with flavorfu l wines Seattle, Wash. Dear Seattle:If it is a signifi- available in either cant concern or saysa lot about whoyouare, share it. If it affects bottles or in your partner,shareit. If not sharing meansit is going to fester till you spew green stuff, please, shareit. If it is minor but the convenient 3-liter cask. class will be held every other Wednesdayfrom Sept. 9 to Nov. 25 at the Indian Walk-In Center, 120 W. 1300 South in Salt Lake City. Class beginsat 5:30 p.m. and costs $30 per person. Register by Sept. 3 by calling 468-3179. Cooking classes Cooking classes continue this week at the Sandy Bosch Kitchen Center, 8940 S. 700 East. Today at 12:30 p.m. see a free demonstration of various juicing and dehydrating machines; Thursdayat 7 p.m. learn to makea Spanish paella dinner with seafood and chicken, $10 per person; and Saturdayat 10:30 a.m. get recipes for Filipino egg rolls and Wonton soup, $5 per person. For more informationor to register, call 801-950-9109orvisit http:// www.sandybosch.com. y af; Recipes for diabetics Learnto read labels, plan meals and get newrecipes during the Dining With Diabetes courseoffered by Utah State University Extension Service. The SS os in Salt Lake City is looking for qualified individuals to participate in a clinical research study thatwill evaluate an_ investigational pain medication following bunion removal. If you qualify for this study, you mayreceive surgery at no cost, study medication, and financial compensation. For more information call: 866-266-8900 SCINS. Millions Want Face-lifts SPECIAL. Women worldwide love to have face-lifts! 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