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Show _Fi alt Lake Tribune FAMILY Sunday April 25, 1999 Soccer Veterans Share Tipsfor sad Parents Can Be Good Soccer Sports BY CINDY KRANZ CINCINNATI ENQU Listento the child, both verbally and body language,” Murphysays. “Children IRER love to play sports under natural circum- Ah, spring Season Survival stances It's the season when minivan-loads of parents and children engagein theritual of wandering the landscapelike nomads BY CINDY KRANZ CINCINNATI in search of onething — soccerfields ing much. Or they haven't made any Spring soccer season requires an arsenal of copingskills. And there is so much friends. Or they are not improving. Each problem will havea different solution. bearing parents on the sidelines, what you arelooking for. The program is to cope with: multiple practices. over- Coaches, referees and parents shared these tips on how to survive the soccer kids splattered with mud, overbearing parents seagon: on the sidelines, keeping track of uni- forms and socks, and did we mention overbearing parents onthesidelines? Scheduling: Most parents juggle soc- Chris Curran of Anderson Township. ce¥: games with other activities of their child and other children in the family Ohio, who has coachedand refereed soc. Keeping a comprehensive schedule was high on readers’ survival-tips list. If you have a personal computer, get a’¢alendar program and print out your practice and gameschedule for the season. Put a copy in the car, one on the cer for encourages parents to show the samerestraint they showat oth erschool events. If you wouldn't stand up competition on many playing fields today hastaken the funout of sports. Rudepar- stanting, baseball season will be starting. We-will have either a sports practice or a eee game six out of seven days of the ents who don’t want their kids exposed to that behavior. Experts saythis is especially troublesomefor parents who have been told that sports is a good way to dance and gymnastic classes and Boy Scout/Girl Scout meetings. “It outlines the practice times and dates, game times and dates, snack and drink schedules anda special columntell- Someparents fear that the cutthroat ents and coachespose a dilemmaforpar build fully, we don’t need to ask another family member or friend to help out.” @Become a coach, assistant coach or league president. That way you have some control over when gamesand prac- tices are scheduled. “Sure you cannot run things simply for your convenience, but it is mucheasier to juggle things aroundif you are the juggler,” says Greg Hoffman, president of Tips for being a good soccer par- ent, from veteransoccer dad and referee Jim Dudis: @Be calm and be encouraging to the kids. Don’t verbally beat up your kid on or off the field, either as a coach of your kids or if you are a spectator. ™@ Don't coachfromthesideline because it maygo against theinstruc- tions of the real coach. @ Realize that many kids are em- Networking: Networkingis especially thesame time. “sEGet to know otherparents of children e team. That way you can call on other to carpool when there are luling conflicts f=ssAnother populartactic is to enlist ex| tended family (anyone in the phone book ‘ with the samelast nameas yours)to help ‘kids get to games and practices,” says conditions,” says Shane Murphy, a sports psychologist and author of The Cheers barrassed by the actions of parents. Don't try to live your youth through your kids “It doesn’t happen automatically, and @ Bean exampleofhowto behave; it doesn't happen byaccident. It takes foul language or behavior from the parent or coach teacheschildren how planning. The most important people are the league administrators, the coaches to act later on, on thefield, in class and at work. @ Remember that some refs are andthe officials. They must work togeth- er to spell out a clear philosophy of the program, what goals are being set and new to their position and nervous. They may not make the right call everytime. howthey will be achieved.” Research, showsthatself-esteem is in- creased if athletes get good coaching. Girls andboys like to learn newskills and try them out in games. A good coach dress in layers. Keep an extra set of clothes in the car in case yoursget rain- provide additional entertainment, pack @ Keep a spare shirtin case you have to give yoursto the goalie. @ When it’s time for a soccer game, Fuller allows at least an hour toget everyone ready to go. “I also allow extra time for fighting over who gets the good set of shin guards (the ones the dog hasn't chewed on). We grab water bottles, ing because you want to watch the game! drenched. snacks,drinks and load them in the cooler and hope the schedule was checked Doug Doench of Groesbeck, Ohio, who has jogged 20 years as a soccer coach and parent. “The main thing is to get used to going in different directions. i Nace year, sevenof our eight kids were ing on six different teams, and we on ly had to scramble. The worst day ing with mud is a wayoflife ;eBody had a gameand a photo session spring,"’ Doench says. that year was team-picture day when ev- “formttend.’ me =tequipment: Keeping equipment orga- fifzéd is importantfor players and spectators: Parents often complain about last- minute searches for the uniform or shin guards. And on the sidelines, few soccer fields have bleachers. Lawn chairs for parents need to be ig ly, but lightweight, since there are no parking places near soccer fields. hair must take up little space since '1itis only one of many pieces of equipment * that wiil stay permanently in your trunk +A fold-up canvaschair in a bag is recom- mended Keep the car stocked at all times. ‘Haye double of everything, including ‘water bottles, shoes and tape, towels, trash bags and rain gear. Load the car | with blankets, sunscreen, sunglasses, hats ‘and umbrellas. @ For overnight trips, don't forget the cooler and credit cards. @ Parents and players should learn to ats 6Ya % 020s sn 10 YR. es6Ye® a.20% Arn] 20 YR 6Ya % v0rm nm ‘dS A] 20 ad6%* 0.74% APR — mar OK uC SALT Lal 2700 Wighiaes! Drive #000 PARK CITY 649-7808 Ranch Rd. @oi “str positive benefits — increased self-esteem, healthyphysical activity, a goodso- and the Tears: A Healthy Alternative to the Dark Side oi Youth Sports Today (Jossey-Bass; $15). Milan Youth Soccer, Milan, Ind. important for parents who have more than onechild playing soccer. Inevitably, some of their practices and gamesareat that youth sports provides these sorts of cial experience — only under theright ing usif thereis a conflict. Many times we do ‘ave conflicts. If we do, I go one way, and my husband goesanother, and hope- -esteem. “The important thing to rememberis @ Mind Your Manners, Parents and it wasn’t our turn to bring drinks or snacks for the team that week. (We haven't forgotten yet!) Mud:In the spring soccerseason, cop- “Learn to love mud, especially in the some snacks, crayons, books, etc. to pro- vide a distraction and minimize the whin- knows how to spot mistakes and correct them, in an encouraging way. Parents can look for signs that sports participationis upsetting their child. “It's usually exciting to watch the older kids, especially when your kids make a LewisWolcott (> Dornbus REAL ESTATE STOP PAYING RENT! Purchase a home with aslittle as 3% down & wewill pay the closing cost. Also call for the best Tates/costs on refinancing, conforming & jumbo loans before theyget in the car. Put them in the trunk and wait for the mud to dry if you can. Clapthebottomsofthe shoes togeth- pe SON) TORR Rocca Pel cel Ged Ed ae fatal -}ehmaxleyaKer.\14 ic 11.00 - 1:00 socks and uniforms. and supporttheir child, the coaches antl the officials, Murphy says. Parents who criticize officials set a bad example for youngsters and should be asked to ré. frain. If they can’t, they should be asked to sit out a couple of games. Jim Dudis of Glendale, Ohio, spentfive years as a coach and community repre sentative and is now a referee, which he has been doing about four years. His two sonsplay and referee soccer as well. “All too often we see the worstin parents,” he says. “I've seen parents try to intimidate youngrefs, toa point that goodrefs won't do any more games. Most times, he says, the most important thing to the young soccer player is: Who brought the snacks, and what are they? They are often looking for unusual cloud formationsas theballsails into the goal “They don’t see this kind of fun as competition,” Dudis says. “These are not qualifying matchesto the World Cup finals. 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Parents should cheer for their ch{l- dren, cheer good play by the other tearh Cee oe cy ae munityis dedicated ew ported to the appropriate league offi cial copewith their boredom Couryhoch IncoranoPhere =z MIKE LINDSAY errenere beck ro oy € wm cay en Sa nd IR COPY Parents shouldn't try to change anoth- er parent's behavior alone, Murphy says. ‘The problem is always liable to escalate. Theinappropriate behavior should be te- Siblings: Provided the siblings are not @RAND TALL OAKS HOME! ‘one level desion w/high celings lorSheanstare Fontoatic ew ad nam I pase oenone point across without having to say & word.” ger ones.” backseat M@ Make the kids take their shoes off but for overnight trips, bring laundry soap to use in the hotel bathtub to wash After unsuccessfully attempting to sI- LUXURY goodplay, and funnyto watch the youn- WKeep towels and newspapers in the er outside once the muddries. ™@The washing machine can usually handle mostof the mudonthe clothes andplayers as youngas 7 an article about the psychological dam: agethat can occur to children by coaches and parents,” she says. ‘This got my your schedule. also includes schedules for baseball, screamednegative commentsat referees ing a school choir concert, you shouldn't Amy Fuller of Edgewood, Ohio, has four children who play soccer — 9-yearote’ twins, and 7- and 5-year-olds. Tony Jones/Cincinnati Enquirer Caryn Hamilton,8 (left), and Rachael Philpot, 9, practice in Newtown, Ohio. Township, Ohio, was often annoyed by lence these offenders with verbal con- spend thewhole soccer match screaming ‘Kick it! Kick it harder!’ ” wat ‘the beginning of the season, she makes out a family soccer schedule that Withfour childrenplaying soccer year- round, Kathy Overman of Springfield hostile parents and coaches who frontations. | began to handout copies of one’with you to work to integrate with “Within weeks of the soccer season But if child wants to keep playing,that’s doingits job nd start shouting, ‘Sing!Singit louder, S fridge and onein the datebook andcarry > If, instead, they seem down or depressed. try to find out what needs arp not being met. Perhaps they aren't play- Sees ore toner 900 tow weareee tn fore weet teen howe © tome leyWaiines Re standardsit promotes amongits members. Pa Ce ed (801)467-a Member RELO Rolocation Net CTT allalleles Rae $ Don't missit! 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