Show lua fua l ww T alf nir IP I 1 A teacher pi af pf vocal lii lif eti ell an 0 jid did a lally la dy if her gra grandson had any ear for music waal said the old woman 1 0 n I 1 t IC know n ow won jyo tso joli u just take a can dle die dlo 6 and 11 nd see tom said a wag to a hanger on at it a r roadside house tell teil nie me tile tho greatest lie yoni never rever told in your life and ill ril give adua you yoh a glass klass of ale mel me said tom I 1 never told a lie landlord drav draw the ale said the other some of the hosts of the olden time were not nice in the treatment of their royal patrons he was a bold bon boniface face of the white horse who charged geor george go II 11 ila lla a guinea for an egg and who on being asked by his ills majesty himself if eggs were scarce replied no sir but kings king sare are A gal gai way bailiff having been questioned as to whether he had ad spoken to any of the locked up jury during the night gravely answered no my lord they kept calling out for me to brin bring them whisky but I 1 always said geil gell gentlemen of the tho th ejury jury it ift is my duty to tell you that I 1 ain am sworn not to speak jo to you 31 montesquieu 0 n tes quieu was discussing a ques tion tofi with a counsello the parliament of llor 1301 Bordeau deau who was witty but rather hotheaded hot he headed abed the latter concluding some very fiery remarks said mr pr president if this is not as I 1 tell you I 1 will give you my head I 1 accept it replied montesquieu coolly cool y small presents keep up friendship The fort Port rt wayne ind democrat tells of a woman in allan county who plows plow f s fishes mugs sin gsand aad aud nurses all at once she lias has a bell attached to the fishing bishin pole that gives notice when there is a bite ite 1 she suspends her twin babies bables ba blesin in a tree and drives the plow aroun d the tile field to the tune of old hundred I 1 v A printer in putting autu putu 0 in type a report of the grain market used a damaged 0 in the word oats making the sentence read rear the supply of cats is scarce the eye of an old lady who was hasti hastily ly scanning the mornin morning newspaper caught the sentence and its novelty led her to repeat it aloud au exclamation I 1 cats scarce thais lio iio no to be woude wondered reil at when I 1 menagerie is in the tho toon 11 A k late earl eari of 1 nelly kelly elly was relating in a company that ho he had listened tuu tua tou sermon in italy in which the preacher described the alleged miracle ot of st anthony preaching to the fishes which in order to listen to him held their thel heads butof out of the water I 1 ean can C an believe the in miracle r acle acie said henry erskin erskine lordship lordship p was at cli ell church I 1 was certainly tali tall there said the tile peer then rejoined henry ta there was waa at least one bonefish nish fish butof out of water Foot ethe comedian traveling in the west of england dined one bayat day at an in inn when the cloth was removed the landlord asked him how edw lie he liked his fare 1 I have dined as well vell as any man in england said foote F oot e except ex capt mr mayor mayon cried the tile landlord I 1 do not except anybody whatever said he bub but you must bawled the host I 1 wont you must at length the strife ended by the tiie landlord who was a petty magistrate staking foote before the mayor who bb observed served it had been customary in that town for a great groat number of years always to except the M mayor 0 and accordingly fined him a shilling shia lii lil n for not conforming to this ancient custom 1 conff upon this decision foote paid the sli sll illing g at the same time observing that lie thought the landlord the great est fool in christendom except mr mayor D the late lord elgin eigin when passing through urh new york on his way to england from canada had hall occasion sion slon to casil cash a draft on a bank in that city entering tho the establishment lie took up a pen and aud endorsed the document elgin and kincardine Kin cardine his titles and presented it to the tile cashier cashler cashler cashier who in his turn looked at ikover and over again referred to the directory and at last lat returned the draft to the astonished ear car eari earl bedont We dont know the firm of elgine el gine and kinear dine sir it aint in chedi reet ory and we decline to cash it vit NIt without hout a reference but iny my good sir retorted his lordship I 1 am the earl of elgin and kincardine uin Kin eardine cardine on her heu britannic Maje naje tys service returning to england by steamer leaving leavin 9 today I 1 dont know anything about what you say sir we know of no sueh such names so you must get some responsible firm to certify the signature signa ture so his lordship bad to hire a coach in search of his c tiby the signature of the house of elgin and kincardine rin Kin cardine |