OCR Text |
Show SOUTH CACHE COURIER The Little Fellow FLOYD GIBBONS llncLe Phil Adventurers' Club Scuii! Was Merely Curious Enjoy and Renounce The Pit By FLOYD GIBBONS Famous Headline Hunter. boys tY toOUrunknow, into an and girls, it isnt at all unusual for an adventurer experience that leaves him dazed and barely able to stagger along home, but Harry Goldin of Bronx, N. Y., is one up on (all those guys. Harry was dazed and barely able to stagger before ,his adventure started. After it was all over he was a lot worse off. It all happened in April, 1899, when Harry was down in Cuba n war for Uncle Sam. He was with the fighting the ! ( Spanish-America- Seventh Regiment cavalry, stationed In the field outside Pinal del Rio, and things had quieted down to such an extent that troopers with- - a good record could get a pass from the officer of the day to go Into town, make a few pur-- i chases, and have what was widely known as a good time. Harry was one of the troopers who had a good record. I dont know how he managed to get it, and I know doggone well he didn't deserve it, because the first thing he did when he hit town he and his , buddy was to head for a saloon. i They had a couple bottles of beer, and then they drank some Cuban white ,mule. They ambled around the town taking In the sights, but to judge by Harrys and bis pals actions, most of those sights were In the bottom of a glass. J A. W. O. L. Is Bad Business in Any Mans Army. Finally It got to the point where they had to do their sightseeing sitting down, because whenever they got up on their feet the sights reeled and wabbled around so fast that they couldnt get a good look at them. That went on until it became Just plain Impossible to seeS sight or anything else. Then all of a sudden it dawned on them that it was dark that they had overstayed their leave and that they had better . get the heck out of town before the corporal of the guard came looking for them. They lurched to their feet and started walking toward the camp in three directions at once. By the time they were half way thqre It was twice as dark as when they ,had started. They couldnt see a foot ahead of them and were even having some trouble trying to keep a foot under them. How the two lads got separated, iHarry doesnt know. He was walking along talking when all of a sudden he realized he was talking to himself. He yelled for his pal, but he got no answer. On top of that it started to thunder and lightning and then to rain. Harry went on alone. Every once In a while a flash of lightning would Illuminate the sky, and then he could see where he was going. The third or A Snarling Bear Was Pawing at Him In the Joy has Its corresponding law; every hearts pleasure Is an alternative, and If much we should enjoy, much also we must renounce. All the honey a bee gathers during its lifetime doesnt sweeten Its sting. Misquote your lines of poetry in a speech a little, so that your hearers wouldnt think you have just studied them up. Dont the goldfish sometimes look as If they ought to be regllded? There are people whose conversation makes you tired, toward whom, nevertheless, you always have a tender feeling. His little, freckled face made a smudge against the plateglass window In front of an F street quick lunch place. Customers watched him for some time as his eyes grew big and wide as he contemplated the hot dogs and hamburgers that were sizzling on the griddle. Finally, a woman sitting at the counter near the window, got up and walked out to where the little fellow stood. she Are you hungry, sonny? asked. 1 "No, maam, came the reply. was just wondering how many of those I could eat If I was hungry. Philadelphia Inquirer. Fat Mans Advantage fat man has one advantage over bis brethren he knows where his cigar ashes will fall. A Childhood Memories Jackson I noticed you got up and gave that lady your seat in the tram the other day. Hackson Since childhood I have respected a woman with a strap in her hand. A Smart Man Teacher Who was the worlds smartest man? Boy Thomas Edison. He Invented the phonograph and radio so that people would stay up ail night and use his electric light bulbs. PERHAPS RETIRED Life Is a Business Life Is a business we are all apt to mismanage; either living recklessly from day to day, or suffering ourselves to be gulled out of our moment by the inanities of custom. Today Is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday and all is well. But can you, offhand, name anybody benefited by except undertakers? Man who doesnt vote thinks It excuses him if he says I would vote if theyd make everybody vote. Id like to see that office boy of ours thirty years from now. Why so? He ought to make a wonder as a tired business man. Reap a Destiny Sow an action and reap a habit, sow a habit and reap a character, sow a character and reap a destiny. All men consider their rights with How a great deal of solicitude. many consider their duty? Try to be nice to other people not officiously, but easily and comfortably In the run of the day. Sooner or later the clock stops for the man who goes on the theory that there is a sucker born every minute. WRIGLEYSk WM33SMe PERFECT GUM 1 SH0B5 lliO noiv mss w p s a pal y Pit fourth flash showed a dark object up ahead. That, Harry thought, would be his buddy. He gave a whoop and started toward it Through the dark he could see It coming to meet him. Just as It reached him Harry stumbled and felL Harrys Pal Turned Out to Be a Big Black Bear. He reached out and grabbed hold of his pal, to help himself up again. His pal had grown a thick coat of heavy fur In the meantime, but Harry had had too many tequilas and aguardientes back in town to notice that Again he stumbled, clutched his pal for support, and both ' of them tumbled into a deep pit. It was the sort of a pit they use for garbage In Cuba. Something told Harry that, even though he couldnt see. The fall jarred some of the sense back Into him, and, for the first time he began to wonder how his pal had happened to grow that coat of fur. He didnt have to wonder long. A sudden flash of lightning lit up the pit. That furry thing wasnt his buddy at all. It was a bear a huge, black, snarling bear 1 For a minute Harry thought he was the whole thing. That bear must have come right out of one of those aguardiente bottles back In town. But no. The bear was on him now had him down was mauling him like the devIL He couldnt dream those sharp stabs of pain couldnt dream the bruises the bear gave him as he kicked him around. pipe-dreami- Harry Learns That Bears Dont Fight Fair. The bear didn't fight fair. It was the darndest animal Harry ever saw. It was Jumping on him. Harry could feel it Baml And the brute would land on him. Off hed go. And, then, Baml Hed land on him again. What kind of a bear was this that fought like a moose? ( Another flash of lightning told the story. Harry looked up' just In time to see the bear pawing and clawing at the top of the pit. Then, Bam I He lost his hold and landed on Harry again. That animal wasnt jumping on him. He was falling on him. He was using Harry for a springboard, trying to get out of the pit Thats about the last thing Harry remembers. Then, Bam I again, and he lost consciousness. The next thing Harry knew he woke up in the hospital. His . friends were all standing around his cot. He thought theyd come to be with him at the end until he noticed that they were all laughing. IN 17 YEARS , OF RAILROADIN WRITTEN GOT TRAIN ORDERS BEFORE BASEBALL -r--- r' I m gosh, PUT EVERYTHING I NEVER ON A YOU SURE VOU HAD The Laugh Was on Harry, Even if It Hurt. Harry says, "I had to laugh myself. The bear was one that had escaped from a small circus and had wandered out of town. It was just about twice as scared as I was. But Harrys laugh didnt last long. When he tried to move In his cot his grin faded away. He was scratched from head to foot and had three broken ribs where the bear fell on him. If you want to make him , mad now, Just ask him about the time he did a Sidney Franklin with old Bruin amid the rose petals and Incense of that refuse pit way down there in Cuba in 99. And when they told me about It," WNU Servloe. 10,000,000 in Abyeiinia , Ethiopia, or Abyssinia, has a total area of 850,000 square miles and a population of 10,000,000, consisting of Semitic Abyssinlans, Somalis, Arabs, negroes and Indians. Very little land la cultivated, the Idea of landed property scarcely being known. The rainfall, 30 to 40 Inches, heaviest In midsummer, provides much of the wat-- r for the annual overflow of the Nbe In Egypt BOYS! GIRLS! Mother of Pearl The mother of pearl of commerce Is the Inner portion of the shells of certain large marine bivalve mollusks oysters-antheir relatives. Like pearls themselves, It Is made up of a secretion of the oyster, built up layer by layer. The shells are collected chiefly In the tropical seas, but some are produced In Inland waters of the United States, Germany, China, Russia and a few other countries. d Join Dizzy Dean Winners! Get Valuable Prizes Send top from one full-siz- e Grape-Nut- s package, with your name and address, to Grape-Nut- s, Battle Creek, Mich., for new membership pin and certificate and illustrated catalog of 49 nifty free prizes. Youll like crisp, delicious Grape-Nut- s it has a winning flavor all its own. Economical to serve, too, for two tablespoonfuls, with whole milk or cream and fruit, provide more varied nourishment than many a hearty meal. (Offer expires Dec. 3 1, 1936. Good only intheU.S.A.) A Post Cereal Made by General Foods FREE! Dizzy Dean Winners Membership Pin. New 1936 design, two-tone-d solid bronze with red lettering. Free for 1 Grape-Nut- s package top. Autographed Portrait of Dizzy Doan. Taken by the celebrated portrait-photograph- Bachrach; with Dizzys own facsimile signature. forlGrape-Nut- s package top. Free j . I I J l Dizzy Dean, co Grape-NutBattle Creek, Mich. Grape-Nut- s I enclose. . package tops for which send me the item(s) checked below: w N u 1 Pin (send package top). Membership U Dizzy Dean Autographed Portrait (send 1 package top). n Mawt Street City ' State |