Show lum luN iCiS self conceit is 18 about as able a seat scat as a man can have for a steady thing A west end music seller was lately overpowered by a fastidious young lady lads who wanted to purchase mr hoods a song of the a gent lemans under garment g ar plent you xoung boung rascal said an old gentlemen to a rash little boy in the street if that cab lad had run over you where would you have been now 1 up be hind a of his number replied the boy he has honest many man written in his face said a friend to the late douglas jerrold s speaking of a person in whom jerrolds faith falth was not great dH humph replied jerrold then the pen must have been a very bad one one of the american government agents seriously informs the commissioners of customs that canadian smugglers have laid pipes across the st lawrence river and are engaged in in pumping whisky into the united states A witness in a case of assault was asked by a junior counsel how far were you sir from the parties when the alleged assault took place four feet five inches and a half was the answer promptly given ali Ah I 1 fiercely demanded the law lawyer er how came you to be so exact as ali alt all ail that because I 1 I 1 said the witness very coolly 1 I expected that some confounded fool would likely as not ask me and so I 1 went and measured it A artemus ward says no other nation has ever presented such an array of celebrated women as our own lookyat look at lilicy stone look at miss dickinson look at jeff davis look at mrs partington look at james buchanan 1 it I say sambo were you ever intoxicated t no julius bebber was you well swell f Iwas I 1 was sambo 11 it make you ie feel el good julius kahli but oh golly nex morning I 1 thought my head was a woodshed and all de biggers nl agers in christendom chris endom were splitting wood an fn m it the most attentive man to business we ever knew was he who wrote on his him own shop door gone to bury my wife return returning in half achour an hour houn 1 hovas he was no relation to the lawyer who put upon his office door back in five minutes and returned only after a pleasure trip of three weeks A little two year old girl fell the other day and striking he her hen r head cried at the top of her voice in the midst of her tears she chanced to see from the window a poor old horse with drooping head bead instantly checking her sobs she asked in the kindest tones Wh atee atlee matter hossy bump foo loo 00 oo head an editor of aN a western Vestern paper while taking a snooze after dark traveling in a railway carriage carria gei had his pocket picked the thief next day forwarded the pocket book by express to the editors editor office with the following note 1 yeou bil skunk hears yer pocketbook I 1 dont keep sieh sich fol foi fora a man dressed as well as yeu was ago to go round with a gallit and euthin in in it bullot but lot of noose paper scraps an ivry cumb too noose paper stamps and a pass from a ral erode is a con tempt erable on the kublicki pub licki As I 1 hear beur a editor I 1 return yer trash I 1 never toba io ioba any only gentlemen ay A 4 few days ago a young school mistress in the country was taking the names and ages af ner her scholars at the commencement of the term she bhe asked a little white headed boy bub how old are you he said my nama name aint bob its john H d well twell said the school mistress 16 what is the rest of your namey ii why all the name that pe lve lac 90 got t just Joh john ill idl well what is your fathers na name lell leil you put parne name downa he aint cammen an any y hes hel sto to big to go to school chool ll 11 I 1 well ivell how old are you 1 I aint ala aia old at iut all im young A carpenter who was always pro evil to himself was one gay day upon ulton the roof of a five story building upon which had fallen a rain ralp the ro roof 0 f I 1 ng rig slippery he lost his footing anda and i tie lie ie was descending dese eDdin towards t the davs eaves he exclaimed I just as I 1 told you catching however in the tin spout epou t lie kicked ki cled off his shoes shoes and regained rez a place of safety from which he thus delivered himself 1 I knowd it tharesa thores theresa a pair of shoes gone gono to thun thunder derl dir 1 |