Show " M Standard-Examin- Sunday October 23 1988 er Horizons r Thinking About A Party animal now a sedated parakeet EDITOR’S NOTE: Erma is on vacation this week This column originally appeared sell my husband on a social outing He’s at that time of his life when his heart will take no surprises If it’s a movie he wants to know if he’s going to like it If it’s Bom-bec- k in November of 1985 There is no delicate way to say it My social life is somewhere to the right of a sedated parakeet It happens The Zelda and F Scott Fitzgeralds of their time who vowed 36 years ago to let the good times roll have turned into Ma and Pa Kettle During the last 20 years it has been an uphill fight to get my husband out of his running shoes and into hard soles This madcap who used to bounce around a dance floor like a ping pong ball and have confetti in his bathrobe pocket is now reduced to a TV remote switch and deep breathing by 9 pm Most of the time women are the social animals who plan din- - At IVi Vs End Erma Bombeck Los Angeles Times Syndiale ners and movie dates buy season tickets to concerts organize bowl- ing and tennis games and keep their husbands on the move Then one day the become militant rebel They “Are we going out again? I feel like I’m on a treadmill How do you expect me to work every day and keep up this pace all night? Don’t you ever get the desire just to stay at home and relax? I suppose next month you’ll want to go out again!” It gets tougher and tougher to non-soci- “ani-male- al s” a party he wants to know when we’re coming home If it’s a game he wants to know if the score is going to be close If it’s a lecture he wants to know if it's worth staying awake for If I mislead him I am held personally responsible and points are mentally racked up against me They say you can always tell how exciting your life is by the hour you get into your night clothes Sometimes we have to change our pajamas because we dribbled our dinner onto them I cannot tell you the times we have said to startled guests who just drop in unexpectedly that we both have the flu always knew a man’s home was his castle I just never thought he’d pull up the drawbridge at 5:30 in the evening I Tailor growing grass-cover- ed robes” for $150 he says “And I’m putting together an $85 g kit which’ll contain a robe already seeded a hanger a plastic bag a plant mister and an instruction booklet” Harding 29 recently taught a class on growing grass clothing at Express-Way- s Children’s Museum on Chicago’s north side and two weeks later his students wore their green outfits in a parade around the museum “Wearing one is a unique experience” he says “It’s the only instance — besides being in the womb — where you’re enclosed in a living thing It’s heavy and damp — a robe may weigh 15 pounds But after wearing the suit for an hour you feel relaxed and grass-growin- Concern about the environ- ment prompted Harding to plant his first grass seeds on fabric growing miniature lawns on a suit of clothes including shoes tie and hat for an art show “After it was grown I put it on then came onstage and had someone chase me with a lawn mower The idea was that our environment is being pursued — mowed down — by technology” Harding says He says his social and political statements with grass aren’t difficult or expensive to grow and he buys the garments that support the wearable lawns from thrift “Grass is especially good for my purposes since it doesn’t take as long as most plants to germinate if it’s sufficiently watered” he says “I grew three grass suits a robe Painter’s Colleges Incorporated V V 392-579- 7 825-380- 5 rue 9 9 9 9 9 Prices Effective Thru Oct 29 9 9 9 9 COLLECnON MOMENTS EVENT Selected figurines will be discounted COME ONE! 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The other night as I sat in my nest of pillows and his recliner body was draped over the recliner chair the phone rang He jumped back to reality and said “Who could be calling at this hour?” “I don’t know" I said He hesitated before he picked it up “They don’t call to tell you you’ve won the lottery at 8:30 at night It must be bad news!” There are some people who tell me I should be flattered that my husband wants to stay at home These are the same unstable people who believe age has nothing whatsoever to do with the way you feel Outer Limits Amphoteric Kf Waving System SALE 4788 if Reg $60 The new Outer Limits Amphoteric Waving System by Helene Curtis simplifies the perming process giving even curls from scalp to ends with soft texture lasting body and shine Sale price effective through Seturdey October ?9th Perm incHdes shempoo cut end style - Long hetr evtra Some perms not recommended tor bleached or frosted hsir We proudly feature Nenus end Sebastian hair cere products Protesaonet heir care products end nail cere services srs always lu t rr -'-—-fir Duncan Phyfe Double Pedestal Table available 899 $889 Madison Buffet Madison China Deck The Styling Salon Charge it: Phone: Ogden City Mall Open Sundays IONS J c Pe"ne Company Inc at 599 Chippendale Arm Chair Chippendale Side Chair 219 199 IVYWGDD JCPgnnSy 377 394-007- 1 7D Win a & INTERIORS "Setting the Standard tor duality" FINE FURNITURE Mon-S- L 10- - |