| Show ' Ark Noah’s 3 From page time what sort of comic and dramatic license Halrni had taken But preview' tapes mailed out recently cleared up the mystery The hilarity begins w ith Lot doing jokes (“Your mother's mouth is so big she can whisper in her own ear”) Lot’s wife (Carol Kane) adds some slapstick by falling into a vat of dye as the soundtrack backs her with goofy music And mee't Noah (Jon Voight) and his brood Although both parents speak in American dialect their sons favor a thick wehz Australian accent ("Muh-thu- h moth-er-in-Ia- w ") The production was shot in Australia it seems with supporting characters drawn from the local population God too is Australian but with a milder accent Asked when the ark needs to be finished God's disembodied voice utters the ungodlike patter: “Immediately if not sooner!" A scene in which pagan priests lament the scarcity of sacrificial virgins plays like a Monty Python sketch At least three characters deliver wacky lines as their last words prior to a gruesome death Steenburgen fights evil chiefly by watered-dow- 6 n ' it' J bopping the ungodly with her frying pan Add to that special effects worthy of a middle-schocomputer lab Voight standing on a cliff in a long camera shot is superimposed over a closeup of lava flow w ith disorienting results Animals trotting up the ark’s ramp don't seem to touch the wood The action scenes gets so silly they cannot be redeemed even by blazing stunt rats Toss in some festive mental illness and a snickering sex talk and you're almost finished All that remains are the poop jokes Noah’s sons wielding shovels provided by God do their best at dtxity duty but occasionally step in something that causes them to slide across stage whooping and flailing in a loopy attempt to regain their balance Think of it as “The Three Stooges vs Biblical History” Any moments of spiritual inspiration are blotted out w ithin five minutes by the next sight gags bad special effects or inappropriate lines of script There’s a common belief among literature fans that the book is always better than the film Seems this holds true for the Good Book as well You cun reach reporter Nancy Van or nvan stanValkenhurg at dard net 625-427- 5 Standard-Examine- r Y - Appropriate for all children specifi- designed for a young audience including those ages 6 cally 2-- - Y7 Designed for children age 7 and above May contain mild physical or comedic violence or may frighten younger children G find - General audiences Most parents will suitable for all ages Little or no violence no strong language little or no sexual content - Parental guidance suggested PG Infr- coarse language limited violence some suggestive sexual content equent - 14 Parents strongly cautioned May be unsuitable for children under age 14 Sophisticated themes sexual content strong language and more intense violence - M Mature audience only May be unsuitable for those under age 17 Mature themes profanity graphic violence and explicit sexual content MAY 1 -- 81999 |
