Show Jue 15 6A Satercay Church 1S31 Sta"i3'd-Ex- -- a v Single fathers learn lessons of nurturing By JAViE LAfPROS Ea"noe coesooo0'1 S Brad D'hulst didn’t choose to be a single father But he ended up that way twice Onie through divorce once through death Though both experiences were tiaumatic D hulst said he has had tl e opportunity to learn what it's like to be motherh and nurturing to his lour children "After all that had happened I decided it there was anything I wanted to do in this life it was to be a good father “ he said D'hulst has three children Daniel Beniamin and Emilx from his first marriage and shares joint custody with former wife Pamela He has a fourth son Shelby from his second marriage Although hcir primary residence is with their mother D'hulst secs his three older children scxeral times a week "They attend my (LDS) ward with me cnery Sunday and we spend an enormous amount of time doing actmtics together I’m completely involved in their lives The kids know they can call me anytime day or night and I’ll be there for them’ the father said In 1988 D'hulst married Maria Giorgio She died July 21 1990 “She was eight months pregnant at the time of her death and the baby barely survived himself” D’hulst said The couple were attending an LDS baptism at the time of her death They were serving as stake missionaries and had converted an immigrant family from Mexico “After the closing prayer we went outside to eat Maria came up to me and told me her chest was tight and she couldn't breathe Then she collapsed in my arms ” Maria's aorta had ruptured and blood was pumping into her lung cavity “She died within minutes but they kept her alive medically in order to get Shelbv out” D'hulst said Shelby was born with acute asphyxiation and brain damage He lives in a nursing home where D'hulst spends much of his time As a single parent D'hulst “I believe a father should hold and hug his children If he doesn’t do that he doesn't know what it's like to be a father” he said found support through his church “When Maria died the elders came in and staved with the children My ward just rallied around me tn nty time of need They painted my house planted flowers mowed the lawn It was absolutely incredible” he said Despite all the misfortune that has come into their lives D’hulst said he and his children are closer than ever — mostly because of communication and cooperation with one another and also the solid relationship D'hulst has with the children's mother “There have been manv times we have sat down together and talked about our feelings from past events We laugh together cry togethei We go on bike rides to museums ballgames movies rollerskating and to see Shelby every Friday Kevin Tucker was also a single father to his five children for a brief time After nearly 14 years of marriage his wile Caprice died suddenly when the mitral valve in her heart gave way She was 33 at the time of her death “For about a month I walked around in shock I was basically running on adrenalin Then it hit me and I went into such a deep depression I couldn't even get out of bed There were davs when the children wondered if they’d even have a dad to come home to” Tucker said The children kennv Brian Megan Daren and Alan each dealt with their mother's death in different wavs “I really woiricd about the effects it had on the kids I tried to talk to them about it a lot The afternoon” D'hulst said he is thankful for his belief in the gospel of Jesus Christ and using the Lord as his example has helped hint to be a good lather more than anything vounger ones knew something had happened but they didn't fully understand The older ones had more emotional problems and their school work and every thing else was affected by it” he said Several months later he rentar-ic- d and he has a stepson Nick “I wanted the children to have a mother Even though it was hard for them to have someone else around at first I think it was the best thing tor them ” Tucker said communication with his children is vital “I tr to take them places individually and just talk During family Home Evening we talk about the things we would like to sec each other accomplish and how we can all help each other when we aren't feeling so great ” Because of his experience as a single father Tucker said he has enormous respect tor mothers “knowing what mothers have to go through has given me a greater appreciation for them The overwhelming physical work and emotional diain she goes through each dav is amazing to ? i me “I feel like now because nt a better father communicate with the children a lot more and we spend quality time together I coach their games lake them to mov ics Jazz games and other I trv to talk and help them understand mavbc some of the reasons Caprice died” he said Tucker said he is grateful tor his membership in the LDS Church and the lessons he has learned about the LDS plan of salvation “Understanding the concept of life after death and knowing there is a reason for things happening makes it easier to deal with At first it's the only thing you hang on to ” I I J t i 5 f ' kj j N TAnn - t A Brad D'hulst and his family from left) Daniel Shelby Benjamin and Emily Returning -- aw Deadlines lot Clitiuh Sens items pm luesdas at the Stan-daiI aminei main olthe or by J pm at the Laton office Pinnies i nil be published of dipaitins mis-- s III missionaries mil lonams onl spiak Sunday unless oiheimse not-iis 3 Sister Sarah Hale daughter of Di and Mrs Phillip N Hale ol Huntsville will serve in the Ohio ( olumbus Mission She will speak at the Huntsville 2nd Ward 27? S I ) I ast at I1' 8o a m Elder Jason M Bluemel son ol Ron and Mrpo Bluemel ol Iloop-- u will serve in the ( alilornia Oakland Mission He will speak at the Hooper full Waiel 4o75 W 5500 South at II am Elder Clint Gin and G Iverson son of Sue I s e i son n I intali will xu v c in the Spain las Palmas Mission lie will speak at the I in- - a? Elder Steven A Porter son ot Alan B and Judv A Porter of Brigham Cuv serv id in the Honda Tallahassee Mission He will speak at the Brigham ( its 13th Ward 28 f” it 4 f A a m ill missionai ies mil speak Sun da i unless ofliunise noted 'S ” i Elder Sheldon Child and his wife Sister Joan Child of Syracuse ork New A ork Mission where he will be mission president They will speak at the Syracuse 2nd Ward 2500 S Bluff Road at I 20 p m Elder Christopher Olpin Snell son ot Geotge and Claia Snell of kaysville will serve in the Brazil Campinas Mission He will speak at the kavsville 20th Ward S5a I Mutton Hollow Road at 1145 missionaries 1 d d 74 i irnytif MISSIONARIES will serve in the New ! : v V r" i ft Child tali 2nd Ward 6750 Road at 2 15 p nt Elder Richard L Snell Hale Iverson Bluemel Combe - N sf Steele t Broadbent S son of Steve and Julie Bioadbent ot Pleasant A lew will serve in the Japan Okavama Mission He will iew 6th speak at the Pleasant Ward 302 N 500 West at 10 40 A 4 x j X 7 a m Sister Amy M Steele daughter and Anne C Slide of Ojden will serve in the Portugal Lisbon South Mission She will speak at the Canvon View 1st Watd loot) Suncrest Drive at ol Jack B Id 80 a m Elder Scott Neville son ol Raymond and Carol N c v die ol kavsvilli will save in the Oicpon I iijuie Mission He will speak ai the kavsvilk Mil Watd 2oi S ooo I P ast at 10 80 a ni Elder Derek J Barclay son ol Rohirt and Nanis Bate! is ol 1 at 4 a m Elder Michael R Stokes son ol Dennis and Susan Stokes of North Ogden served m the Belgium Antwerp Mission He will speak at the North Ogden 3rd Ward 626 E 2()0 North at 10 45 am b Broadbent 300 Last Elder Jonathan Olpin Snell son of George and Clara Snell of kavsville served in the New A ork New A ork Mission He will speak at the kavsville 20th Ward 888 n Mut-lo- n Hollow Road at 1145a m Elder Glenn Weaver Neville Barclay will serve in the Pkaxint iew Germain Dtesden Mission He will A speak at the Pleasant A iew 4ih 900 AA Pleasant A iew AAjid Dmc at 2 40 p m Elder David W Dames son ol Norm Dames o! Noi'h Os dm will serve in the laiwan laipu Mis- sion He will speak at the Noith ik rt i Oj den ‘Mt y j j Asp j Daines Dmc at 10 Belnap 80 j m Sister Lucille J Belnap ol Rov "id serve in the Ievas Houston AIissioii Mk isn t having a taiiwdl serv in- I C spiak at tin North 0dcn 8th 2280 ruitlmd Drive at v AAaid a m I Sister Erika - Elder Barry Chapman son ol Robert and Patruia ( apman ol Noiih Ogden will serve in the onnuuuit Haitloid Mission Ik Johnson Chapman will L Johnson d AA is! R at 30 a m Sister High- ol Gordon S and Amu ha I lohnson ol Tavlot will servi in the koria Seoul AAesi Mission Mu will sptak at tlu lasloi 2nd AAjrd 22(10 x 4' o A i t at u i ni lit son of and Beverlv AAcaver ol Rov serv id in the Japan Tokvo North Mission He will spiak at tlu Roy nth Waul 7S4x S 2000 Travis Jacqueline Larsen daughtci ot RuIijh! M and lube I o si n ol North Ogden served in tlu AA i si A iipima ( hurlexton Mission Slu will spiak at tlu North r 0ikn I North at Mil AA j 1 12 so P til mu 28X0 |