| Show delightful INQUIRY THE investigation into the con duct of the receiver and his attorneys in the suits of the government against the church drags its slow length along 1 it is a matter for regret that we are under the necessity from day to day of escorting our readers through interminable labyrinths of cattle poultry sheep butter eggs and homemade che cheese unless we do this however we can give no account of what transpires in the examination in perusing the report of what takes place the idea is suggested that teat if the receiver had been compelled or impelled to hunt around for and husband sheep horses mules and jackasses jac kasses the probability isthan he would have seized by animals ornamented with various private brands the bona me owners of these brutes would doubtless have objected and his explanation as to the proceeding on the part of the marshal being an inadvertence would have been looked upon as too attenuated it would probably have become necessary under such circumstances for him to arrest himself on charges of grand larceny bring his case am to the attention of district attorney peters who is a also his own attorney and through that functionary before the grand jury that he might be indicted besides if he had seized the products enumerated during this examination and held them in store for the benefit of this great government the butter would mayhap have become equally as stale as the matter of which we are now speaking the cheese would probably in course of time have been mistaken for fossilized stumps of trees that thai existed in prehistoric pre historic times or 01 might have been taken for ancient grindstones this difficulty so 0 far fai as the cheese is concerned might have been overcome by inaugurating a lively trade in relies relics with the smithsonian Smith institute at washington DC it is more than likely too that the eggs would have resolved themselves into a condition that would have male made them acceptable to anti mormon rotten egotism being the form of logic frequently employed in answering the arguments of the elders this might have opened up another branch of business resulting in some profit with the northern and southern states in view of judge zanes deep solicitude for the school fund coupled with his overwhelming affection for the I 1 mormons cormons Mor mons 11 it is not improbable that an industry of that description would have been to him a source of deep gratification while the fund would have been augmented by accruing profits the consequential respects paid to the elders aders would probably have acted upon his nervous system as would a copious dose of mrs winslows Win slows soothing syrup would it not be as wellin well in view of the valuable horticultural information conveyed by some of the witnesses in this Inquiry for the officers and committees of the D A M society to be present at every session and take copious notes the knowledge thus acquired would doubtless be useful in the making of preparations for the next fair especially ally as the examination is deemed to be a fair proceeding how would it do for the chamber of commerce to adopts similar step for gleaning particulars with reference to the feasibility of manufacturing butter without hair bair with a view to applying the perfected to plaster on peb feb 6 there was some misunderstanding der standing about the payment of witnesses particularly those who had been summoned from a distance and whose testimony was not wanted the matter was adjusted after some discussion we are pleased to note this fact for had not this been done a number of people would have been placed under an injustice and at considerable disadvantage seeing that they had not journeyed to this city merely for the sake of their health they were certainly entitled to their expenses we see no reason why such a disagreement should have arisen inasmuch as it is an easy feat to cut shoe laces out of other peoples peopled leather it should be remembered that the fund accumulated by the taking of I 1 a large amount of property from a church appears to be legitimate prey therefore why should there have been any trouble as aa to the payment of these witnesses we are glad on their account that the matter has been made right with them As the investigation proceeds we will continue to supply the public with information relative to cattle sheep jackasses jac kasses mules stale butter mouldy bouldy cheese and the remains of venerable deceased porkers corkers por kers until the conclusion of this exceedingly pathetic drama |
