| Show THE WONDER OF seen RUNK? ' "'''4 ' °?---7- - Fic )4' teacher lad of Akron Ohio year-ol- d named Ronald Trash and a lady of Nottingham England named Lavinia St Leger Spool (the St Leger incidentally is pronounced Si !linger) As Walker pointed out in his own article baseball players ever the famous Batten Barton Durstine & Osborne stands muster if only because someone once described it as sounding like a trunk tumbling down a flight of stairs And I can't get a grocery firm in Miami Fla out of my mind: it is formally known as Ink & link Ink & Hink was reported to me by a friend in Florida and that is one of the nice things about being a neumenophile: everybody scouts around for you A young lady of Little Neck N Y phoned me one night to say she had just met a Blanche Flanche A business acquaintance wrote me to announce that he'd heard of a Baltimore man named Orlando Furioso Bump An editor friend told me he had read a manuscript offered him by Verna Bozung and a photographer made me a special visit directly after be had hired a model named Peep Tomberg offer an embarrassment of riches I shall not dwell upon them other than to say that my own favorite has been a catcher in the International League named Victor Pig I believe he is inactive now it will be hard to fill his shoes One other player deserves menLouis Brown infielder tion: ex-Henry Arft who sounds like what dogs say in comic strips Henry L Mencken is one of the few scholars who have delved into the field of neumenology and he has come up with some beauties: Chintz Royalty Julia C Barefoot St George Goatleg and Memory D Orange The last has a special fascination being so hauntingly pointless 346et Plias Masa WRITER Frank Sullivan is another scholar of sorts who has done a good bit in the field and will forever be applauded for two amazing discoveries: what unutterable delight he murt have felt at happening upon Miss Dagmar Sewer and Miss Mary Lou Wham! Name lovers do not often go in for company names it's too much like shooting fish in a barrel How ': ii 1t GOVIMISC azeols care of your tree Don't let any act of yours cause this and tragedy shining symbol of Christmas to burst into flame 'Take good 7r-41- ‘ 44 444-- 7 A iht" t (3 14-- 01 akr 1 4001gie Pt--' 04C I ) L - EDITOR'S NOTE: Author Rice will be pleased to hear from any neumenophiles who feel they have names of particular value lie cannot guarantee that such 'somes will be printed but he will undoubtedly swipe them for his own collection 2 11 - 1111 How to keep your Christmas merry DO choose a small tree It's less of a fire hazard Keep it away from radiators heaters fireplace Use wiring with the "U L" Label Dispose of gift wrappings promptly outside the house Take your tree down when needles start to fall DON'T use cotton paper or other flammable material for decorations Don't use candles Don't use frayed light strings or worn extension cords Don't overload circuits Don't leave tree burning when you go out Don't smoke or use matches near your tree k Tiriorty Here around this tree all of us find a welcome sanctuary Here on this day all of us can be grateful for the good fortune that is ours— to be living in a land where men of good-wi- ll created a nation free from oppression and with equal rights for all Timm an easy game and practically no rules One two three go folks! But stay away from M Fidelis Blunk — he's my property! 1 1 From now on a tree will always mean Christmas gay with tinsel and ornaments cheery with lights and color filling the house with its woodland fragrance ONCE I received a telegram from a cousin who said he had just learned that his wife went to school with a girl named Ming Toy Epstein and also had a teacher named Glory Bee (no relation to the famed basketball coach Clair Bee) Our own contributing editor Bennett Cerf offers a southern correspondent named zoe Posey One wonders why the field of neumenology is not teeming with devotees Not everyone can come up with an A Tosen Wean but by merely thumbing through the Almanac one can discover treas urea like Enos T Throop (Governor of New York 1829-32- ) It's Wor4 f his Id's Chnstmas 4 C i 14 t n 1 g C'("1644 aiL:! v lo'44en ttr names that will ring through the ages AN ADVERTISEMENT SPONSORED THEIR AGENTS AND BROKERS BY THE CAPITAL THROUGH STOCK THE NATIONAL -r 85 JOHN sTREL- NEW YORE FIRE INSURANCE N Y I o COMPANIES BOARD OF EMIL UNDERWRITERS M e11 o 4 ib INS 15 |
