OCR Text |
Show the THUNDERBIRD In COMMENTARY PHIL CHIDESTER Phil explains societys candy need have confession to make: I often find myself taking a mental stroll spectacle of a world from time to time, and I am only now fully realizing the ill effects such egotistical forays can have. This newspaper space has been, more often than not, nothing more than a public forum for my private anxieties and hangups. I have n ridden the verbal gamut from velcro paranoia to sentiment, from TV commercials to foreign politics; and yet this journalistic experience has done little to help me develop a true empathy for the views and attitudes of others. And so, in a landmark event of gothic proportions, I dedicate this edition of In Through the Out Door to a few issues of grave importance, not only to myself but to the peoples of the global community as well. Maybe writing these things down will help me understand more fully the aspirations of my fellowman; or then again, maybe the act will just keep me from having to try on so many different pairs of shoes. through MONDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 1990 N through THE OUT DOOR BY I SUSC Sponsored by The Journalists Guild Saturday, Feb. 10, 1990 a my own I am concerned first of all that we, as Americans, too often equate candy consumption with violence and deviant behavior. It all started with cinnamon bears, those cute little red jelly-lik- e creatures that stare shelves and tend to take up a permanent residency you down from on dental surfaces. Mountainmen of old were frustrated with their inability to rid wilderness territories of the mighty grizzly, so they shrunk d the problem down to pieces and worked their aggressions out by tearing the heads off spicy little candy bears with their teeth. PAGE A.M. 10 P.M.- -1 ALPINE LANES 421 E. Hwy 91 bite-size- Things wouldnt be so bad if we had stopped with the grizzly; but our nation seems to have developed a taste for the psychological transferral of stress into bits of chocolate. We all hate bookworms because we cant understand them, so we make a candy called Nerds and then grind them little suckers into oblivion every time the smart guy in our English class gets an A on a difficult exam. We chew on gummi worms and gummi snakes and gummi scorpions and gummi Bigfeet; we cruise the aisles at Smiths and Albertsons looking for social anxiety candies to digest; and I hear that now we even have Sour Patch Kids to help us deal with those bratty neighbors across the street. Are we really so much farther along than our collective ancestors, men who hid in caves and killed painted buffalo with toy spears? I am concerned as well with what happens to those items we Americans are constantly losing: socks and college transfer credits. Modern chemistry would have us believe that matter cannot be created or destroyed, merely transformed into another reality. Can you imagine the sheer thrill of discovering this mythical fountain of lost material in some discreet corner of the planet? But such a monumental achievement is, unfortunately, more than a few Scar Trek episodes away. Something tells me that all the lost socks of the world, and the globes missing college transfer credits as well are floating somewhere in another dimension, waiting for that soul intelligent enough to tap into the astronomical. And who knows? Maybe that gifted person is among us at this very moment! (Hint- - look for a guy who never wears matching n socks and who got out of taking PE 101 and at least 60 credits for no apparent reason.) And what do these thoughts have to do with passing time in a small southern Utah college town? Life is nothing more than watching a color television set with all the color control knobs turned down; we can be content with what weve got, or we can try to see the world from others points of view and in the process enjoy all the hues of the rainbow. Only by understanding together the little idiosyncracies that pull us apart, then can we shatter the bonds of pointless fear and and turn a fragmented world into a single global community of real merit and worth. Oh, by the way what are we going to do about all those illegal aliens pouring into the U.S. from our southern border? O Rent a VCR and 2 movies for only $5.00 Monday Thursday Only Good Feb. 1990 &n 3 O M 5-- fe An independently franchise owned Sounds of Easy Sounds Easy, 568 South Main. Rent 2 movies for 5.00 and third movie for get the FREE! Monday Thursday Only 1990 Good Feb. 5-- An mdeoendentiy cvnea franchise c Sounds Easy .Sounds Easy, 568 South Main OUNDS EASY CIRCLE DIKING TE-aUNDERBI- the New Student Center from 7 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. Open Daily upper-divisio- G in ntsnnaKiaaaBcsiaoGiiBBQB s in town Specials Breakfast Sandwich 99 Hot Homemade Soup 70 Deluxe Char Broiled Cheeseburger, Lg. Fries, and Lg. Fountain Drink Best Deal B $1.95 B Does anybody know of a store nearby that carries Hot Tamales? Please accept an invitation to WHAT IS FULFILLMENT? Who knows? Who cares? An open forum discussion Each Wednesday at 3:30 p.m. At SUSC BC 301 Martin Hnizdil & Russ Hall 1 109 S. 100 E. No. 8 586-154- Good Feb. 5 Through Feb. 18 5 |