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Show The Thunderbird. Monday January 28, 19 85 Page 5 THE THUNDERBIRD' EDITORIAL WRITING CONTEST Cachectic Observatory BY STEVE YATES Open to all students at Southern Utah State College. Second Prize: $25 First Prize: $50 Third Prize: $15 Rules: Another installment of pet peeves This weekend was a real drag for me. I was forced to do my least favorite chore. I had to clean house. It couldnt be helped though I had let things go too far. There were things living in my sink, and under my bed. There were gray stalactites hanging from the faucets in my bathroom. I knew that I had to get busy and clean things before it was too late when I saw a cockroach the size of a turtle run under my bed with a head of lettuce. My laundry hamper was starting to photosynthesize. I hate cleaning. When I am forced to clean house, I get into a very grim mood. When I am in a grim mood, I start thinking about all of the litte things that get on my nerves. I sit and brood about all of the weird, annoying things that people do. So, between rolling Raid Bug Bombs under my bed like hand grenades, and battling the malignantly intelligent cockroaches, I began my compendium of dislikes. Most of them are small things, and probably not very important in the general scheme of things, but they bother me nonetheless. I hate the way commercial products are always being passed off as cute, or clever. Everything from breakfast cereals to toilet paper, to deodorant has to be made cute. I am so sick of fuzzy little animated bears trying to sell me toilet paper. No matter how you tear it, toilet paper is not cute. Why do these various companies insist on misspelling the name of the product, or leaving out certain letters. Substituting a Ks for Cs is always popular seeing a product labeled Krispy Korn bothers me terribly. Leaving the F off of the word of also bothers me I will The real drag of it is that not buy a product that says, Loads-o-Fulittle kids read this stuff and think that that is the way things are spelled. We have enough of an illiteracy problem in this country without the advertisers making it worse. Another thing that bothers me is the people in television commercials. The one that really bothers me is the one for steak sauce, with the whacky uncle who says, What is hamburger ground ham? No, its ground steak! Then everyone at the table laughs uproariously at his wonderful wit. Sorry to tell you this, Uncle Foodbubble, but hamburger is not ground steak its ground up inferior fatty meat. I am also bothered by real life people who go into the library with Walkman style headphones on to cover the noise of other people. This is all well and good, but these same people often insist on talking to other people while they are listening to their headphones. It is an odd phenomenon, but people wearing headphones invariably yell when they talk. Stop it. Speaking of music I also become annoyed with people who carry radios around campus with the volume set to extra those suitcase-size- d loud. I am pleased that they enjoy music, but I am not pleased to have it inflicted on my ears. I always have to laugh when I see someone trying to walk across campus with a lidless styrofoam cup of coffee without spilling any of the scalding liquid. Why do they always stare fixedly at the cup, as if their gaze alone could keep the fluid from slopping out? They would be better off watching their own feet, because they always stumble and spill down the leg of their pants. Usually at this point, they curse the as if it was the coffees fault. stupid coffee The snack bar could help out with this problem if they would simply order some lids that fit the cups. It would be greatly appreciated by all of us students who start out of the snack bar with a full cup of coffee, and wind up at our destination with half a cup and scalded legs. Well, this is only a tiny portion of my dislikes. I have run out of space. I hate running out of space. Just when I get on a roll, I find that Im almost over the limit. Oh, well, I guess if I planned these columns out a little bit more, I wouldnt have this problem. Well, I have done very little in this column, except perhaps reveal my own intolerant personality. Maybe I should mend my ways... learn d to see the good side of things... don my glasses and become a pleasant understanding person, and.. Naahhh. Too much work. Its easier to be a pessimist. rose-colore- If we had no faults we should not take so much pleasure in noting Due de La Rochefoucauld (1613-168those of others. MAD ABOUT SOMETHING? WRITE A LETTER TO THE EDITOR 1. Editorials must deal with matters of direct concern to SUSC students, or matters of concern to students in general. Editorials should be written to editorial style, as exhibited in the editorial on page 4 of The Thunderbird each week. 2. Submissions must be typed, and must be between 500 and 600 words in length. Name, address, student number and telephone number (if any) must be on the back side of the entry. 3. There is no limit to the number of entries you can submit. 4. DEADLINE: Jan. 31 at 5 p.m. Entries may be dropped off at'The Thunderbird by the deadline; late entries will not be considered. 5. Only SUSC students are eligible to enter the contest. 6. PRIZES: $50 for first place; $25 for second place; $15 for third place. All entries, including those that win and those that do not, will be considered for publication in The Thunderbird. Submitting an entry to the contest constitutes permission for The Thunderbird to publish at any time. 7. Entries which are published by The Thunderbird may be rewritten and revised by the editors as they see 8. fit. Judges final. Iff for the contest are the editor and managing editor of The Thunderbird. Their judgment is youve got the lunchroom blues, put on your uralMng shoes and move it to Pizza Muti Get on the track for an after-scho- snack! ol Free medium soft drink when you try either of our Personal Pan Pizzas! Pepperoni $1.59 11 a.m. $1.99 Supreme to 4 p.m.! Briny in this coupon' , 1985 Pizza Hut Inc FREE Medium Soft Drink Get a free medium soft drink when you purchase either a pepperoni or supreme Personal Pan Pizza. WITH THIS COUPON Valid at the participating Pizza Hut restaurant below through ,f) 'fflkitt Not good with other discounts or coupons. One coupon per customer per visit. Cash redemption value 1985 Pizza Hut Inc. 1 20th cent. Come on in to Pizza Hut and show your student I.D. and get $2?,,OIK$lh00( on any large pizza Expires February 12, 1985 Off on any medium pizza |