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Show dedicated that her first performance of "Nola" was her last. She limped off the stage and I never saw her again. Then there was Swanson and His Dancing Alligators. Swanson was a flop and converted his act into a traveling luggage business. y was a precocious child, could sing before I could walk. When I was 16 my I mother told me, "Charlie, stop singing and learn how to walk." by Charlie Manna Charlie Manna started nit studying opera , but turned to com-?dwriting his own offbeat material, career as a comic he has n his appeared in major nightclubs across the. country and countless times on television. He is a particular favorite on the talk shows. Although Manna is a winner and his humor covers a variety of human foibles he has become a specialist on losers. He even wrote a book on the subject, A LOSER IS. . ., published by Simon and iDITOR'S NOTE: y, 16-ye- ar Schuster. "Losers," he says, "come from all backgrounds , and hearing about losers like the guy who sticks his hand out to make a left and smacks a cop makes people feel good. There's always someone worse off than you. " For instance, A LOSER IS a guy who plays hide and seek and nobody looks for him. ... "A LOSER IS teeth. "A LOSER IS . . .a vampire with buck ... a woodpecker in a petrified forest." Asked about winners, Manna says: " I've been trying to find jokes on them but it's tough. The only winner I could come up with was the man shot by a jealous husband." Herewith some of his favorite jokes, And the Army, now that was the place that led me into show business. I started producing, writing and performing in small service revues. One of my most popular revues was a musical comedy version of the Civil War with a surprise ending. saloons throughout the country that I was given a citation during National Tavern Month. I've played on bills with some of the world's greatest performers who strangely never got anywhere. For instance, Myrna and Her Musical Saw. She was a very dedicated musician. So Father to mother: "At least this report card proves our son isn't taking any drunk at a cocktail party says to a beautiful girl: "I'll let you kiss me if you can tell what I've got in my hand." d "A canary," she answers. "That's close enough," says the drunk. A 500-poun- I've played in so many nightclubs and This fight manager is talking to one of his fighters. "If I told you once," he said, "I told you a hundred times I can't get you a fight with Punchy McGurkyl You're Punchy McGurky!" mind expanding drugs."' 80-year-o- ld autobiographical and otherwise: "Well," said the cabby, "I've always lived in Florida, maybe that's why, but I'd appreciate any place you can send me where it's warmer." So St. Peter sent him to the warm pUce. But he felt troubled abouf the cabby and so six months later he went to visit Satan. "Remember the cabby I sent you six months ago?" he asked, and a voice in the background yelled: "Shut that door, there's a draft!" heard of a cab driver who never had a harsh word for any of his passengers. Naturally, he went to heaven. However, he said he kept feeling cold. "I never heard of such a complaint," said St. Peter "We're thermostatically controlled here 72 degrees I Psychology tells us that it is bad to be an orphan, terrible to be an only child, damaging to be the youngest, crushing to be in the middle, taxing to be the oldest. There is no way out except to be born adult. Perhaps it's only coincidence, but man's best friend can't talk. Recently I was sick for two weeks and got a card that said, "Get well quick" it was from Blue Cross. ' n ij G. DOLE "It's simple. K I run my homework through my dad computer. s "Do you have a little old bone for my dog under $2?" for 35 |