Show THE TWO OLD PALS AND THE CALL FOR FOP HELP once there was a Marri married odMan man who lie had bad two friends whom he be had not given up even to oblige the missus they were two men whom he had known alace Boy hoods happy days away back in sleepy hollow once in a while the man would have the two around to the house for dinner of these two friends one was a gus gusher her and the other a grouch the gusher was eternally bubbling in g over with compliments ana and K kind I 1 n 1 I wishes whenever lie he met ah acquaintance tance he handed him a rhetorical yard of daises and then smeared him with sweet endearments ills his talk never hid had any specific herport Per port it was unadulterated adulterated con the gusher should have been in ili the diplomatic abic service one of his hot specialties was to get up at dinner parties and propose toasts ile he would hot air the ladies until they flushed crimson crim aon from the joy of being hot d even it if the speech was known to be cut and dried blarney it never failed to swell the adorable creatures as lie called them lie he had a pump handle shake shahe for every eatery man he met and after the see second secand day lie he called him old fellow and inquired as to his health in a tone of trembling solicitude and picked little pieces of lint off his coat 1 I know now its guff the man would say after the gusher had passed on but my stars ile he can ladle out that soothing syrup and never spill a drop the grouch on the other hand band gave a i correct imitation of a bear with a sore toe his conversation was largely made up of grunts he carried a facil expression that frightened little children in street cars and took all tile the starch out of sentimental young ladies ile he seemed perpetually to carry the hoof marts of 0 f a horrible nightmare some said that he had been blighted in love and had soured on the universe otters ers imagined that his liver was out of whack at any rate he ha was shy on sweetness and light hi ali dial suggested a map of the bad lands arid and he was just out of kind words he could knock better than he when the gusher would ailse ai also at the dinner table to blow bubbles and distribute candy tile the grouch would slide down in his chair until lie he was resting on his shoulder blades ile he seemed to have a calomel taste in ili his mouth as ile be listened to to the musical drip of the mush and that kind of language went with some ome people but nix for sweeney the wife of the married man liked tile the gusher and tolerated the grouch every time the gusher came into the flat he held her hand a little longer than necessary and looked into her hazel eyes and told her she was becom becoming inq younger and more charming every day after a woman turns the 30 corner those speeches are worth a dollar a word because she finds herself guessing Guess irig at times husband never was jealous lie ile knew that the gusher told every wonia woman n the thing playing no favorites when the grouch came to see then them lie he said how are you and then be Ito hick on the weather alq and tell about his rheumatism one thing was certain the grouch never would get a wife unless he took her on a mortgage every husband has a few friends who come in tor for hard raps from the leife wife and the grouch got all that was co mingto him slid she used to declare up ond and downs down that she was going to break his plate and revoke his fils license husband would remind her that he and the grouch had roomed at college and done the comrades oin rades act ever since they were eoys boys lie he would assure her that the grouch was a good fellow but you on had to know him thirty or forty bears before you found it out he would smooth her down and straighten out her feathers and she would agree to give the grouch just one more chance it came about that one year the married man got gay and swam out to eliere it was over ills his head in his keen anxiety to enlarge his business lie he took on oil about three tons of liabilities ninety days make but a fleeting span when notes are falling due one day the married man found himself hanging on the edge of the gully with a choice of jumping to the rocks below or waiting to be scalped scalded ped it was not a dignified thing to do but he had bad to yell for assistance and ell plenty he hot footed to the gusher friend of his youth and godfather god father rather to his children ile he explained that his heels were beating a tattoo on the ragged edge of insolvency and unless he be could raise the wind it meant a receiver over at the works his credit evaporated and the minaola to the hock shop the gusher listened with tears in liis fils eyes ees in a voice all choked up with sobs he tendered its his sympathy and his sincere hope that all would yet be well he told hini him it grieved him to see a friend go under the rollers lers it tore ills his heart it did for sure in fact it had so et him that he would have to go out into the air so lie he lid did an olga exit with one land hand oer ills his streaming eyes and the lifelong life long friend sat there with salt water spattered over him and nothing in his hand As yoon foon as ho he had dried his clothes lie ie went to the grouch and candidly owned up that lie he was on the waiting list for or the poor house unless lie he could lorrow borrow enough to it tide de him b 0 er e r As might have lieen been expected the grouch began to roast him ile he told him that he have as much business Gumption las as a belgian hare and a chump who would walk into debt with his eyes open deserved to get it right at the collar if youre looking for sympathy youve barked barkell up the th e wrong tree said the grouch im not was the reply keply ive just received enough sympathy to la atme all winter the grouch snarled and reached for his check book you can have whatever you need but you dont deserve it he said and lie he signed it leaving it blank above in view of the fact that you have saved ray illy life I 1 will try to forgive you for lacerating my feelings said the married man they retained the flat but the grouch is just as unpopular as ever george ade |