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Show ;6C DESERET NEWS, Wednesday, July 29, 1970 E22 PIN DAILY 10-1- 0; SUNDAY 10-- 7 WED., IHUKS., Mil., SAY. Kiwe Ccfnray A DMiiMaf &J&Kt Jr fp W .if tk, How To Handle Marriage Disputes - Too much NEW YORK reckless talk is a big factor in broken marriages today, and the widespread encouragement now given husbands and wives to express your emotions and dont be inhibited is the worst advice possible. These beliefs are emphasized by Elmo Ellis in a new book, Happiness Is Worth by the Effort, published Hewitt House of Fleming II. Revell. Getting angry and letting fly with your feelings may do irreparable damage to the most stable union, Mr. Ellis warns. It may just be one of the worst things you can do to a marriage. Anger is often more hurtful than the injury lhat caused it is a proverb worth noting by all wives and husbands. Instead of exploding and saying things that will later be regretted, it is far wiser to deal with marital disagreements on a more constructive and rational basis, he says. .s FIVE POINTERS $10 OFF! Elegantly styled HUMAN HAIR WIG JSff: 4 Dayt Only Instant beauty! Vibrant human hair to match your own or give exciting new color, in a wig that r tretches to fit! Blondes, darks, frosteds! Beautiful savings, tool In our Mlllinery-Handbafi-W- in Dept. Fascinating New Toy On Market In Happiness Is Worth the Mr. Elmo recomEffort, mends five pointers to help settle the most pesky marital disputes, as follows: 1. Try to be considerate of the others viewpoint. It always takes two to make an argument, and only by calmly looking at both sides of a question can you ever expect to resolve differences in a lucid and peaceful manner. 2. Bide your time. Theres always a temptation to raise a question or start an argument too quickly. Its far wiser to wait. Hold your tongue and mull over the matter festering in your own mind. Is it really as serious as you first thought? Oftentimes a second T Foil RULES toward resolving the worst sumes command and you are donnybrooks. its prisoner. Remember always that honest differences can be in adjudicated marriages when there is genuine love, trust and respect. Marital problems are never too tough to work out for two persons who want a common solution rather than a stalemate. Where the desire exists, the answers can be found, Mr. Elmo writes. MkPiTALililSFUrES DON'T REVEAL SECRETS He also advises married and everyone else couples not to tell all their secrets. Some consideration results in your dropping a matter before it becomes a cause of serious confrontation. BE COMPASSIONATE DONT NAME CALL 3. If cussed, a problem must be dis- play fair. Dont name-cal- l, or make wild accusations. Keep your discussion zeroed in on the subject, not on your partners faults or on what some third party might have said. Try to hold your voice down and your temper under control. If you receive a harsh verbal jab and resent It very much, dont yell or strike back blindly. Try to figure out what the accusation really signifies. Use your head, not your emotions. 4. Dont run away and hide, physically or figuratively. If you go silent, you will not correct any troubles, but only compound them. Nothing is more infuriating to a wife or a husband than trying to talk C' i'i' . '' a dumb partner. On the other hand, be smart enough to shut up and listen when you should. with 5. Keep your talk on a rational plane. Try to hold back tears which are an unfair weapon, and never use physical force. Be gentle, compassionate and mindful of your manners. Your willingness to talk and your obvious affection will go a long way secrets are for he reminds. people reveal useless, or even harmful, secrets about themselves when it isnt necessary, he writes. This occurs frequently with the individual who Is conscience - stricken, or so desirous of attention that he is willing to demean himself to be new outdoor toy to chalyoungsters and fascinate adults is a molded lightweight plastic ring. It can be used as a flying disc, cr it can give some new color to the old game of horseshoes. A So keep at least a few choice bits of intelligence locked up, even from the ones nearest and dearest to you. And dont worry if thk means lenge Be An Airline Stewardess that there is a part of you that goes unshared with the one you love most. The number of secrets shared or withheld Is not what makes or breaks a human relationship. 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