Show YOUR experience this is for business men how many have had tills this experience one morning an energetic little man idan who had about a ton ot of work piled up on his desk came down town with a hop skip and jump determined ter mined to clean up the whole layout before nightfall ile he had taken eight hours or of slumber and a cold dip in the porcelain after breakfast he came out into the spring sunshine feeling as fit as a riddle fiddle and as snippy as a oung colt me afe to the office to get that stack of ct letters off my mind said the hopeful citizen when lie he dashed into the office lie he carried pounds of stearn steam and was keen for the attack A tall man ilan with tan whiskers arose from behind the roll top lop desk and greeted him how are you feeling this morning asked the stranger swell and sassy was the reply and yet tomorrow you may join the appendicitis colony and lay day after tomorrow you man lie in the darkened front room with floral offerings off brings on all sides said the stranger what you want is one of our non twenty year pneumatic policies with the reserve fund clause kindly glance at this chart suppose you take the re actionable endowment with the special proviso permitting the accumulation of both premium and interest on a policy for twenty years you make clear whether you live or die while the company loses as sou aou can call see for yourself this Is s my began the man or you may prefer the automatic tontine policy with ball bear ings continued the death angel in this case the entire residue goes into the sinking fund and draws compound Jil interest terest this Is made possible under our new system of reducing operating expenses to a minimum alln mum and putting the executive derailment Depatt ment into the hands of well known new york financiers who ilo do not seek pecuniary rewards but are actuated by a philanthropic de fire to do good to all persons living west of the alleghenies this will be about all from you said the man maa mosey duck up an alley then sou aou dont care what becomes ot of your family asked the stranger in a horrified tone my aly relatives are collecting all of their money in advance said the man alan it if they are not worrying over the future I 1 dont see why you should lose any sleep 0 so o the solicitor went out and told every one along the that the man afan lacked foresight at 99 0 the industrious little man alan picked up letter number one and said to the blonde eapher dear sir at that moment the head of the credit department hit him on the back and said he had a good one it was all about little frankie the only child the the forty pound prodigy in every large establishment there is a gurgling parent who comes down in the morning with a story concerning the incipient depew out at their house it seems that little frankle frankie has been told something at sunday school and he asked his mother Alother about it and she told him so and so whereupon the infant joker arose to the emergency and said and alien you get it and any one who laugh is lacking in a finer appreciation ot of child nature the busy man listened to Fr ankles latest and asked the rest of it so the parent remarked to several people that day that the man alan was Fink trig into a crabbed old age at 1010 a in the hie man alan repeated dear sir and a voice came to him remarking on the beauty of tile the weather A person who might have been professor of bee culture in the pike county agricultural seminary so far as make up was concerned took the man afan by the hand and informed him that lie he the man was a prominent citizen and that being the case he would be given a reduction on the halt half morocco edition while doing this words a minute he worked a keller trick and produced a large prospectus from under tinder his coat before the busy man alan could grab a spindle and defend himself he was looking at a halftone half tone photo ot of aristotle and listening to 0 o all the different reasons why the work should be in every Gent lemans library then the agent whispered the inside price to him so that the stenographer would not hear and began to fill out a blank the man alan summoned all his strength and made a buck 1 I dont read books lie he said 1 I ani am an intellectual nit clear out so the agent gave him a couple of pitying looks and departed meeting in the doorway a popeyed pop eyed person with his list hat on the back of his head and a roll of blue prints under his arm the man looked up tip and moaned ile he reco recognized nihed his visitor as a most dangerous monomaniac the one who is building a house and wants to show the plans ive got everything figured out lie he began except that we cant bet from the dining room to the library without going through the laundry and theres no flue connecting with the kitchen what do you think id better do 1 I think you ought to live at a hotel was the reply the monomaniac went home and told his wife that lie had been insulted at 1130 came a committee of ladies soliciting funds for the home for the friendless those who are friendless dont know their own luck said the busy man alan whereupon the ladies went outside and agreed that he was a brute at noon he came out and lunched on oil blomo seltzer when he rushed back to tackle his correspondence he was met by a large body of walking delaga delegates t es who told him that he bad had employed a nonunion non union man to paint his barn and that he was a candidate for the boycott he put in an hour squaring himself and then he turned to the stenographer how far have we got be asked dear sir was the reply just then lie he got the last straw a bewildered rutus rufus with a letter of introduction that took 40 minutes when rufe walked out the busy man alan fell with his face among the unanswered letters call a cab he said the phone is out of order was the reply ring for a messenger he said she pulled the buzzer and in 20 minutes there slowly entered a boy form the telegraph office the man let out a low howl like that of a prairie wolf and ran from tile the office when he arrived at home lie he threw his hat at the rack and then made the children hack back into the coiner and keep quiet his wife told around that henry was working too hard moral work is a snap but the intermissions do up the nervous system george ade |