Show SHORT AND SHARP A man winds up his clock to make it run and his business to make it stop what is that which no rio ong ona wishes to to have and no one wishes to lose jose A lia baid bald ld head the verses 1 I love to steal awhile a weigh are supposed to have been written by a grocer given to short abort measures measures A taylor speaking of the winter correctly I 1 there Is ignot not much change in gentle rn amna pants this month there is a shop kept by an old maid in new now york 2 in the window of which appear these words no reamona reasonable le offer refused A book publishers advertisement reads in press against her will some women do object to being squeezed some sometimes t imes slanders issuing from red and beautiful lips are like foul spiders crawling from the blushing hnit hsiu of a rose some one suggests I 1 ers era place Cleo patras needle til iii Thread needle street but acu it be just as its proper to tu elt alt alick j it in the outskirts why W hy ti d you pass yesterday without looking aume aeme at mec mee said a lit woman to 10 tallyrand tally rand because madam if it I 1 had looked I 1 could not have passed 22 never catch me marrying a reformed man said eaid a wise little ogden girl when I 1 get marrie married d it will be to some man that need reforming times are so hard that some of the most gifted orators on the platform announce that they will lecture this winter for chickens apples and cordwood honor asks Fal fai falstaff staiT thaila easy any woman who sits behind another woman in church can tell on her in two mi mf minutes dear laura when we wera were rousting ting you were very de dear cearto arto to me roe but now inow you are my wife and I 1 am ana paying your bills you seem to toi get dearer and dearer the man who charged david with extravagance for singing the trees of the field shall clap their hands forgot that therease there aie are such things as palm trees A richmond negro who pawned his shotgun shot gun for a marriage licence baid bald said sald about a week after the tho th ceremony was performed that he was always afraid the gun would be the death j A canadian priest lately 8 sued a young man whom he be ba hal bal I in married tor lor his hia wedding fee which be he stated at 15 the jury found for the defendant on the ground that the youth had received no appreciable value child children ren sald the pr addressing the infant class children do you know that you were all born in sin 1 94 please 9 sir air interrupted a little one 1 I w a ant I 1 was waa born in new oric orie orleans ans aus ll 11 Well the same thing said the teacher impatiently A purchaser ser on being served with ground coffee at a store asked are thero them beans in this coffee no bir sir answered the clerk how do you know knoopf sneered the purchaser because we ran out lut of beans thursday and had to put peas in jn instead the circus season la Is past and gone and aud the me iuan juan who sold his heating stove for two full and five half tickets now steps around to the bunny side of the house to warm his feet but his heart glows glowa with honest happiness when ho be remembers how the baby enjoyed seeing the animals come to td the tha capitol while we are in session and ill PI g give ive lve i you a seat on ou the floor fi odthe of the house salda 1 saida a member of congress lo 10 one of df his supporters who called tipon him in washington I 1 well weil no I 1 i thank y you ou sa said sald ld the country man poor pour as s I 1 am 1 I always manage to have a cheer to sit on at home and I 1 come heer beer to sit antho on the floor flo or 11 |