| Show 7 SHORT AND SHARP I 1 men best posted say that ninety nine women out of a hun hundred red returning from europe smuggie smuggle ug it goods g oo 00 a of some sort the h hundredth t one gets her husband to smuggie smuggle for her A new anew england philosopher phil say saye i h decant nind find out where the eart cart earth leaves oun off and aud the air begins lei him fail fall backwards from a fence and aud hell soon find and out free press the new york times says that thelded the idea of teaching every girl to thump a piano and every boy to bt a bookkeeper will make potatoes potatoe worth 4 per bushel in twenty year from now A par PaT parisian islan isian recently fished a ma man out of the waterland wat erand a quarter of ah ab hour later liter found the same man hanging to a tree the mayor asked him why he did not interfere to prevent the suicide imply simply ht hf answered because I 1 presumed he had bad hung himself up to dryll dry I 1 someone praising the conjugal peace enjoyed by a gentleman iu liu the neighborhood who had not had evin even an argument with his wife for more than thirty years appealed to to paley whether it were not ad mirable as a domestic example nae doot said the doctor it was verra praiseworthy but it must have been beeri very dool 11 1 1 I 1 A haywards haywardo Hay wards woman believes in having everything in readiness she purchased a coffin for her sick husband ten days prior to hk hh death and kept ke p t it in the house she also had a stylish mourning suit made in an anticipation of thin event most any man would b willing to die it if he had such a thoughtful wife as that A gentleman in search of a su au burban home honrie visits a house in th the country the outlook is not all that it might be remarked he oh sir air how can you say that exclaimed the proprietor why it commands a view of station 11 very true I 1 noticed that but I 1 dont think that mends the matter abek 1 I beg your pardon sir ita its a very gay outlook on sees ali all the people that mibs miss the train A clean cleaned ed out speculator in dos des io pair calls upon a baron of the grand species sir says he in a faltering voice 1 I address myself to you thinking that you might furnish rne me with employment I 1 am ruined I 1 took look shares in all your enterprises any assistance 1 11 I should be gla glad to do so replies the financier but you see a man in my employment has got to have a certain amou abou amount it of penetration and intelligence I 1 am afraid you would no not do 21 A A society for the 1 mental improvement provene pro at of cats has been formed in belgium this is a good move e teach a cat that thai it is an all exhibition of bad manners and ill III breeding to set on a back fence and king sing the star spangled banner until an hour after midnight or discuss the presidents Preal dents southern policy with several of its friend friends until the same hour and the rain of bootjacks boot booi jackb jacks shaving shaving cups profanity proba lity empty bottles and such things 3 from second and third story atory windows I 1 will immediately cease I 1 the circus is coming again and once more wew we bew will III have the pleasure of witnessing the cheerful spectacle of seven church bemben taking one little two year old child chila to see the animals 1 11 I go into the circus department said a good deacon after the last moral circus was here but I 1 dropped in to look around the menagerie nagele Ine a few moments with my little gra Rr andson and F r do think the man that t tied tiei his legs in a bow knot around hi 12 neck and then crawled through t ro thi t e hoop was alone worth tho the price ot adm haw Saw feye much las been written about jm meanest eanest kanand at last the meanest woman has af arisen figen bhe she Sheon lj allows her daughter buttons buttong or on her summer dress As tho philosophy 0 ol 01 ancient komo kome and greece lighted her taper at abc israels israelis altar BO so the sweetest strains of the pagan muse must were swept from the harps attuned on zions hlll jisho bisho p thompson baom taom peon A youil young peoples peopled temperance league has been organized at ana goo sa the girls wear blue and ancl white ribbons and the boys red tc to which the white la Is added if the they also swear off on tobacco A per sonin the course of some remarks in a prayer meeting having several times observed that b he hould should never forget the dying word worde of if his brother the pastor suggested that it might bo bu well for tor him to re peat them whereupon on with some tation and scratching of his head he be said eaid that they had slipped his mind |
