Show CH STUDENT LIFE Pact1 Two IC IC Published weekly by students of the Utah State- - Agricultural College Printed by The Herald-JournPrinting company Entered as second class mail matter Sept 1908 at Infill Utah under act of March X 189X-- Acceptance for mailing at special rate of postage provided for in Section 1113 Act of Oct X August 22 1918 Subscription rate $109 per year in her honor Rachel Fortie Virginia Nilsson 1 bursday evening Ber-nk- e at the home of Ml" H J Hate h and Theme Ila Bover Fern CO-ED CASTINGS Nilsson were dinner guests MIKL MITTERINGS BY Joe Rich and ji’Gtk i it— — Vl Jack Johnson Thursday at the Prrosis house Aldon Goates of Utah Lnixersity fans FRAIG1ITON get i- - ByMRGIE Alright evening Science has unearthed a Pi Kaps were guests at the losl a load of this— a little scotch i DAILY EPITAPH of 6000 years ago which goes to Prunella Pttfledinkie opens the Mis Hazel towards entertained chatter house last Saturday right (Published Weekly! prove that even a dead flapper COED CASTINGS — bid with (he catchy little warb- the memoers of Alpha Sigma Nu can make' men dig I — When I Carmen Halverson told “There's something one gag ling I Coach Heher Whiting Ace JohnAbout the death of Sam week Miss En-n- a last — evening ' said an Girl and Fashioned about Old my telephone number of Nor'b Editor-In-Chie- f' Smith and Miss Grace Re- son and Lyle Tripp Hufaness Manager Some things you might find in- "call me up sometime — don't be but it isn't Fellows” This friend-- i and new mem- Cacho High Schcol were guests at I as weep groan sadly chosen were mand out— censured to is know the latest was eat teresting thing fussy Ill anything" she Phone S43 ij — Phone 7Cf ( the Pi Kap house Saturday The moustache can never be prone to disbelieve that I ha i He died too soon he died before only yesterday under the direction bers of the fraternity B He paid me back that loan owners of the cony-rigforehead the Experiupon grown a telephone I assure my Beta Delta Sorority held final we And here ( Phi Upsilou ments have shown that the upper Kappa Chapter that we truly have a A 1 have Alonzo and Tidwell the two Omicron initations last Monday night for SONG OF THE SHIRK EconoHome National Is will it the Editor that only place lip Managing ?rank Fonnesheck phone though it's been out of from the Styx (where-eve- r Texas (Apologies to Thomas Hood of gentlemen held final Initia- the following girls: Phyllis Flnmm mics Fratern-tthrive order It's coming along splendidly Editor Assist of as in the devil that iB!) Horace Hulme he's dead course anAlthough tions Sunday evening at the Homo Nada Rich Vivian Smith Bertha ' " now however exand needs Alonzo" Homfcf and just Associate Business Mgr a Ford Dorothy Harris Dolma Nelyhow)''0' Stephen Dunford Economics cottage for Miss Io Swtuerand the natives find ercise “Howdi todweU” seven 4Fife and Miss Bqth Mer- son Florence Perrin Following - Sports Editor “Yer lookin' fairly bucsome toit extremely difficult to pus on To return to Carmen: The gal's With figure weary and wan Boyd II Henrj With eyelids heavy and dull initations luncheon was served nt rill day Alonzo" their Shoes ‘without stooping ov- psychic cause the Ouya board Ass’t Seqttft EdUhr he w Howard i stude reeled in at two a m — "Hey? Bucksome y'say? ’ How's After the ceremonies dinner was the chapter house I er that Edith Funk made says so A ’Twas a — Society Editor Henrj Knott Frances that Tidwell - - hov'that now served at the Hotel Ecrles Those plain that he was full which We asked It pne night who was Feature Editor Lois Lunt huh?" ' SOCIAL CALENDER were Miss Crace Starr two ( Scientists have proved that it is assisting its evil machinations and Drink! drink! drink! “Well Alonzo wbat I mean in charge Humor and May Swenson Class Party Feb 5 Though he came to college to Gladys Sophomore Miss Fcm rnd Shipley Ima impossible for the elephant to it says “C H“ because it gave — — er— well is sorta y’understand work Valentine Chi Omega Girls Sports Formal Vtdeee Aixlerstm pnd Virgia Fraughton build its nest for its young in the us to understand she was psychic from bolstered old white with up good And still with a voice that 'was Mule 5 ' announ-tes'th- e Feb oak even trees of — the Theta Nest Crows a contn Hai“The Sorority case H” tops here's for Miss and Upsilon (“C stands Ruth ton’ y'know Funk Edith Clay aad father 6' — thick " TVirtWCEriSival Feb' where whrte— mirkesr- red1” ” pany pledging of ClarreT'ainicc' verson) Whadava Column Bryce Anderson - — Q11 cotd"days if c "phtnroStaph is' One little item that I do admire “ He sang the “Song of the Theta Uosilon Valentine Party ‘ “Aw right now Alonzo y’ and Vivian Wangsgard icaC Ruby -' Typist g ninny-muShirk" ol’ son uv a Dairies Feb 12 his a not wound at intervals it will soon in Halverson is her complete insalamander! Ef you don't like Typist Utah Forrester's Brawl Fib run down and stop This will al- souciance City i Lulij Punii (and don't you get the look uv my nose y'kin just R K so happen oh' warm days Mrs Helen D Brand national 12 Typist Re Wiramer at that Work ? Frankly “Shirk! shirk! shirk! prickly it— alL that’s Leser” Well lump brafn is tired and dim For the Delta Phi Dancing Party Feb Sl’PP officer for Theta Upsilon Sorority it’s new with me and is gonna ! — good! 4 ‘4 A quit visited the local HAD The people of Italy prefer to get a great deal of use ) She Shirk! shirk! shirk! Sigma chapiev 13 nose smashing my your against But keep in the social swim! Ui eat their breakfast in the morn- chews gum — or paraffin — with Military Ball Feb 19 fist will yuh? Land sakes be yer last week A dinner was given Dance and party and drink rEVTl RE WRITERS cent age but don't grow carats on yer ing rather than at any other time more real enjoyment than mos Drink and party and dance find brow” of the day A lot of us chew gum for emDEMOCRACY! Veda Tremelling And pray that the prof won’t A II Gibbons and “Ah c'raon Tidwell ol' boy don't us chew it another lot of phasis our Marie Singleton a now mad Y’know pull well quiz git Fife very Austin Pspchoiogists tell us that it re- because the other lot do but Car(This should be read with rising - ketl But don't study by any chance! y1 told me to lump it and lump Grant Red ford Francis Knott inflection of voice until it en Is quires almost twice as much wind men Halveison chews it because Can it I did— only the lump's on yer Lulu Mae Jenkins for a person to play a cornet as she likes it in a high pitched wail ) solar plexis — heh heh right on the atio “I think you look plenty keen ’Oh but for one short hour — sexes— er — the rolar pexels it does to play a violin wen polar SPORT WRITERS A respite however brief! —on well— tsh tsh ” with the new hair cut Miss HalU S Fleet cruising in Shang-- j post Paul Geddes An hour to rest my weary bones "Do re me — te turn (ahem) I opined Stephen Dunford It has been proven that oue verson hai waters —100 million Japanese Guy Farrell do re me — tumty dum dum — didSpencer And corner a little sleep! “All the girls are doing it now ed I should never cross a bridge before and 250 million Chinese warring Sherman lloyd Low you knew" she told me sweetly A little study would do me good dle“Ohde rum—" it is finished over Manchuria no y1 don’t — no V’ don’t with But head my seve aching I it a little “Personally 10 prefer million people in U S Nope” I couldn't rend and I couldn't Tidwell fair: REPORTERS of Pointing to the distant peak longer— but then there's—” “Aw dry up Yer only a wet innocent starving hundreds think swore Can I'd y leave Crop-le(I Virg Ph Young asked an idolent e men being murdered lawfully besmack anyway I’m trying to n Berdie to in So have crawl botl Pollie of i out bed” Allen Lee Orville this!) think up the chune t’thet hi its name Horace Hulme cause of antiquated laws ani incl “Like school?"' '' —“Dear Me where can the ditty “That there mountain?' replied Bat“technecalities" Robinson Ray Nelson Hugh Fuller Austin Fife Dale elon ADVICE TO THE “Yes” — ter be" :be lazy one “that's Catfish moun y'know thet famous ole AND U S FLEET CRUISES Schott Glen Lundberg Gralie Cragun — Your girl may not let Ion “It's quite true about you readsong" tain” WATERS! "Oh but a It's she one bet that the safe the millionyeah you “An odd name” mused the sign? ing Hooey isn't it?” BE-NO’The yellow race needs territory S airess herself about sang while “Yes to” but I only took it in be- apreciates your wanting seer “And why is the mountain for an expanding population A she searched her husband's troutween the Scribble poetry You the'1 jjames lafit week between to called?" few thousands sers fer some Americans attended after is thet who the dough— WE NOMINATE THE FOR know a sip here a ‘sap there Anyone “Because" drawled the laconic one? Goes like this: Mongolian gold in Shanghai it t £ lag Aggies and Utah University will doubtlessly agree son of the sod “nobody can HALL OF FAME Dear me where U can the batter S FLEET CRUISING IN traditl and Spurs are 'functioning very well in scale it" She lives at South's but anv the Well well! well! here it Is an-- ! be? that SHANGHAI WATERS! Basket InterIe-N- o — N A Pedersen Because he has Dear me where can the batter other week and no news except the club s or Pi could enthusiast The hear Kap the of activities lines their To save ONE HUNDRED AmUtah be? active' male at South’s especial- what we consider the perfect pok's one crack we heard The Professor Sorenson's idea of a West ericans while 10 million Ameriinters collegiate Knights composed of a group of Dear me where can the batter face er as have a ly they 01 turn had not been smile: telephone jood going cans starve in U S cetbali students have had charge of the seating and ushering be Our girl down at the deaf and (A propos my number is 44ii-at all well but he stuck doggedly U S FLEET CRUISING IN “As easy to decipher as a have done this Univei ' — because she never There's only two hundred grand to his dumb school the people at the basket ball gamesin They can I feel edified i 1 justly he said "if task “Now" SHANGHAI WATERS! fine manner Jreek insurance policy written there! Chinese ty a blindfolded heifer Throughout this argument I have croons “Isn’t be cute! very wej and have handled things in such a Yeah 'n that reminds me uv any lady or gentleman in the auU S Government sends fleet fans — because' he the caused Walter been Prof Welti come escorting has within confusion Of one no word only ith St Vitus danc?” the story about the young onion dience would oblige me with an to Shanghai to save the Amerithat the Cropley twfce had nerve enough to go through who got into trouble— awful mentioning to their seats break egg I would proceed to perform can People and uphold DEMOthe with an of Most interviewers students in female start presentation with nn amazing trick” There was CRACY! Max Worley's favorite literay'know — yeah" The Spurs composed of the active L’SAC at “Now duct 1 TidweU and fade opera out a ditto how d’y'know momentary silence then from the ua of the school gave a banquet in honor of the Salt Lake ture: Grant H Rodfor! -- because he should he huh? Whut makes Ez Owens and inCarmen are a cute Virg are red back of the hall came a voice: y'think th presenter loses —— fant onion was in difficulties— somewhere Spurs Saturday and with the aid of their guests put couple Le are had “If here an pages glue anybody egg huh?" oursT : a Stunt Saturday night at the game They were ui their you think you are the berries "Welt iy'see I overheard him you’d have had it long ago" LITTLE MASTERPIECES heir s ‘ white uniforms both nights and presented a very P1C‘ Then Pm the cat's mew he was in a great stew ahjut say a formed PMe OF MELODY DEPT something— grand On And then there’s the old gag Saturday night they picture turesque yeah ‘s'stem hot y'We recommend that a Noble know 7Z 0I ferJohn Anderson entered a speaka onion- - of tender about the nursery rhyme: around the gym during the half of the game and inarch Prize in Poetry be treated for the years" ! Old Mother Hubbard went to the formed their letter “S” on the floor They stopped in the easy and asked for a glass of author of this beautiful lyric "OH? OH! VVhoo— oops By Frances Knott 1 eer On being supplied he said they’re cupboard center of the floor and led the crowd in the singing of hat ound found in a Farm Bureau song pushing us off the air—God be For something to quench her he should rather have t Strict with a softening touch sheet: with you Alonzo" pat I two scfiool songs handed thirst When the cigar he is the secret of the new mode tgar tount 1 “God be with you Tidwell" These two organizations are the two pep organizaWhen she got there the cupboard aid that he would father have a All those exaggerated And thatfriends puffs and JUST CALL ON THE FARMER concludes their wok hiskey ITAII 1 tions upon the campus 'and are "performing was bare He drank the whiskey bows are disappearing another fifteen Alminutes with lsavinr (Tune: Let Me Call You UGH 1 very remarkably During the football season they hat The old man had been there nd started to leave onzo and Tidwell soft suggestions the master daintily Sweetheart) ' carry-Thars minds of humor — if you humor Barmen: “Here you have ‘not first charge of the seating of the people and are now ’em they’ll diliver the bacon If 1 aid for that whiskey" Skirt lengths will stay about Just call on the farmer ing their work over into the basket ball season are V'don’t time any you’ll have to take hamJohn: “I gave you the cigar where they are proud We the students’ of the “Aggie” College Will do The! This specialization idea is spreadburger or it B ' Bustoffapiece Bramwell on the call Just srami where farmer that they represent us and say to them “keep up the Barman: has ing to all professions Now there “You did not pay for Buttons are "the" thing — for a message for you— and according are barber shops where one man the spirit’s true he cigar good work” to the ole adage we believe that lathers service or for their own pleasure He'll another you and man give you a welcome with old a word John: “I gave you the beer for seemingly Some of the arrangeto the wise is — well — innew friends and c“ dicative of a lot of nerve— so here shaves you Unfortunately for us s ments are or we on Just were call the farmer any town goes successfully lathered one Barman:' “You did not pay for in a secret game all the butwill do day only to learn that the shavDr Bustoffapiece:-Peoplhe beer” ton's own of America and sur- ing barber was at home sick On John: “I did not drink it" thou As February 22 nears we all look forward to the uniqu It must be good — the Farm rounding states are you taking hustling down the street to look Barman: “That's worth a whis-e- y ually the is Simpler our "everything" Country Bureau likes it celebration of the birthday of the Father of advantage of Reducoids the won- for an barber shop but I'll give you another if vogue Which just goes to show that der pill— prodigal of science known we were nearly arrested for being The year of 1932 brings to us among other' things the ou will go and it over on put for its Instant effec- at large with a severe case of culture is at lost being brought everywhere of the birthday of America’s most prqmineni he other bootlegger on the other tiveness? This harmless scientific Recently only three women to the farm hydrophobia citizen in the history of the nation The celebration foi ide of town" TrS gowns to a Pans conas-sSSan“Too late He Just gave cert John" his from lasts birthday George Washington’s birthday Izzv the Indigent Ink Imbiber to get thin for LOUISE DRESSER le one to come and put it over a small (os is cycle cops will wants to know if the mother of a it abomnabale?) onlysum Lillwellyn niversary February 22 to Thanksgiving or a period 0 ' ' arrest only the MINNA GOMBELL n you" berets Berets berets Stunning litter of puppies is a dogma Lithping-gin- k ten months The object of this mammoth celebration is in regard to this drivers of certain kinds of cars— with smartly buttoned coats and JOBYNA HOWLAND and we won’t drive that kind amazing invention writes: “That this and succeeding generations of America shal LATEST SONG HIT: suits “I uth to be a thtick-u- p YESTERDAY’S HUMOR — TOman Williom COLLIER Sr become better citizens through a more intimate know"My rival won her hand so end thucktheeded in my profet-hio- n I Professor MORROW'S VAUDEVILLE Peterson an oi l A FOX PICTURE ledge of the character and achievement of the founder oi 'll try to win her back" Slim and strict through the tholey becauth of Reduthoi-dt- h professor at the college was a Fable 1 When the republic" withed to rob a very upright and strict old man hips softened at waist shoulders Once upon a time there was a a Lambs and ' neck suggesting utter femin- - young girl who was awful wilful thafe I thimply tbwallowed a He ruled The Utah State Agricultural College along with th his family with a hnd had Reduthing a and thlid under 0 iron No little lamb inity is the present note other high institutions of learning will do honor to hi lary She was wooed by a pleasant-spoke- n the door" captbul late hours no card And it was always buttin' We no dances— nothing of this And so we could cite millions parties young man and she said memory and celebrate in a fit manner his birthday n Monday paw got !n its way -- ' moulded dresses with Closely of similar experiences with this sort was permitted yes without consulting anybody of the college should dq our best to live up V And Tuesday they had mutton snug waistlines are d every girl's The marriage was of the sort Needless to say he bad a very Don’t remedy the standards set by our first president and become great fail dream ladees and gents to purchase pretty daughter as known if knotr unhappy you Troy who was ‘he QUAI ITY doesn't like a smutty joke and form our characters in such a way that we maj week’s your of Reduceoik supply what I mean and all her friend 1 todayi-spell- ed being eagerly sought after by one SERMCE lie trustworthy enough to occupy a like position if cir be doesn’t drink she doesn't very flippapt but charming young waged their heads and said: "I thank you SANITATION smoke cumstances require it man Stewart Ryan told you so!' If you had asked ME DE’LIYtK PHONE 409 'be doesn't swear she never advice I warne the have could horror of my Imagine And the as the paper hanger cried old flirts man when he entered the room him! to knew I of his his yon against assistant: 'be never wears those “Stick ’em up! or your name’s and found but one chair occupied! and hia goings on!' skirts The “Sir" he said shaking his head Also once upon a time there was mud!” be use doesn't those beauty t another young girl most shy ard His complexion we hear was at’ the youth “when I was courtsalves One of the outstanding features ’of' the styles at the and every time she had a rather pasty ing my wife she sat on ono side j timid Utah State Agricultural College greets the visitor when he "he boys have never1 'eyed her of the room and I sat on the proposal she asked her friends al This ’N That WHADAYA a I (lapf dyle-flippi- Mark Neuberger Herold Lillywhite 1 COLUMN ct ' eage-reade- rs Johnny-on-th-sp- - ' Glen-chor- J - law — - p - PiutTd7iesrr Z — :r::rrrr gol-da- rn X ! ' j na-tv- LOVE-WOR- AND SPURS East Bed Be-N- os con-jure- j Tips 'oe The Shop Market 1 ’ -- ‘ Jy’ Thurs Fri WASHINGTON BI CENTENNIAL “ wort-evenin- srv' m Double-Barrele- NX d tail M0NSEN MEAT MARKET world-renowne- 1 knee-lengt- h short-comin- Special Agricultural Styles Attention Students! ' enters the buildings h i jy 'hsn which are and dirt Everywhere are students with Cord' ITt t'Ltii covered with writing pictures h$ T now completely The Cords have become the essential apparel of the modern Collegiate youth at the College The writing upon them may be anything from dirty jokes to note for exams in History The pants are generally aided in their ap pearance by a picture or two of some old Agriculture Cow or Horse or just a picture of someone’s Sweetheart As the visitor strolls itlown the halls he occasionally encounters one out of about three hundred pairs of Cords seen that are clean This exceptionally rare case may be because of the fact that the owner has worn his old pair until they are ruined and it becomes a necessity for him to procure another pair The other factor that may bring clean pants to the College Is that some little “j'ercival Hector” wants to make a hit with the girlsi Tne coats worn in cold weather are made of Sheep skins generally have pictures of Cows or Horses on the bacc The typical indoor coat is made of Horse hide or Buck skin and in every way lives up to the genera' ' styles of the school These Cords and Coats with their special pictures' oS animals help to make the Utah State Agricultural a real Agriculture School in style's as --well as studies We among the many owners of dirty Cords are very glad that this is a Agricultural school and that the officers are Democratic enough to let us continue 'to wear our " post essential apparel Dirty Cords and coatsi ad Col-let-re -- -- sa tihie: xhes not a girl — By Quarter of last year Er- - ' “Oh my dear! Don’t marry him ! she’s a Jersey Spring know8 how a student val- - He is most undesirable!” So the eryone ues his year book so if one has! young girl never ' married at all Horace Hulme been found please bring it to the The inorals Qf this fable are Lost and Found Department n In a multitude of counselors there the President's office is safety and too many cooks AUTUMN POETTUOY My tY pist is on her vseatiom A man recently shot his wife My trpist’s awau ' because she refused to speak to fpr a week My typudt us in hwr vsearion ‘ ' ' him IVgile thse dumb kews plsy hude A man like that deserves to and seek? ‘ Cjoras:' Oy breng boxk bting bxck Brung becj my b'onnie ti tp mr B4b-6n- Bjing g ' bicx bozk my helk! belnie?omy hang An my icago Tile A C NETWORK XNTIVl'ES AS FOLLOWS p ni— Quaker ’meeting! p m— Meditation period p m —Silent prayer Th-p ni — Pantomime Hush of Evening spoil the broth 6:55 p m — Address by David —T°wn Topics 1911 Kreppa graduate of the modern school for the Deaf and Dumb IF YOU GET THIS ONE? 7:15 p m — Demonstration YOU’RE TOO DAMN SMART of I suppose you hive beard the Maxim silencers An intermission of fifteen minutes Shoemaker's Song Please grand No? You ask what is the shoe- by 7:30 p' m maker’s song? beConversation of course LU- tween Silent Bill Smith and himWhy LUCILLE ' self CILLE! 7:50 p m — Boy Scouts giving g ‘GNUS FROM THE ZOO signals — 7:55 m The crime wave that has been p Granting of diplomas sweeping the zoo is reported to by Correspondence School 8:15 p m— Silent trubutrf to debe now well under control The leopard has been put on the spot parted broadcasters 8:30 p m— The Quiet hour and the zebra Is already wearing 9:30 p tn Drama: “Death” to stripes The elephant has packed his trunk and left for parts un- this it will be necessary for know The hyena however is H O- O E T to be stilled for one hour’ laughing at the authorities 10:30 p m— Demonstration by "Well that's one on ' mi” as Noiseless typewriters' corporation IT :00 p the corpse said when they erected m— Talking sign lana tombstone over his head guage by Utah Bill Poster com' pany ' 12:00 p m— H O O E Y Four out’ of five have it and the fifth knows where to get H ' signing off 4JK) 6:30 6:35 6:40 j Waybe” retorted Stewart not a! whit abashed “that's what I should have done had I been wife!!"1 courting' A cute little flapper named Ella Went out for a stroll with a fella: But When the young geezes Kept trying to squeeze her She smicked him a smack on the smella has d made an boy in Cheight-tub- e all by himself We understand that because of h i s nti outh nothing will be done Hbout it wig-wa- THANKS FOR THE REPAIRS As a rminrieY of: th article that appeared in the Student Life a week or so ago we might say that the repairs asked for have been made and that things are now foing in an excellent condition at the men’s1 dressing room in the gymnasium We wish to extend our appreciation to those who were influential in having the repairs made and congratulate them on their work in putting the nozzles on the showers We just wish to say that is would certainly he a shame if all the showers were in usable condition and the room all ready and there Was no hot water - SCHEBY’S ' Phone 926 I love Muriel Because ’ cteven-year-ol- good work and service in cleaning and pressing AT OlIR WORK she has Naughty eyes' Pretty clothes Lovely form Well filled hose Muriel loves me Because I tell hor she has— ' Naughty eyes Pretty clothes Lovely form Well filled hose Professor Aronld announces the discovery of something 200 times as sweet as sugar but neglects to mention her name IS LIKE factory work When your shoes look shabby they detract from your whole appearance Your shoes should always look ike new This ran be done if you let us repair them— n factory1 way Moderate prices : ’ Prohibition hasn't made this country any healthier Men aro still sitting up with sick friends Anyway they can’t say the bath ing beauty is all wet s - '1 WENDENES’ 115 North Maul Logaift |