Show advertisement The Lacy Look - to® By Norman Lobsenz The Quality of marriage Surveys show that for most their overall feeling of ple peohap- piness depends more than anything else on having a good marriage Now two new studies both reported in the Journal of Marriage and the Family shed light on factors that influence the quality of marital satisfaction Family life expert Thomas Holman Tempt of the University of Wisconsin your knitting skill with this that community involvement by one or both spouses — long thought to be a plus factor in a marriage — may not pointelle drawstring blouson made of Kitten Yam Craft 880 has knit directions for Sizes 616 inclusive se always be a positive influence “As community involvement begins to take increasing amounts of time” Holman says “there is a concurrent drop in marital satisfaction” The second study by social re- - knitting worsted to crochet this appealing capelet with bright edging and flower trim Craft 785 has crochet directions for one size to fit 4-pl- 8-1- A lacy openworkT-shir- t made of mercerized cotton Craft 889 has full crochet directions for Small Medium and inclusive Large (8-18- finds searchers James Medling and Michael McCarrey looked at the question of whether spouses who hold similar sets of values are likely to have a happier marriage They found that similarity of values has a positive effect on couples who have been married more than 25 years However couples in the early and middle stages of marriage the researchers say put a greater emphasis on physical attraction their roles as s and parents and the practical aspects of establishing a home Older couples may depend on a shared value system to meet each other s emotional needs because they are retired and their children are gone wage-earner- Tough Questions for ) Getting ready for retirement involves a lot more than planning your farewell speech buying golf clubs or checking out cruises According to experts most people who retire — voluntarily or because they must — seldom give enough thought to how they will cope with such a major change in their daily lives Many companies and organizations aware of the problems faced by newly retired men and women have begun to offer courses and pamphlets encouraging preparation several years in advance of retirement While most retirees are aware of the need to make financial and health-car- plans e retirement counselor Norman Sprague says that few take into consideration the psychological adjustment they will have to make He suggests that Pre-Retir- ees anyone approaching retirement consider carefully these questions: Are you able to enjoy your own company? Have you anticipated what it will mean to be separated from colleagues and business friends? How will you feel about yourself once you no longer have a job to do a place to go to where you feel a sense of accomplishment? Is your strong enough to cope with the loss of your identity as a productive jobholder? Do you have any special interests or avocations that will satisfactorily fill some of your time? Are you prepared to spend 24 hours a day with your spouse? What makes you think you will be? Have you talked with your spouse about how she (or he) will feel about having you home every day? self-ima- ge The Importance of Being Hugged An attractive cap sleeve blouson is crocheted in in your favorite colors Craft 887 has crochet directions for Sizes Knit Cro-Shee- 10-2- inclusive Knit this short sleeve blouse from cool mercer ized cotton yarn in an interesting pattern stitch Craft 884 has knit directions for Small Medium and Large sizes inclusive To order send non-sexu- love-makin- $150 plus 25v for postage and handling for each pattern (Five patterns for $500) Family Weekly Magazine POBox 438 Dept Foiled in his efforts to understand the workings of the female mind Sigmund Freud once asked “What does a woman want?" The answer according to psychiatrist Dr Marc Hollender of Vanderbilt University is a hug Being held in a warm embrace that is not a preliminary move toward A-12- 0 Midtow n Station New York NY 10018 Ini ludf ninf ddirvsv p inj g is enormously important to women Hollender says It connotes security comfort and love “When I am being held I feel there is nothing in the world that can go wrong” one woman told the psychi t Ava V?fk jilt! ii al 8 FAMILY WEEKLY June 28 1981 atrist Others said that being hugged alleviates their feelings of depression and to a lesser extent of anger Men seldom volunteer a nonsexual hug so wives often have to ask for it directly Some seek to encourage a hug by crying or acting seductively And while some men admit they like to be hugged occasionally most prefer to give a hug Says Hollender: “This is in keeping with our cultural pattern that makes it less acceptable for men to be held or cuddled There is the fear it would be regarded as evidence of unmanliness" |