Show AN EDUCATED JERSEY LAWYERS FIRST fiust CASE IN THE WEST IVEST did I 1 ever tell you about the newark lawyers girst fust case in minnesota no well weil 11 eif elf goes for Us its worth r you a e no doubt well veil aware aawar that many cpr sprigs of aristocracy in easte n cities labor under the impression that in order to extinguish all other lights they have only to emigrate to some western NV estern town and dazzle dazzie e the natives many a a man an has hag thus started out in search of 0 biln wool wooi and d been himself bany shorn and in no town in iche he world does the class stand a poorer chance that in st paul minnesota the majority of its hardy healthy and active inhabitants first went to the place for hearth health to recruit those ener energies ies les which had bad become exhausted in active mental mental labors i the east the place commenced in fact as a sort of natures hospital no one thought of locating there because be he was too far out of the world but inva invalids lids flocked in convalescents wrote back to their families and frends fr ends the verdict of thousands who bad had been snatched as it wre from the grave was published far and wide that pure dry air was better than drugs and it was soon discovered by arti artl artists ts specula ors and capitalist capitalists that for beauty of location and artistic building spots the place had no rival on the globe the result is st paul today to day has a atlon of fifteen thousand oe of aa as active go ahead jokers financiers and old travelers as a a can be a and end in any e city caty eity kuy ity ot at ohe one e alon arla ana is do rg a healthier business and is erecting more buildings and better enesp obes ones than any other three cities of its size anywhere so much for introductions I 1 and a key to the fact chy why the mass is made up of the ablest lawyers judges eig elf cl agy merchants capitalists capitally capit ails alls s and speculator who overtaxed their m antal energies in eastern cities and now to the sto 10 y it was a g of august no matter what bat year hiie while hile tile the large and splendid key city captain jones harden and clerk L eldred was proudly plowing her way up the mississippi from la crosses that a brilliantly dressed gentleman oi ol about twenty five years of age was to be seen leisurely reclining on a railing in front of the office puffing the ten cent rega ia just taken from his pocket locket and evidently wonder rig ng if the half civilized people of st paul ever smoked anything more expensive than ithan pipes turning to a plainly dressed gentleman at his bide side he exclaimed are you ah acquainted in st paul oh yes I 1 know most of the headd leading citi zens zena 21 was the reply do 3 you ou indeed 1 exclaimed the flashy Rt hueman bueman well then I 1 am a n luck pretty 11 p 1 cely 1114 lt BO so bir sir every man bag something to do anh ana all an are making a good living 21 do ati ahin in st StPaul paul oil 1 I do have billave you ani any lawyers there quite too many air that ig is my profession 81 0 n 1 4 the dandy looked at the man at first with incredulity and then with rittia patronizing air saidi 1 I have reference my good stilow to grit class attorneys men of idu education cation catlon who are graduated at collegen Coll Col iegel legel A light seemed to break in upon the mans mana man mind as he be replied ahi ahl ah I 1 see e what you sou voil mean roean no we have rl no yerke lawyers of education aie ate you a lawyer sir sit inflating inflating himself with importance and great condescension be he replied A graduate sir of the best college in new nelv jersey erseal and if sufficient encouragement is held heid out by the members of the bar in S paul I 1 will stop among them and give them the benefit of my knowledge kno ledge at the same time the brilliant young sprig produced reduced and handed over a very miniature care which read G E L newark N J the ile man seemed delighted lie ire claimed the privilege r i of at once extended to the stranger declared the hospitalities 0 sf of the bar of st pau paul and declared that within I 1 two hours after the ar rival of the boat a public reception should be i givan div n him v I 1 I 1 As the sun was sinkin sinking in the west the key city touched the I 1 levee at st paul and the distinguished stranger was at once conducted to alerding hotel to await the arrival of the city bar in a body in about two hours they arrived ad a d were presented in due form bahe by the man who came up bp on the boat with the brilliant scholar and who had bad introduced himself as mr spotless then came judge kerby judge All ali figh fiah advocate Bloo deye lawyers keen Knife point badac hearvy If earvy and some two dozen others all ail anxious to their to the lawyer y er who had been dedicated edica ted 11 and a gwine for lor to shonna how they dew in jer bey sey during the excitement of shaking hands a and nd taking g drinks for the twentieth time from the row oe or bottles placed upon the table a ion lon long iong gaunt six and a half footer came in with bot both h boots off and without bat coat or vest and in stentorian voice exclaimed evenin court is now open and ill pil shoot every man who aho dont dout attend in three minutes there was wag at once a scattering from the noem some escaped by one door and some by liy another but judge kerby grasped the jersey lawyer layer by the hand and whispered follow me and be fafel escaping by a back door and threading innumerable dark lanes and cow yards the judge and his big young friend at length reached the extensive vivery livery weny wery stable at All bones the rhe I 1 maddest maddest wag in the state here ere they found a low tow of 0 twelve barrels ifo for 0 the b ejury jury F to sit upon inverted water vater pails for t the fie 1 lawyers 1 I ers and a bundy of hay bay for the judge the ahe prisoner at the bar who was being beings tried for the murder 0 of his mother with a butcher knife was seated on oil a wheelbarrow smoking an indian pipe and 1 swearing wearing in that he could hid whip an three men 0 on n the jury u r y good godl godt gentlemen gasped the educated man can it be possible that you conduct courts in this manner in st paul pauly its only lately that we have llave had BO so nice a room as this replied half a dozen la lawyers we used to meet in Blood eyes woodshed but this is extra the presiding judge now called the coart to order arid and asked the prisoner if he be had bad any counsel not a onel one was the loud reply hut but if that ere chap with nice clothes on will take a holt of the job ill pil give him two cows and one hundred acres of ferary young jarsey was undecided and wavering but at length stuttered out that he be wished to be excused whereupon the prisoner sprang the leneth lenz th ot at W a upset the wheelbarrow larrow barrow and swore if it the man take hold of the case and clear him that be he would follow him from house bouse to house bouse and drink the last drop ot of bla bia hearts blood this decided the nutter mater qt once and the proud sprig of aristocracy felt that hla hia is own life ilfe as well well weil as that of liis ills client depended upon the amount arid and qua lly ily of forensic ability that he would ouid A bring to bear upon the jury on his rising to address the court the pi biding siding andge indignantly informed him that no college baby a coat on to iry in that temple george removed his big coat and was per err ordered to remove his vest necktie suspenders boots and stockings th the e orders were all obeyed at the pistols muzzle held by the crier of the court a convalescent invalid six feet two avro inches in his stockings and weighing about two hundred and six pounds at this stage of the pros proc edings diDgs two of the jury who had been playing cards for a galion of whisky got into a quarrel and one drove his bowe bowie knife app apparently a bently up tip to the hilt in tile the others body the corpse was con keyed from the room as unconcernedly as if it it had ben the body of a defunct dog and the crier screamed at the top offis of his voice go on with the court courtl I 1 george had been a member of the sons of malta or at least he made his way into the lodge dodge 0 g 6 at trenton a few winters ago when judge judg e was wont to put the candidates over the rugged path with bells on george we say had been there but now he was frightened and made up his mind to save his precious life by flight with a bound that aou would ld have been creditable to the in their pa mi est days he ve leaped over a fanning tanning mi mill 11 eluded t the tha lie grabp grasp grasp grabp 0 of f his client who had bad now broken brokers frol troi from the wheelbarrow wheel barrow and by the aid of the almost i I 1 i IT impenetrate itself enet rabe darkness succeeded in hiding biding himself in a lumber yard till nea near hear r morning when nhen stealing down to the levee in his bis almost jaude I 1 nude state he be board of a small steamier steamer and begged the clerk in the name of 0 pity 1 god and humanity to give him a passage down the river to some town five hundred undred fi miles from st paul ile he would give no explanation of his half dressed condition but only begged to be secreted until the boat waa was at least a hundred miles down the river on 1 coming out of his state room the next morn ing when the boat was near la crosse he was informed vy by the smiling clerk that there was a bundle of clothing downing and a trunk in the office for him placed on ou the boat loat at st paul j with his bis address by lawyer Sl otless a man of fine eire character but no education 1 I thank him for 11 my baggage gasped the student turning paie paje at the tie decoll recoil action of the midnight scene in the barn but these Minnes sota lawyers are worse than savages gamble smoke drink rum rura and murder in the courtroom court room and cut the throat of an educated man men with as little compunction of conscience as stab a toad ive heard beard it said that st paul is a beautiful clacel it may maybe be in inthe the daytime day time but it itis is an art adful place in the night and if it is a healthy place for invalids it is an unhealthy one for lawyers law y ers ere im an educated lawyer myself ive had my fest first case in minnesota BlInne sota and thank god its my last on arriving at la crosse he went to jarck pomeroy of the democrat and arid tried to get him to publish the story of his st paul experience but brick indignantly replied cant do it my boy errald fraid taint truel is too funny for reality arid and the democrat never being determined to relate his experience however he then hired a hall and advertised a lecture en cn emigration and after he had received at the door nearly enough to cover gover cover his bis expenses the deputy mayor stepped up lip to him and ex I aimed almed have billave you got a I 1 license icente sir for hib this his ero ere show this is not cot a show and I 1 have no 1 bensel well I 1 want ten dollars and I 1 dont care a red whether you call it ashow or an exhibition y bu my dear friend dont but me sul aul I 1 know what the law lay is I 1 hold bold office and you must pay up tr and so be he fizzled mizz led and when on the point of returning home to old essex by overland easy stages on an foot was met by his big former friend of the boat buat who explained to him that the court scene was wag all a joke and pre on him to return and locate ile he dropped hig bis airs at once and soon became a favorite ile he now holds an important 0 office ece at st paul NEW MEW jtb ia fab OF recently at one of our hotels while a party were holding L an argument on the subject of spiritualism a wag volunteered to express his belief that there was something in it as he himself was ft a sort of a medium how a medium inquired the landlord why 12 replied the wag 1 I cando cando a good many mysterious things for instance I 1 can make a bell ning ring it without touching it the landlord joffere offered to bet him that he could not the wag per and said that he be would lay 20 that he be could make at least a dozen ot of the bells in the house bouse ring within two minutes without moving from where he sat bat noner boner exclaimed the landlord and the money was put up the wag turned round in his seat beat opened a closet door and turned off the gas from the upper part of the building in less than one minute halt the bells bellia in the house began to ring violently the lodgers lod loa gerit above had lost their lights the 20 was wag fairly won an fn N Y atlas examination OF A MUSICIAN what isa iba slur almost any remark one singer makes about another 11 hat is a rest goerg out to take refreshments between the acts what is called singing with understanding in marking time on the floor with your feet what is a staccato movement leaving the choir in a buff because one ia is dissatisfied wit with thet I 1 leader ead e r what is a swell A professor saor gaor of music who pretends to know everything about the science while he cannot conceal his bis ignorance WOULD nor NOT RETRACT asir sir y said a person toan to in editor sir your journal of 0 yesterday contained false information impossible sir but tell me what abat you refer to you said 11 had bad been tried true 11 condemned 11 iahost most true now bir sir I 1 lam iam ain bin that person the d lyou 1 you are e III 1 I asure you it is a fact and now I 1 hope you wm 1 11 contradict the statement B by no means sir I 1 mever sever retract the mot wot j ican n do defoi or you ia 13 to announce that the thil rope r 0 e broke a and add 11 d that you are arb in perfect health 1 I nave naye ve principles ples plea sir air it is said of me that I 1 never vever dec deceive elye |