Show AN ASYLUM FOR USELESS YOUNG MEN W in every community there is a catri tai tal n per of useless young men whose ultimate condition must excite the sympathy and consideration of every philanthropist what will become of them wo we do not put the question as to their future state but how bow will they round off their earthly existence The they have haye no visible means of support still they hang on they vegetate they keep beep above the ground lna ina in a certain lit literal eral sense they may be said to live move and have a being they lounge in offices promenade the streets appear at social amusements play the gallant to good natured ladies and attend to the necessities of lapdogs lap dogs their more quiet and undemonstrative life may be ba described as an intermittent torpor in which meals drinks and sleep mark the cb changes inges their existence would be a mystery but for their bearing certain relations to other substantial people known familiarly as pa 1 I imai ma or better half who are abl abi able abie to mae make provision for the waste and protection of their bodies in the way of clothes and food still ought tho the tender young men to be left to the chances of parental or domestic affection all are not equally fortunate what shall we do with those whose dependencies are more precarious they do not admit of any utilitarian disposition in cannibal countries they could be eaten as a substitute for veal their bodies would also make excellent fertilizers for sterile lands but the prejudices ora ors of a christian people would revolt at this solution of the problem A certain number could be employed as lay jay figures in shop windows to exhibit clothes on but the tailors might not have confidence in them most of them could color meer meers shams bams but this business would produce little revenue what then shall be done the tax now falls upon a few and it ought to be distributed we propose therefore a state asylum for useless young men an institution of this kind could be easily filled with those between the ages of eighteen and thirty who should be grouped and associated together so that the rude jostling and friction of the working world would not disturb their delicate nerves here they could cultivate mustaches part their huir hair behind and practice attitudes attitude ff in this resort with a little enforced exercise to keep their circulation in a healthy state with dolls to play with as a compensation for the absence of ladies society these useless young men could be supported in ease and comfort comforti and all the industrious people would be willing to pay the expenses of this institution ution rather than bear the painful solicitude in regard to the welfare of these those superfluous members of society when provision has been made by the state for idiots for the insane poor aged and crIp cripples pies ples is it not asto ahto astounding astounding that asylums have never been erected erected for the useless watertown reformer former Sc |