Show CONTINUED CONTINUE Dj arom from the ew york I 1 WOOING THE MINISTER kinister BY JAMES CLARK clare crar olmi trw trl miss Sop sophronia bronia headset Dead set daughter of deacon headset Dead set wasa was a de cidely mature young lady idy abounding in grace a noun BO ISO far fai as 9 she was concerned the plural of which was wanting she had done the heavy female business of the congregation ao iong long that her right to the position had ripened into prescription her word was law at the sewing circle she uniformly led its discussions and usually ally aily selected the tho topics a duty in the performance of which it must be acknowledged she appeared to be actuated by a pral praiseworthy ewon thy desire to correct the tho faults of or b her er absent neighbors nei nel bors she had bad acquired a thorough proficiency in this department of eloquence A great deal depends as every body knows on the way in which words are spoken 1 I say by god godel I 1 was the preface to one of the finest periods of the i illustrious advocate who defended lord george gordon and yet no one that had heard beard him thought it profane though perhaps at the present day such an expression would be deemed deeded a little strong to be used outside of the pulpit now of all the arts of manner the one most invaluable to a public or private declaimer against the vices and follies foll ies les of others it is that which enables the speaker while uttering much more than he knows to convey the impression that worse remains s behind of this species of rhetorical strat gey miss sophronia was perfect mistress she managed to clothe her most virulent invectives with the appearance of abortive attempts to ei extenuate and caused you to feel that she would have gladly suppressed the whole could she have reconciled such a course with the tender scruples of a somewhat fastidious conscience in iii person she was of medium height while her other aimen almen dimensions fell considerably short of the classic proportions to mathematically she was bounded by nig rig right line and plane surfaces sui sni faces constituting t what is technically denominated a prismatic solid if anybody fell feil sick bick in the hoc boc I 1 the patients first request was that the fact should be carefully concealed from miss headset Dead set for she made it au an invariable point in such cases to plant herself by the sufferers bedside book in hand band determined ter mined to convince him before she left that his affliction was a judgment from heaven either for some s special p ecial wickedness or on general account in most instances she was successful for fr sick people are usually willing to purchase peace at any price and like sick principally anxious to be let alene alone but in the case of bill Spiff sniffles les who had bro brought on an attack of preachers sore throat by cursing a barkeeper at the top of his voice for an hour in the open air on a winter night alth aith although ough she had compelled him to listen to the whole of the afflicted mans companion and had bad left him black blackin blacken in the face he could not be brought to ledge that he had done more than justice to tha the miss diana spanker kept an infant school in the village probably considering it her mission being a devout believer in innate depravity to render herself instrumental in awarding to as many little original sinners as possible the inherited penalties of broken laws five thousand years fore their creation throy adams cause aliss miss Spin spanker kein keln was some years not so many as she claimed the junior of so sophronia h 0 robust in form she was w what at might be styled at the provost marshals office an able bodied young person or as it is more fashionably phrased a favorable specimen of muscular christianity between herself and miss headset Dead set us much emulation existed as was consistent with their sisterly relationship as members of the same per persuasion on diana had not yielded the uppermost seat at the taste not tea circle and the principal management of the mite society raffle baffle without an effort but her competitor possessed advantages against which it was hopeless to contend deacon headset was reputedly the richest and most religious member of the congregation his name uni uniformly headed the published lists of benevolent contributions and if his private charities were less munificent it was probably because he was too much occupied with more mor e enlarged ob objects beets to afford him leisure to look into individual cases of destitution scientific experiments converting uneatable substances into cheap food for the poor he stood ready to patronize with a liberal 11 beral haild hand but if any continued on page 84 ay iy continued fro from pago page 83 p 10 one died while the broth vas was concocting concoct ing why shy the verdict af f the tue the coroners jury death from oln inanition made every everything thin reg regular ularand and was quite sufficient to calm the general conscience no wonder that tho only daughter of the wealthy and influential deacon had bad lound it an easy task to establish lief h et gu supremacy in in the set to which she belon belonged red after A fter a brief struggle miss spanker had ulven given y iten iren in falling as gracefully as possible into the second place and consolin consoling 0 fr her seif self with the reflection that one that could recite the whole of butlers analogy without missing musing a question guestion bad only to bide taide her tune time in order to be properly appreciated precia ted it is no my intention toi toj im lm nent curiosity of those who would week beek to know how bow many maby matrimonial offers the two young younk ladies ladle s had already rejected suffice it to say that at the time of tile the new nev mini minister ministerial sterIA advent both were vere entirely free from entangling alliances li ances auces 11 sophronia and diana dlana both belonged belbo ged to the choir the latter had been accustom cd ed to recognize the tub precedence of the former by singing half a ton tone elower lowein I 1 but on the he first sunday on which mr wakefield officiated during the performance of the opening anthem miss headset either ob served or fancied she did a perceptible of miss Span kems voice she immediately raised her ow own miss S followed suit and went something better So sophronia phronis ascended still higher diana ingher higher still till each had reached the this top ot of her compass all at other her voices were completely drowned the eyes of the entire assembly were turned on the two singers who eyed each other askance as they screeched away wll wi wil might an main maid till at the conclusion of the 7 acred bied duett the performers perforce per forMe rg sat d down ow n ddn panting tin g for breath and very red the young parson acquitted himself creditably but whether he considered the musical entertainment I 1 of the morning 0 sufficient for the day or whether he bad had not been attentive enough to appreciate its merits he closed the exercises with a short doxology which afforded no scope icove for another contest the sewing circle motion afternoons and in the evenings after the members had handed in their work and the society bag bad had been formerly closed by the president it was the custom for uch such of the brethren as felt disposed to drop in and spend a few hours in social and religious religions conversation with a view to mutual edification and improvement 0 oj such uch occa occasions the presence of the minis mini s ter was expected as a matter matt e of course ourse c L TO BE ca CONTINUED med WED |