Show L SUNDAY MORNING MARCH 8 1931 THE OGDEN STANDARD EXAMINER 4— B -- O O How’s M’INTYRE’S IMPRESSIONS She Hittin’? Notes By Mrs Chatterly’s Boy Friend By O O McXNTYRE of & soandso: Reflections prosperity bet By ISRAEL KLEIN Science Editor NEA Service THANKS to the low price of gaso-- A line and oil at present the American motorist needn’t worry about the enormous waste of fuel that he Is constantly forcing ter than men - The smoothest running vaudeville act Is that of Cardin! a magician The most tuneful hit of all the musical comedies was Vincent “Tea for Three" You-man- ’s A boaster always discredits himself eventually The stage in dire need of censor ship will get it German police dogs are too numerous to run at large Chevalier considering his talents is Too much exploitation of charla tans on the radio lately Nothing is in such need of “debunking” as modern science Few writers turn out such frothy scintillations as Margaret Case Morgan in Vanity Fair Hoover may be wrong but he has shown courage It will take years to bring conservative investors back into the buying market There Isn't a show in New York worth $5 a seat yet it costs much more to see the best ones That’s why the theatre Is dying That and stage smut Just when folk think the talkies are a failure along comes a picture like “Cimarron” Garbo will stay on her pedestal if for no other reason than she has learned the art of keeping out of the spot light — a priceless trait No people can be so appealingly tender and wistful as the French or none so insufferably rude This also applies without reservation to the Germans Few hobbles offer the pleasure of a sincere interest in fine paintings The pay of circuit riders in remote districts is an everlasting indictment of civilisation No form of athletics offers the grace of ice skating Women with the most clothes are seldom best dressed Tales of Real Dog S Duchess Is Waiter In Tiny Fish Shop j By Albert Pay son Terhune Phantom: The “Wild Dog” of Ohio MANSFIELD England A (UP) — Scores of persons who visited the fish shop of J W Burton1 during a 20 minute period here'recently were f served by a titled lady When the Duchess of 'Portland alighted from her limousine ofto i inMrs quire about the health! Burton she - remained inside and insisted on helping fill tomers’ orders The news of her visit receipts of ' the quickly and thenew record small shop set a Burton formerly worked on the duchess’ estate colliery and lost an arm In an accident His wife ' also suffered a serious illness and was sent to London for treatment at the expense of the duchess - rT'HIS is not a pleasant story to tell 1 for it does not reflect any credit at all I think on its human actors but It is needlessly tragic I am going to relate it because its lesson may perhaps save some harmless and playful stray dog from death I am going to tell it in the form and sequence in which it appeared in various Ohio newspapers at the time just as “wild men scarces” and “mad dog scares” are reported piecemeal in other communities Well to begin with: In the summer of 1930 a news report was printed in the Springfield Ohio “Sun” to the following effect: One Irene Coleman a maid in the employ of J S Heamue 1601 Wood-edg- e avenue in Springfield’s fashionable Ridegwood section was returning to her employer’s home on July 22 when suddenly a huge gray dog resembling a wolf barred her through his motor Engineers have Improved the engine to a great extent They have found ways to eliminate knocking and the excessive accumulation of carbon in the cylinders They have produced a gasoline of higher volvalue atility and And they have increased the power and life of the motor j But they have left it to the moto torist himself maintain an ecoChicken nomical standard in the operation of his car For it is the way the Windshield motorist drives that has a great deal to do with the engine’s fuel path CLOTHING TORN consumption CAMDEN N J (UP) —Can a She recognized the brute as one feather pierce a pane of chicken There’s the matter of high which had frightened dwellers in i some for exclusive rat glees? t neighborhood speed for instance — no but Scientists they’re11 say the When a car is going Its fastest time Before she could escape wrong it is taking the utmost from its great dog flung himself at her “and Jphii Krown was driving a truck the clothing from her engine and it is eating up gas and almost astore near the city asphalt plant -- A dog several as well oil when It does so body inflicting to chase a chicken The started At very high speeds the motor bites” chicken flew into the air and struck Her screams brought to the scene has to combat a high wind resistthe windshield It was uninjured ance This Is so great that engi- a policeman who emptied his heavy But when Krown examined the neers have figured out a car capa- calibre pistol at the murderous crea-ur- e d The newspaper account conglass he found a feather had ble of going 20 miles on a gallon of beast wolflike One Inch of windshield the the tinued a 30 at saying by miles an hour gas speed of the feather Is on the inside while will use up a gallon in only 14 escaped bearing at least three po ANttfflV' four inches stick out on the other miles when running at 60 miles ai ice bullets in its body and raced ” ‘ side oward a wooded section where it is Phantom had learned to run from a blue uniform hour He announced he would leave At the same time the hot motor believed to have its lair” the homicidal wild dog with Income Tax Justice feather where It was the makes such a demand on the oil This dramatic encounter brought effect on it aroun charmed life who lurked cool- to light the information that the the woods In crankcase the oil the that is author of “The Making of has been doing Broadway On Friday August 1 the following Ridgewood for the apparent purpose enue again Policemen Miller gnd had been “terrorizing resiing system has little time to main- wolf-do- g of assailing unguarded children and Poorman took the trail Phantom a A New York Judge declares only one Lady” (Doubleday-Dorastory was printed: Gyp tain the proper temperature The dents of the district for almost women wild has to never “The have escaped Is said week again dog robare result here also is a considerable to run for his life at out of every 100 breach of promise theatre ticket speculators One of the facts was that Phan had learned the the threatened molested a man but has police Thursday morning waste of lubricating oil a blue uniform For to of The rest bing the public more than ever sight suits is on the level feeble and was thin tom terror growing were associate blue The motorist who maintains high women or children on several occa- dog which has been creating him uniforms are for extortion Benny Fried- With the connivance of the producat in Ridgewood again sought refuge in from lack of food (It is not easy therefore should have no sions” time with this man works in a Wall street bond speeds pistol by pick But on this day heshots Olive Leaf complaint when he finds his motor (I read this much of the story in the woods after two loads of buck- least for a deserted stray dog to cans could not house Opie Read’s “I Remem- ers of course police shotguns up a livelihood from garbage aft- run far nor fast Famine had added paper shot from sawed-o- ff copy of the Springfield ber” is a book of absorbing recol- Branch is employed in the Forest is using up too much gas and oil is forever which had been sent to me by a cor- entered its body leaving behind It when the the pain and weakness from his lections (Richard Smith Inc) office In Butte Mont of bul to a when come er conSupervisor’s and him own who have barrage formed I my policemen spellbound bullet wounds to make him slow of respondent most economical Richard Bennett has a large ranch The driving speed conclusion that the animal lets is ever ready to sing around his motion Similie: As lacking in under it has been found It still having read such scare to the near Los Gatos California around 35 clusions before ears) IIE DROPS DEAD many hundred times has a charmed life sworn to The once fashionable Club Lido Is Bide Dudley Is doing a weekly standing as New York State Income miles an hour despite all the im- stories LONELY LITTLE DOG the statistics references by future “From all that free-fa chase’ of several blocks I After now a officials arranged tax charge Bernard Sobel provements engineers have put into o theatre talk over the radio was that he the two officers came within1 easy officers the mongrel be sent to me should fact Another the gleaned wolfdog all Broadway spot— Just “another Leonard Bergman A I Erlanger’s has motor the and the modern despite with Farrar and Rinenow has enough lead in its body to was not a huge wolflike creature range of the fugitive They opened g and I made such few better grades of gasoline we are place" Ten years ago withwasCharlie nephew and one of the most popu- hart signed own a battleship On one occasion with flaming eyes and on on of could sink a volume as for the I my gnashing fire on him at close quarters when history the lar men in the theatre has returned Journal’s Montmartre it nquries tod&y received Jaws but a pitiful little hound been a had after that had cornered him in an alley complaint a one account) saw is where “Show uses a car low At Boy” everybody sup to a managerial job on the Rialto burlesque place only speed the from Ridgewood two bullets were slunk about the neighborhood in they He wild dog motor horrible dropped dead riddled with bulthe of the that posed worth while Its passing shows tenth Kin Hubbard’s literary friends book by an power boy was more fired into its body” so owners there who A or later of may search lets enpossible day whither drift night clubs the available Therefore are selecting the favorite parahas summer The community was safe atf last CHILDREN WARNED wild dog which horrible news for the of have the away gone on to be has Abe will of which Martin operate inefficiently graphs and Because it seemed unkillable and and left him to starve (Copyright 1931 McNaught Syn- gine The monstrous evil dog would comthreatened women and children disa light load Almost every sinister crime In the syndicated Society is going to whole dicate a Is a terrorized Inc) such had the for untraceable which natural mit no more horrible depredations famishing It and uncatchable This is quite the opposite of the has been hatched in wrestling matches Jimmy Dupast few years 4 so nearly killed dog was nicknamed “Phantom” by and lonely little dog to trot up to on garbage cans nor would he tempt had Which and trict the when at situation B an club Its patronage today rante is Charles Italian the night high speed a harmless maidservant and which its pursuers Children were warned women and children trying to make women and children to take him consists almost solely of underworld Driscoll has signed to write a boy’s engine has to put forth consider- some to stay near home unless they were friends with them or even to romp home with them by trying feebly to people said was rabid riff-raably more energy than it ordinarily In Tuxedos And a sprink- pirate book Mathilde Eiker Social Life vain of the account told next This car with their elders Women dreaded with them It is also natural tha romp or to make friendsj were the to issue would have who wrote “My Own Far Towers” ling of columnists down to walk abroad undefended to track some of these humans should’ shrink I think Phantom’s story has been of the effort police streamlined high on against efficiently writes lying flat her stomach remonster To The of mad from him in fear and should mag worth telling to you because in its and the usual the brief In slay “reign silly air resistance on an elbow They Every once in a while I read where propped port said that the dog had “escaped terror” seems to have swept the re nify in their own minds the tale o chief essentials- it is the story of tom-tobeat in Beverly canyons some citizen has been rom countless other homeless little dogs police squads on glon and professionals and amateurs the encounter Y N BUFFALO (UP)— Erie There is quite a difference too several emergency sent to Jail for evading several thou- to advertise the Trader Horn picout fact several another occasions” and the Still which are trying pitifully to keep for by that brought in took turns gunning Harry Beaumont the county has a dedidedly popular pen- between motoring in level country jullets had lodged in its shaggy gray demon dog going sands In income tax reports Some- ture was Phanwin new homes a that from Whenever glimpse starving and toone and in hilly districts Hill climbing hide without having any perceptible of his Judges are constantly how I cannot help but think of A1 movie director was born in Abilene itentiary tom and all not bitten seen "the was them pohad Heaven coat the actually help gray And now has a Holly- being embarrassed by prisoners de- demands considerable extra power Kansas 1931 McNaught even torn nor her enjoying wood maidservant were sent Capone in his Miami Castle the for and lice (Copyright exeven is obtained sentences block and and less mileage named for him manding longer life and never paying a tithe of his clothes but the sight of him had chase was resumed Syndicate Inc) of changing gear or changing his George M Cohan will spend a year plaining that “J stole the ladder In with the throttle well down share — new had facts her certain Meanwhile even in frightened speed high is In car addition to Erie in Europe after the present theatri- order to be sent the heavy county If the As I said all these connections of maintain this speed as been brought to light about Phan De Wolf Hopper is penitentiary” or “Your Honor the that too cuts down the factor of Let him season A bill Introduced in the Missouri I have a friend who believes thor- cal the first the added tom facts and these original rumors came too late best he can and he will get the is obvious For fuel on it tour a I this could into the economy lecture chicken 'pen’ way year get of only was dreams the in He to do Pantom any good significance oughly legislature wouldas make motor not only in tinge of sanity to the proceedings car the less ef- most out of his that the lighter themove an ofserious re 7 was The other night he dreamed of The St Moritz has a concierge a laa was to break that window” On he too doomed by to day came obliterate stealing late i But August in oil but fuel and they consumption it and the eneral Mr Constantine The penitentiary is located at fort is needed to as av fense night about of by or terror the muddy waters His dream books Europe legend Woodedge the ported lurking general performance less fuel is used forecast dire things Next day he floorwalker at Saks was once Prince Wende 18 miles west of Buffalo is reason of Its for Russia One Backgampopularity not only got a big promotion but George was taken into the firm Yet he Is mon has played Ned with the bridge that when not working the inmates One of the most wasteful praccraze They expect television are free to visit about In the cell tices on the part of drivers is that still a little disappointed to click In seven years Fred blocks or rest in their grey-blof suddenly changing speed spurtreal name is Fred Sullivan cells The days are not entirely ing ahead with a great dash only to Recently I had another wedding Allen’s He was once a comedy Jug- play however for park benches be forced to apply the brakes quick If all wives were as anniversary Oscar Mouvet brother ballot boxes caskets and clothing and hard be would as mine there gler tolerant fewer divorces Come to think of of the dancer Maurice is running a for use in county institutions are The most economical form of Charles made here entirely by the inmates driving is done by maintaining a it I have not been such a terrible tiny bistrot in Paris husband that is as husbands go R Barnes a famous and beloved Complete Idleness is a penalty for steady speed The driver whether he is on the open road or In traffic Ohio newspaper columnist recently misbehavior And that isn't saying much The entire institution is kept can Judge what speed would move passed away at Santa Monica his car along without the necessity Short shavings: MIekev NiPlan Mrs H L Mencken Sarah Haardt) ‘jcrnnnlnuclv clean over-publicise- d power-produci- ng i1 j j j Feather Pierces ! !i I pene-rate- AJNTS-Ofl- ? d n) j hue-and-c- ry i no-couv- or ert dog-hunti- ng long-distan- ce get-tin- ex-cho- rus (Mac-Caule- y) ! i In Pen Violator Appeals ff long-honor- - ms ed V cross-questioni- ng shot-punctuat- all-arou- ed — nd ue Finest Performinq Six Hudson Ever Built n Have You et Ihe Lady Who Never Reads the Ads? v N GO INTO lier kitchen The shelves are filled with familiar brands of soup and soap and foods of all sorts Her electric iron x and have been advertised regularly So have her rugs and towels and table silver Somebody must have been reading “the ads” asking for known quality buying the goods giving them leadership Few women now are content to miss the marvelous comforts of the times Almost every one is planning to make next year 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