Show t 4 V If Is ’ 1 'I- THE OQDEK STAITDARD EXAMINER SUNDAY HOBNINU NOVEMBER 10 1929 p"" QUEEN’S HUNT’ HOLDS INTEREST Will haa Wall Street by the toil Share of Ribbons Won Byj Childen J of Am- I basasdor — By WILL ROGERS TELL all 1 know Is Just what read In thej Papers Awful lot here and there of news percolating This Stock Market thing has spoiled more appetites lately than jbad cooking Some fellow named Rogers Babson a month or two I ago predicted that lightning was ©sing to ' strike the margins and because it dident do it the day his warning come out why they' all fgive Rogers the laugh and said '"This ‘Country is too big and prosperous to have any let up in prices” iVell it looked like Roger hdd pullfd a bone and he had to stand f 'lot of kidding Rut as the ol ing "He who laughs along to the finish generally carries real merriment In his tones as things have turned out w ‘looks like the whole market Just tried to hejp Roger B lake a sucker put of his de if By HERBERT PLUMMER YT7ASIIINGTON somehow Ir-- ¥ win Laughlta America’s new ambassador to Spain has learned that to Madrid there is " held at stated intervals what la known as that Stock Market is tie to me I riever did mess One time in New York last j hen everybody was Just ra taoney with a shovel so' the told me well Eddie Cantor tp tor of Jewish contraction I known and been1 a friend of E for many years land I was hearing that Eddie was piling up a fortune that Rockefeller couldent ault hold out some dpugh iver So n 'Mrs Rogers out of the weekly tipend and I go over to the New sterdam Theatre one night and :all on Eddie FELT LIKE ItACKETEEI When I was admitted I felt like Racketeer that had finally gibed dmisslon to J P Morgan’s sanctum ' Eddie Ithpught 1 had tome persuade him to play a benefit for some improvedent Christians fas I had soften! done with him in the past) But when I Quietly to! him that I 'wanted whispered him to make be) a few dollars without telling Jokes for them (or what went for jokes) I told 'him about the amount that I had been table by judicious scheming to nick from Jieri he Mrs Rogers Knowing wouldent believe - that I had been so shrewd and Ibmedlately he said you dont need one Just keep this thing up and grab it off from her the "queen’s hunt” Now ‘ t What does it batter whether! you -- 4 ‘ make it from 'Wall Street or her?” But I told hlin T wanted to get of Wall Street In on this skinning Everybody was I doing it arid I Wanted to be in at the killing F dident have anything particular against Wall Street but knowing the geographical and physical attributes of the Street I knew! that It was crooked (You can stand at the head of itj and you can only see to the bend It Just wont let ybu see all of “it at once as (short as it Is) I just Said to myielf I would like to be with the bunch that has the credit of strati ig this Alley out Well Eddie had- - Just th ade fifty thousand accor closing odds on the last co: I says show memethe fifty H that he explained to the money that thats wha culd have made if he had! sold BUt he hadent told as tomorrow I Eddie wouldn’t take the money heJshould make at least another when you want you me fifty or even if he only made 149 a check for it why it would help pay for burnt Well just thbk of that! Here cork Then he explabed the stock was to break Wall Street on to ms a market in mighty sensible creditgoingWell I shook hands and way he told me who had told him told him that I had always known this but anyhow it had "repeated and said that he was the greatest well so I will repeat it to you Comedian on the stage but now T Th 5 Stock market is just like a knew that he was the best finan sieve (one of those pans with holes cier we had to our profession Wei: to it Everything nd everybody I went back to my own dressing is put into it and it y and room Theatre and I never through the holes go all the small was as funny to my life as I was stuff Then they load it up again that night I had Wall Street by and tnaby hold it still for awhile the tail and a down hill run v and then they Start 'shaking again up the next night til: little investors go theI stayed and through come out to see what papers They pick themselves up turn our bank had closed at after readbootl gger or do something to get rest of the some more ’money and then they ing' it stayed upif the Eddie pos wondering night crawl back in the hopper and away sibly be wrong Well one could little drop go they i agab brought on another till one day PRETTY SCENARIO received a letter from Eddies BrokWeil that made a mighty pretty er saying that my check would Scenario But- - I said thats only come to mighty handy and for me undernamed the Boobs that go through the hole to please remit' Ionam going to grab a root and hang amount with the big boys He dident Well to the meantime I had used much! want to take my money most of the money celebrating the knowing how hard I had worked for fact1 that I had bought the stock it bojth from the Theatre Mana- In fact I had really spent most of ger arid Mrs Rogers But on I went it to advertising Eddie and his hutelling him I was 49 years and had manitarian qualities' Each night I never in my life made a single dol- begin to get unfunnier and unfun-nito chew some lar without having This strata of being "In the gum jto get" it' ' So he says "Well Market” was telling on me Eddie I will buir you some of my bank could laugh at a loss and still restock! -- Its selling mighty high and main Komical But when there was with this little dab you got here minus sign before my lone stock wont you get much of it but jits just was not unctious I dident bound to go up for banks make it Iwant to tell Eddie But finally I whether the market goes ups or sent for his personal Aide De Camp down Even if it stands still they told him that on the morrow are getting their bterest while8 its and when the market opened among making up its mind what to do” those desiring to dispose Ijwould So he said get you some! of be among those present I got out this You dont need to pay me for with a very moderate loss Next it just let it go Put it away and day It went up big But the whole forget about it Then some day thing is no place for a weak heart- can-sen- d 1 at-m- n N ’ er -- This I Information Interests him greatly If there is such a thing he hopes to take part 'And he will! take part provided It Is not too difficult L- - For the new envoy to the' court of King Alphonso is an enthusiastic Mrs Laughlta dislikes horseman for him to participate to hunts She says the danger is too great but if both are convinced the risk is theytoo much" he will be among the not riders!' There Is nothing Laughlta likes more than to be in the saddle of a good Jumper His favorite mount Gray Dawn will be taken to Madrid by the new ambassador Gray Dawn and his master have won numerous ribbons to horse shows ground Washington i FOR CHILDREN- - TOO There are threS horses to the Laughlta stables at 'Washington In addition to the ambassador’s mount there is one for each of his two children — a son and daughter They too are accomplished riders and have won their share of ribbons Laughlta expects to buy some horses- when he reaches his post The famed Spanish Arabians appeal to him as "the finest horses to the world” and he hopes that he will be able to procure one or-tfor his stables I Although he has spent some 26 years as a diplomat serving to practically every important post abroad as well as to Japan Laughlta Is re luctant to' discuss his career From 1312 to 1917 he was secretary of the American embassy at London and was charge d’affaires from' December 1912 to June 1913 He W2S to that important post during the war days but the only thing he will say about hi3 experiences is: "Those days were terrible Many times ‘I wished that I were to the - wo trenches” He will tike his whole family to Madrid with him "We travel like a menagerie” he said laughingly "One of the reasons Heft Greece (he was American minister there two years of the Coolidge administration) was that I had to be away from my chil-- dren" : AIRS HOOVER FIRST ’ or Consciously unconsciously President Hoover has upset anoth- er precedent since he has been an occupant of the White House Long has it been the custom for I M ) BRITON LORDS HIGHWAYS ’ - ' i WITH: HIS TAX-FRE-E BIKE TWO SUBSTITUTES for gasoline By IiU iii NEA Service FAME OF CHEMIST SPRANG FROM AWE CINCINNATI— (AP) — Incidents which inspire youth to scientific success often are revealed only years afterwards Such an incident now comes to ight to the career of Professor H Shipley head of the department of chemistry University of Cincinnati In student days he was filled with admiration akin to awe by the abil- ty of his old chemistry professor to expound ‘the intricate formulae of benzene a cyclic structure of six carbon atoms each united to a hydrogen atom ' He has owned up that perhaps he tinkle of delicate test tubes and the singing of boiling liquid helped stir his imagination At any rate le formed the ambition of developing a new benezene formula:-Yearago he conceived the first electronic formula which afforded theoretical explanation of benzene’s chemical constitution i and p roperies It was so radical that American scientific editors once refused to publish it humble benzene But prosaic spread into all torts of dally application becoming the most extensively used Of the 200000 known carbon compounds’ The young scientist’s formula served more and more to make clear formerly unexplained reactions Now at last comes the reward cf the dream for' several books on chemistry by British authorities have paid Fry the tribute of listing his formula first f ’ lbstl- WASHINGTON— TWO to be used as a motor fuel are being studied— one to Switzerland and one Bureau of Mines to by the U with the University -of Colorado j The Swiss fuel Is called "gaso-genand is manufactured from s a - i t 2S 3— B -- PFILh R( ) GERS SAYS-- r - e” wood charcoal This- - is chiefly used lor operation of trucks It is said to show an economy of 70 per cent to operation The latter fuel is gasoline made from shale 'oiL Refined shale oil gasoline under tests developed more than four per1 cent electrical horsepower than - the j ordinary gasoline i s the president the first lady The story is told around Washington that Mrs Harding on her first day at the White House was politely rebuked when she entered an elevator before he husband if "And the capital knows and remembers the short steps Mr1! Coolidge would take tup the gahgplank of the now extinct presidential yacht Mayflower With1 Mrs " Coolidge in back of him f Now all 13 jehanged The president permits Mrs Hoover to ga first on almost jail occasions whether it is at the baseball park of entering the White e ! -- Mi j I -- Y ' Y j i if House automobiles However on strictly formal appearances they enter and leave the room together j "Dewey George 'Admiral 1601 NW Metropolitan p716 The Washington telephone directory still carries The name and phone number of the hero of Manila bay Admiral Dewey Idled to 1917 but either for business or personal reasons the family chooses to keep a telephone listed to the admiral’s name u V v '' f V" 4' 1 GET LIQUOR IF ILC SO THEY! STAY SICK fa: HONOLULU — (AP) —If the line that forms each Saturday at the t government liquor dispensary is a correct barometer Norfolk island British possession has an "ail mg” ’ population For to get a bottle of liquor one must be ill One need not imagine any special type of ailment So long as the adult applicant hgs not had an Issue for two weeks he Jhay apply for a certificate that "for purposes of general health' and under the provisions of the liquor prohibition law ox 1913 he Is entitled to a bottle It is the Island’s novel way of handling the prohibition question Efforts are made to avoid excess Drunkenness ’seldom occurs but when it does the- - culprit quickly sobers under the suggestion by thi administration that stopping his Issue for a month or two might help Minors are barred and beer Is served to persons under 30 years of age Each person Is expected to drink his or her own liquor Islanders have long given to get a second bottle through any pretext whatever v -1 i ? COAST OPENS NEW MAINLAND ROUTE SAN FRANCISCO — (AP) — By constructing approximately seven miles of paving 100 feet wide San Francisco has broken thej "bottleneck” which restricted traffic by v rv j f m f A y 6ve jr in Eriglahd the whole family oes bicycling father takes the'children for an airing ona ta'ndenf bike Below) the youngsters jog along in a sidecar-whil- e the parents furnish land in and out of-- the city Parts of the highway were laid the motive power on fllled-i- n ocean -- shore j ' ground and other sections were cut through tall hills The “bottleneck”! was occasioned by cemeteries which covered a considerable area of the narrow peninsula Pedestrian under-pass- es and ot sidewalks on each side charJ " ‘ ‘ acterize! the highway as one of the most modern to the west It makes SOUTHS1A England— (UP) — a new route: to the mainland There is a man living — S— here who" officially has never been born He is further worried by J WHAT A LAW! H A motorist at Newcastle Eng? doubt as to whether his real name Is land was recently fined $10 fo$ James Mfeacf or that of his twin failing to notify license authorities brother John of having changed the color of his A sick benefit society to which car James belongs recently asked to see -- On inquiry at his of the' place birt i James discov ered that although his twin broth' er’s name was ‘registered' he was his" 53 HE IS NtiT YET! BORN AT 12-fo- - te -- - j non-existe- nt' j James has now revealed that the christening of tile twins the boys were so alike that lone wore a red band round the arm and the other blue When they were disrobed the Three deaths an hour Motor vehicles accounted gowns became mixed and although for the mother pointed to him and de- three deaths every hour during clared that he was James he is still July according to the American doubtful if she really knew which Road Builders association The was Which month’s toll was more than 2230 up-tryin- old i birth-certifica- i f ed Comedian and from now on when Eddie wants to help me he can just give me some of his old jokes: (Copyright 1929 by the McNaught j Syndicate Inc) Nf EIGHT TWIN-IGNmO- N to Priced fros $1625 b factory I TWIN-IGNITIO- Paced 2260 v SIX f( noi J1295 To S169S I o b factory SINGLE SIX Paced noU J913 It b to $1073 Factory ’ J j All- - ' ‘advanced features as tlie I opportunity to own an Oakland American Six is here! Come in note and let engine' the patented rubber “biscuit” engine ns tell you about it At no time in the history of - mountings and the Harmonic Balancer' medium-price- d r sixes have car owners ever been i Distinctive1 ifi offered a buy like this - ' Beauty— The Oakland All- - ith fne Finest Bodies- ever built motor car any JUL - 223-cubic-x- L-he- nch ad ‘ ( 4 1 -- i 0 0 - E COACH CRAFT of t! o 193° Nash 400” shows the world i how a motor car body should be built In the new arched 11 In uperstructuredeslgn Nash boaydesigners have replaced the usual upper tody Build with grace and slenderness They have developed new me hods of bracing and strengthening which make these 1930 Nash 400" bodies more rigid and Jess likely to develop disturbing rattles than any body ever put on any motor car The new pooiywindow and Windshield opening devices operate with 09 e Is entirely insulated from tf Inches wider Twin cowl ver tilators furnish the most efficient type of ventilation A New ge deration jof motor cars has arrived! I Ji Twenty-thir- d f E 0 Street at Kiesel Ave - My Deign — Longer Wheelbase — New Hood length aed Depth— New Narrow ? Radiator with Aetomatk Shatter— More Powerful Motor— Hollow Crankptit Oanluhaft— SetLEnergls Srakes— Refined Fvellzatioo lag —Fuel Peed Pamp— CentrOlIxed Chawl lubrication — New Doable Action lov!or Hydro He Shock Absorber — Adjustable Driver's Soot— Ste! Spring Coven with Sealed-i- n Lifetime Lubrication— Weld’s Eelest Steer Ing— Starter Control on Instraaient Panel — Insulated Rim f Cable-Actwate- ‘ 5 - : -- d mm 4 " I1 1 long-live- AND THESE ADDITIONAL THE ElOHTi StralghMHght Twtn-lgnifl- Plag Vaive-ln-Hea- H!gh-Comprest- on IN 16 Spark oa Motor— Hollow Crank-pi- n Integrally Crankshaft— Alumlnvm Connectlng Rods— Steering Shack Blmlnatar— All windows doors windshields Plate Glass f r Dyplate Counter-weighte- d ws f J 1 ’’L Ay DIE 2568?Washington Ave c iPhone 331 t ' V i I - J ) ' ) t r !£XRJ ktw Non-Shatter- co i l tiAivJ PEATURES d ’ h ? ” r i -- tullt-l- n I r wa® scomPar®d medium-price- d " New j j with 20 other 0f the season’s most popular Duco shades cars m one of the most exhaus- tiveanalyses'of value ever made In all 878 com- - Act Today J Ypn can buy right if you come in pari sons were made of which 451 or 5137 pert today and investigate America s finest medium cent showed Oakland to be definitely I priced automobile 1— — The 20 cam combined Were at best superior to equal t $is7sfb rontue iriCwn 382 or 4350 per cent And 13 of oiUna Oakland on 1 nn cars were mgher-pnce-u driiMiy Lrhvin Spring mmti miut Lov)oy Shock Abaorberm plui inclndixi tne M t Oakland £mpci mnd rnr fsmUr gumrtU Mtr "than i ' t onmral Motor price ' Timp Fmymont FUn moailoblo mt minimum rato s r — “ the : AdvancedC- - in ‘Design— The" Oakland "All- - Consider the list ffoJh) prk vrtins drlinmVprle d American 5ix is dependable and (mpirin atomowi Ttiim OtkUBdPimtiM dirmd pom offer outstanding ferfomiance because of uch mj Can o - IT I j— L-&- Tr IA G Phone 830 cy poorer CEVEnL MOTOES |