Show spirit of the times applying the principle A thrace brace of legs thrust considerable too far through a pair of mottled pants and attached toa to 9 couple of the largest sized feet which were encased in twin cowhide broa brigans brogans br ans formed the underpinning to a long I 1 slait slab sided boly body of otherwise othe generous proportions the whole being mounted by a head which was covered with a grey five year old at least sealskin seal skin akin cap this sum total legs pants feet shoes body and chapeau was the property by possession of mr ZENAS ZEN AShad Shad been on a bat during the night nig ht previous and had squandered full half a dollar 0 on in white eve and sweetening but his big returning cretu aning senses made him feel philosophical and anthe morning mornine wo we speak of him he stood at an early jearly hour in in street gazi gazing mechanically at tho telegraph wires salilo soliloquizing qu ier I 1 thus wise wise tt fc ie the tele gruff W io well I 1 dont poor seive euthin per er lie ie calier bout them strings 1 ony only ones bigger en I 1 ic p th the e light lightning nin lin big aun an 11 9 said an urchin in t the ii e doorway near by when U do does es she lic ic start pa bowd oud better ax in 99 what wharf in the office up 59 the loafer was shown to the door of the building and by hook book or crook found his hig way up three flights flig lits of A stairs li rs into the telegraph office the attendants inquired what the gentleman had bad to forward farind Fo rInd lie ie chos she what will you yon send frend send whar 7 I 1 this is the telegraph office sir air I 1 I 1 11 11 I 1 I 1 1 I LZ well lie ie whon thunder said it 1 I supposed you had busin business esq 11 nubbin euthin Nu Nut thin bin ol 01 t the he sort lic ic quite the re 40 ic verse 0 the contrad coat rahy ly I 1 what will you hare hav 1 I want to make some lic ic qu quines iries 11 the hour being early and little doing the clerks verv very charitably determined upon some fun with thea ellow with ith a view to sober him the opportunity for any thing gratuitous escaped them ho however vever tor for as they commenced a consultation upon the best means to benefit tho intruder he be stepped up to one of the batteries which happened f fortunately to be but lightly charged and concluding that the knobs were portable he be pulled his cap over ovar his forehead and attempted to remove one of the balls tho the next nest moment zenas lay stretched upon the floor I 1 lie ile arose as best bes t ho he could and turning to the clerk with I 1 49 look yere mister ie ic yure name I 1 kin lick as many sich like skunks as you vou as could be dhruv into a forty aaker lot wot in did yer ic knock aai an inner sent man down that wity way fur eh nobody touched you said the clerk the they ic c 1 no sir you took took the M took wot yeres yure copper and proceeding to dash a loose penny toward the attendant which lay upon the machine his fingers came in cont contact act with the battery and away he went again heels over head across the floor I 1 ag look yere continued the sufferer who by this time was well nigh sobered od lod blast yer infernal wot in thunder are you bout you kuhut handle the tools 77 observed the clerk nearly bursting with laughter look you mr avots your name aint to be fooled this yer way for no bothin thiril I 1 arnt by thunder im a inder pendent I 1 am and this yere people down without notice of no kind arnt the things thing by et ef you 11 ll open that yere door ill go out ol 01 0 this 1 an and no questions axed asad c the door sir that brass handle 1 yes pm im of ef you you do though this child dont meddle with no more hardware in this trap no bow T the he door was opened bythe by the clerk and the fellow sidled out A suppressed laugh pervaded the countenance counte nanca of the attend attendant lut as zenas departed which as the door closed vented itself in a broad haw haw baw youre a smart young gentle gentleman mati you are bawled the loaf loafer or through the key hole as he held the door fast with both hands bands youre a very smart young may may be like to git out ol 01 0 that and jo go to yur yar breakfast may bet be an if yer do git any grub afore noon jes jerf lot lat a feller bout my size know i it will hlll ver yer ill teach te a eh yer to knock people down simultaneously for anochin 1 1 will and from the preparations pa rations making on the the prospect was that the insiders were to be be made prisoners A thought struck the attendant he disconnected the wire and placing 11 it in contact with the knob of the door upon the inside his companion let on the battery the door flew open instantaneously and our valiant stranger with the seal sealskin skin cap wat wab dis covered in the act of an anti angular I 1 descent down stairs the side of his head scraping the paint from the edge of the steps and his legs mean time tim 0 performing f arming i an involuntary pirouette which v would for d have done infinite justice to a french dancing mister I 1 it so chanced that zenas had purchased a bunch of lucifer matches the night before which had been deposited in his coat pocket bocket in his brwn ebs down the matches hod had become 11 ignited IT ii ted and by the time he had reached the first eight he had partially recovered from his aa first r S effects of the shock but the fluid tingled d th through r gh his veins his coat tails were on fire and he was not set forward in his imagination any by this last effort of his or mentors he dik discovered the fire and presuming it was part and parcel arcel of the cussed invention he sprang to his feet and with both hands briskly at work behind him for the purpose of smothering the flame which was roasting 11 the seat of his he put for the street door at full gallop fire fire help yere owl ow murd fire help shouted the victim as he darted into the street away he dashed towards baltimore at it a speed which fhe line itself might have been proud of luckily a square off he discovered a servant with a hose attached to one of the hydrants busily engaged in washing off the pavement he rushed to the spot and and tur turning n i short before him 3 poste posteriori Hori he begged bilat him at the top of his voice for gods sako sake to put him out outa perhaps his sable friends eye aye glisten and may be his ivory shine as aa he charitably turned the current of that stream upon the unmentionable mentionable portion of the poor devils nether ments the fire was extinguished without serious damage as the papers say the loafer was thoroughly saturated and having in i exchanged 11 his heavy inside wet for a skin j drenching he departed perfectly sober amidst the jeers of the crowd who had witnessed the finale most vociferously cursing all improvement pro in magnetism and combustibles |