Show domestic Does ficks ks oa popular preachers eachers Fr things have chan changed chanced ced Zed before my hair turned grey with age uga and piety clergymen used to ake hike nike their texts from irom the bible and preach peace and good will to meu men women and little girls one oat old minister whose sunday sermon chastised my saturdays s agle azle appie apple stealing take a gunpowder text an and un under er aromatic schnapps inspiration preach a bo howitzer and G sermon having a submarine battery peroration with a large invoice of revolvers and bowie bowle knives thrown in by way ol 01 rhetorical graces he ife used to lo think it was his duty to keep ile ils his hig lie people from war and strife and teach leach belligerent humans not to pull off their coats coals for a free fight every time tims anybody tread on their corns but bat nowadays now a days a pastor must make sermons to draw big house hoube and we llave have star sermon as we have star actors and star ing log dogs at tife museum our city churches are built by joint stock co congregation ogre atio alto in order to speculate by selling the pews so the tile minister must till fill the tha house and run up the price of stock in the tabernacle taberna cle clr or else he is not a good investment for those careful christians who want to save eava their souls sous and turn an honest penny at the s tine ime ti it ne tie discourses on the tiie ordinary duties of man to his neighbor and aud his maker blaker dont draw 1 and hence we have sermons on the amiability of the devil satan considered as a gentleman hell neil fire chemically anal analyzed zed and liow how flow to make fireproof garments for expiring sl sinners allers ailers and various other subjects interesting to tiie tile community gen crilly er illy tily these are ara all advertised ia in big letters in the tha morning papers that the minister may be popular the house be filled the pews sell and the speculation turnout turn out well I 1 recently attended lite tiie performance of the tiie rev who is renowned for his prolonged shrieks for freedom disunion free rancap itar iSar isam isac It runaway Dat darkies kies sharpes Sh arpea rifles Bowie Bowle knives Bulli dogg dogs and a big muss generally ile he preaches sermons and it is said that lie he carries his pocket full of fremont ballots and maa mal makes males es his people take a vote oa on tile tiie presidential question every sunday to see that it they e Y are all sound on the tho goose alis it is also asserted eliat at ha he his ilia leisure hours firing at the iron mail man in tha shooting gallery and in throwing a toma civik at a mark occasionally varying tte tle delightful occupations by taking boxing lesson sand learning iu how to gouge missouri taking long drinks of A schnapps between times organist executed a grand kansas battle piece in f five harps sharps with vocal imitations of tile tho shrieks odthe of the settlers and ind the curses odthe of the che border ruffians then the minister came up through a trapdoor trap door like the H arlequin harlequin in the pantomime when the devil has got an ail invitation for liim him he prayed braved a long prayer in lita liss overcoat that ha lie took off his overcoat and read a hymn very quick metre with a very strong chorus then theu lle lie sat sal down on hia hla ove ovo coat and read his letters tle tie organist made preparations to gyrate in rolled up tip his coat sleeves so as not pot to interfere with his ills fingers then be up his pantaloons panta eo so as 8 not to lehia toes toas then he unbuttoned his bis cravat and loosened his vest at this instant a very muscular man disappeared from tile the ranks iu in the gallery vanished through a cubby hole and was instantly lost in the anatomy of the tha organ then there was a great rattling in the bowels thereof as if it digest tile the muscular mun man but bad ad a great deal of wind on ou its stomach K then tile ilia ginging commenced the opera folks stood up to earn their money they sang eang as if this tin musical scale had been greased oil on this occasion and they were climbing for a pi pig on the top of it they would go up a nose nota or two and thea then slip clip back each one ono went one notch higher than the one before liim jilin but fell back before beloro lie reached the tilo prize prie and his ilia voice subsided subsided into a discordant growl low down dov n in ILI his rib at last after fiva five trul leach one of which ended in an attenuated ak one female with a mouth like liko a hatchway loosen loosened td ier her ter boll boil bonnet net bt rings strings made a desperate scream and went so high that she finally got a firm hold of the oleaginous reward of merit ard and bore it off altin in triumph then they all stopped slopped here the mini minister ter read a number of gratis advertisements ti for tor cove concerts erts and 25 cent picnics pic pie ules then there was another single handed funded cori corl combat beit bait between the organist and his old enemy and sonne some more mora greased pig vocalization by the tha thousand thou sand saud dollar choir after which the tho star preacher began to perform in earned he read a text and st stuck uck to lle the lie subject for fifteen minute minutes giving his bearers hearers fits about their shortcomings when the plate plato is passed then lie gave a glowing description of the tile joys of Pd paradise radise and by his eloquent words had got us so for far into tiie tile spirit lind land that we could almost hear bear tho tile departed spirits blow their nobes when suddenly he cut short his high flown piety pitty and began to talk politics and general news lie spoke of the tiie state of the stock markets gave a notice of the new patent ballot box a review review of the encouraging prospects of fremont the tw value of sharps rules rifles and the retail betau price of schiedam sch Seh schnapps then he gave with great gusto a delightful account of some imaginary pleasant transactions in kansas wherein a couple of men were roasted alive in a burning log cabin cubin while their wives were compelled by the amiable border ruffians to superintend the tha cookery then lie he made mado some very good jokes at the people laughed then be he baid bald something about tha the union which they applauded app opp lauded I 1 should have supposed myself in a mass ratification meeting if the men all had their hats off and there been so many women soon lie put in a word about and black republicans 1 I thought then I 1 was in a political meeting sure i and expected expected every minute to hear no as os boys loys come comedown ow n with three times three and a adiger for dorbuck buck buch and breck then lie he took look a two minutes rest and made a prayer containing a summary odthe of the political aws for the week then lie he put on oil his overcoat and dign disappeared feared through tle tie the tr trap p door the ahe organist played the people out with willi a grand march in which a trumpet solo soo was very conspicuous and added a few dancing tunes tones by way of keeping keening the tile sunday school child children reil rell quiet |