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Show m ! 6 FEATURE FORUMFORTNIGHTLY.COM Love Continued from Page 1 and elation. howOver the long-terever, love is also associated tionship. The communication factor with feelings such as calm, resonates as a theme of success content and security, she between various relationships. said. Imagine the feeling You have to communicate that one has the moment they everything to the person youre finally arrive home and hug with, said Branson Roskelley, their partner after a long and stressful day. a married student who attends Hicks said that emotions Utah State University. Little things crop up when and drives for relationships you live with someone, too, may change their forms, but he said. Sharing a bathroom, they dont grow into a differof junior nursing majors who heck, even how you cook and ent entity entirely; they grow relaeat! There are always going stronger. She said that true atare all in to be those little things, but traction is sustained by social tionships. Forker, Maier and Conger it doesnt matter what sort of goals (hanging out, getting to know the person), as well as agreed that communication relationship youre in. Communicate. As things get more sexual interest. plays an important role when Hicks said that, over time, interacserious, add more topics: firegular these motivations begin to tion is not possible. nances, goals, etc. You have to be realistic Communication seems to lose their frantic energy in be the byword of healthy refavor of a more sustainable about how much youre golong-ter- m interest. lationships, and it occurs being to talk to each other, said Forker. You cant blow them cause both partners care about Thus, over time, love shifts off. When you have a Skype one another. But what does from feeling like electricity that energizes you, to feeldate, that has to be a date. that term, care, mean, exactYou also need to have a high ly? Is it a sexual drive or an ing more like a warm blanket amount of trust in the other emotional one? Are care and shielding you from the cold, communication motivated by she said. person. Hicks point brings up an The group also agreed that, social desires? while not easy to manage, the Discussions with Westinteresting question: why do distance allows them to betminster Colleges sociology people seek out other people? ter focus on schoolwork, and and psychology faculty reveal Supposedly the search for that that its a little bit of everyserves to help them better apspecial someone is to procreate preciate the time they do get thing. Humans are complex and pass on genes to the next creatures who are motivated generation. However, this is to spend with their significant others. by emotions, sex drives and a a far cry from the concept of When you finally do get to need for social interaction. All loving someone for who they of these things factor heavily are, not just their sexual capasee each other, every moment counts, said Maier. Its not into relationships. They form bilities. How does all of this the foundation of why we love play out in the mind? easy to manage, but the longdistance thing makes you apwho we love. In an email interview, Love in the Brain & preciate the other person a lot more. psychology professor Angela the Body Its totally worth it, added Hicks stated that love is asConger. Id rather have my sociated with positive, healthy According to YourAmaz-ingBrain.coI such as emotions can but here, boyfriend happiness get minds the effort to make it work or it doesnt. It cant be one-wa- y. Fernandez said that relationships require work, but the advantages are undeniable. You get to know someone in a way you never would otherwise, and thats an incredible experience, he said. He added that the key lies in both individuals matching the effort put into fixing issues as they arise. Amy Forker, Erica Maier and Emily Conger are a group stuff done and focus on my own life as well as the rela- m, long-distan- ce face-to-fa- ce m, peoples Branson and Kyra Roskelley resolve interpersonal differences, resulting in a stronger relationship. are enticed into falling in love from almost the very beginning of life. It takes between 90 seconds and four minutes to decide whether one person is attracted to another, and most of this is through reading body language. The rest falls into liking the other persons tone and speed of voice, rather than whatever the person might be talking about. A study conducted by New York psychiatrist Arther Arun shows that the concept of falling in love is far simpler than most people would think. Arun created an experiment in which he paired complete strangers with one another. He then asked them to each spend a half hour telling the other person intimate details about their lives, and for both people to stare deeply into the others eyes. Most of the couples felt deeply attracted to each other during and after the experiment. Two of the couples later got married. Clearly, the mind holds great power over emotions. But the desire to find a special someone expands beyond a chemical cocktail. Research compiled by DiscoveryHealth. com reveals that another primary motivation of being human is to expand the self and add new experiences to the mental-emotion- al repertoire. One of the best ways to attain those experiences is through meeting and spending time with different kinds of people. The desire to be a person who is good at interacting with others plays into this as well. This is especially true when we discover that people are attracted to us. We see a tremendous opportunity to expand ourselves into the lives of others and vice-vers- a. The fact that others are attracted to us is the manifestation of this opportunity, which is why we feel such a surge of triumph. However, the inverse holds true as well. If a person has low |