| OCR Text |
Show a THE WEEKLY REFLEX. KAYSVltLE, UTAH .. 6 I WHY THE GUEST DECLINED. If You Cant Find Hubby Insisted That He Have Some Sherry, But He Refused. Wgnt --In Jewelry, !v. u, as it was his birthday. Smith was lfcW Will ubmdraw! allowed to take a friend home to dinand Wricea from the ameU , ner, but his wife gave him strict orpin up to the most aUborateo ders that he muBt not offer his guest Inum piece. We get des.gna from Parta twice a month. , sherry, as they had none in the hqjise. 'As usual. Smith forgot all about the Injunction. Wogft you have a glass of sherry, old min? he said as the meal proST ceeded. The guest turned red and AMS QTX UTAft stammered that he never drnk it said Smith. 1 "What rubbish! know that Is not true. Do try It! The guest looked quite disturbed. Pride goeth' before a fall, and it 1 would much rather doesnt soften the bumps any at "No, no! that turned ahd pot! he paid Imploringly, redder than ever. When the evening was .finished and the' guest bad gone, Mrs. Smith said to her husband: "Why on earth did you press the sherry, when I kept kicking you under the table, too, to remind you that there wasn't any? Smith looked at her. It wasnt me you kicked, my dear! he said. What You HENRY" HOWLAND Riddle Age oil. father, what la nge'' little filch-ar- m I d 1 I 5 asked Hoe; 5 il I've asked at least a dozen men, but no one seems to know. I've een It printed many times, but never have I met pereon a ho ac-- , he knoaledged nr ahe had reached It yet I'll tell you what It my eon. Hk hard'a la. young Orlg rvaL Definition. pa replied. la the age at whit h a man of YlfTy Turns aside To give his frit nda to understand that he Is Just 1 'It For half an hour past the teacher lia d . been -- busy sow lag --the- ns keeh And gladly boylso us lie was whor. he was sivbn ' . teen It also the la stj-flv- at whit a man of h that he expects that he will pttsenllv Hrrive the man ol eighty thinks he at hod hut yesterday n at vt,hleh a woman throws her The powdir puff nwity FIRST WARSHIP AT THE NEW COLON DOCKS Hke t The Genius and thePporStlck, rnTwas a man who had two One of them was a gonlus. AH Bon.a. the neighbors said he was The other was totally different, lie never got Into any kind of trouble. He would sometimes work In the garden. He was known to refrain from doing foolish things because he knew his parents would not wish hint to do'them. and lie grew up without getting either of Ms legs broken or even losing a He attracted very fuijter or uu little attention, and nobody laughed t ordinary things that were said by him. 1 id the boy who was not a genius become the president of a bank or the bead of a railway system? We are compelled to admit that he did not. Hut It tan be truthfully said that he is decently supporting a good-slie- XZ family and occasionally baft for his brother. furnishing 3C3C ZJSZ a V f v To the battleship Minnesota belongs the distinction of being the first warship to tie up at the new 'government docks at Colon The photograph show b the coaling of the M lnnesota at the dock preparatory to her sailing from the canal zone with 600 marine for duty in Mexican waters. IN MEMORY OF THE MAINES WALKING AROUND THE WORLD DEAD No Trouble at Alt. Mary, did you break this cup? Yes, maam." Oh( Mary, how could you! a alsy enough, ma'am. Wan little knock against the edge of the Sink done it." e minded WoUt! to learn barbtc uen opportunities 1 lurm-b- hir-ellt-- e (or you. Tools and i paid while learinui;. Only eight aeeks or partu-uUand t lor fall write required Id 0 ornmeroial btreet. bait Lake f liy t tab How Did She Guess It? He waa an Ardent lover, an Irish rey it. A Tip. i The Diner. Guess Ill order of that Iamb stew. I Bee the proprietor eating it, so it must be good.""'1" The Waiter Keep away from it Hes a tightwad and eats only what he cant sell. Chicago News. An Open Question. Do you take this woman for bet-te- r or ?!Lasked the preacher. "That will depend in whether her father is going to loosen up or not, absent trade, lover, and a practically penniless lover. It was St Patrick's eve and in his hand he bore a pot of real Irish shamrock. They were raised on the ould sod, he said, as he presented the pot to Biddy, "raised on the ould sod of Ireland. "Sure, now Murphy. cried his lady in delight, how sweet of e. How perfect they are and how fresu. For the Heathen. Sure, ! do belieV e that theres a little He was rich, a millionaire-in-fact- T dew on em yet He was also a church member. But Begorra. Murphy flushed slightly. he did not approve of foreign misI know there Is, relucantly confesssions. One Sunday at church, when be the collection was being taken up for ed Murphy, "but praise heaven itll tomorrow. these missions, the collector ap paid proached the millionaire and held out Safety Pocket the collection bag. The millionaire A Brockton man was seen standing shook his head. at a corner, serene as usual after I never give to missions. he whis lunch. But a friend approaching nopered. on one side coat "Then take something out of the ticed that the flap down was pinned by a regupocket bag, sir, whispered the collector. blanket-sizelar pin. safety "The money Is for the heathen. "Whats the matter? 'Fraid of pickpockets? was asked. Fathers Advice. "Not much. I got it locked up so "I told father I loved you more than I cant get in myself. Kept putting any girl I've ever met. things in it all the morning. The "And what did your father say? has a hole In it big enough pocket He said to try and meet some more for a monkey wrench to drop gills. through. An Easy Job. Uncultured. "What are you doing now, Bill? "I have found, out one thing about Im collecting. that Mrs. Newcome. Whoever she Is. Collecting what? has never moved in good soshe -- I"My thoughts. ciety. Gosh! you always were lucky In "How do yoiTknowlhat? striking an easy Job." Boston Tran"She shakes hands ss if she meant script It-w- replied the UEV AND d Not Disposed to Take a Chance. 1 havent seen you out with the beautiful young widow lately." "No. I proposed to her one evening when we were watching the moon cast a silvery path across the water, and she wanted me to put my offer in writing. -- Im afraid she has her mind too firmly seton business. for-wors- "'V" Its been the dteam of fhe old mans life to see Washinton, said the Billvllle matron, an now hes with ngoin thar, an Ijm him. 'I wont be u known thar, he sayB, fer Ive been a member of six Georgia legislatures, an any one of 'em could beat congress of the place whar Satan lives at an' a doin of nuthin! But what we want to see most is the place whar they make the mopey, an find out how come an why we dont git our share of lb Atlanta Constitution. ;v'rv 'i' WANTED - A Goergla Invasion. a c$y- y e'TTnSFP1' 4Vv w . r.,-.- .. Stormy Weather fpr Pa, Why, ma. where are you going In such a hurry? To your pas office, replied Mrs. 1 AHrocks. Just tried calling him up bv telephone, and heard him tell the office boy to say he was too busy to talk to me. Ill show him what I let him have a telephone In his office for. - D iy. fl f of-u- s e 1reipnds The e seeds-o- Makes your whole meal taste good knowledge, and realized that the time had come at last for her to reap Life Is a game in which nnghty the harvest cash in our hopes. Now, boys, she asked, "who can few tell me what an oyster is? For a while silence filled the classA POSITIVE and PER. room. On all sides little brows were MANENT CURE FOR puckered in strained effort at rememLiquor and brance, DrugAddictions Thena look ot knowledge began to Ladies (rested as Tkare k a pUiiitr, a nckaca. shine In little Tommys- eyes.'Eager-lprmteb as w tknr swl keaes. THE KEELEY he raised his hand, and W. Seatk Ttssnie Street. Self Lske Cite I know, he cried. "'"It's a fish built No Room for Criticism. Weve no grounds for accusing for etgners of loving -- empty - honors long as a man over here remains willing to run for the senate on a Bull Moose ticket Washington Post bride groom This Genuine SIZING HIM UP. "Its my opin- said her father, that your friend, young is a false alarm." ion," Nev-erdro- l "Hes M n than llea a less fuse ' worse that. pa. powder Resented Caress. . Not Necessary- - to Look. Why didnt ou quit trjlng to live on charity and look for work? Gee, ma'am, I don t need to look for work . It's staring me In de face, wherever I go. Englewood English. Him and ou are good ' friends, ain't you? s "Not any mote. We was till got to circulating lies about he and T being engaged." c. busy-bodie- The Flight of Time. How time flies. James Garfield Yes, doesn't it! Smith has a son who is old enough to share and Grover Cleveland Mlg-gle- is V bald-headed- ." Piano n Jennie kissed me when we met. 'jumping from the spot she sat In; Jennie's kiss was cold and wet. it It the hand I held my hat In J repulsed Imr pushed her back. If you like, you may put that In. roltvl- - fnjr tack-"- "" Jenme did--nOf enthusiasm Twist me On the whet I It it was folly I Jolly I exldblted WMl defy ou to, tn gpllv' Jennie was an eager loille Jennie kissed meo .1 $375.00 Empress Joseph Frank Mlkutec,an Austrian from Croatia, since October, J901, has been over the world. Now he lretty girls strewing flowers on the waters of the Potomac river while Is In walking where he walked Washington, the memorial service for the dead heroes of the U. $. S. Maine waa being held New York to get the autograph from at Fort Myer, Virginia, near the Arlington national cemetery- ,- Left to Tight: 6f President Wilson. On January 16, Misses Florence Stonebraker and May Borland, Ensign Frank Sigourney, he completed his first circuit of 1911, Misses Knowlton Pritchard and Belva Laughlin. the globe and started -- on a second tour. He has walked through 48 of the United States, through all Euro-peaSENATOR ROOTS NOBEL PEACE MEDAL countries. South Africa, South America and Asia. On hla return to hla home he will receive 250,000 crowna from an Austrian newspaper. s Famous Revolutionary Soldier. One hundred years ago William Heath, a distinguished soldier of the Revolution, died In Roxbury, Mass , In which place he was born In 1737. General Heath waa a student of military science and In 1770 he commanded the Ancient and Honorable Artjllery of Boston. At the battle of Lexington he was the only general officer on the field. On the organization of the Continental army he waa commissioned brigadier general and a year later was made major general. He was ordered disaster - Obverse and reverse sides of the Nobel peace medal which has Just been to New York and after-threceived by Senator Elihu Root of New York. He was awarded the prize for at WJilte Plains commanded the deHe had Ms work In connection with the movement for international peace. Besides fenses of the Highlands. . charge of Burgoyne and his army at the gold medal the prize tarried with it a cash bonus of $40,000. Cambridge, Mass., where they were held as prisoner of war for nearly a of Chicago in 1900 for work In the de- year. In 1779, after Arnold's treason. Womans High Position. Dr. Catherine B. Davis, just appoint- partment of political economy. This General Heath commanded the posts ed by Mayor MItchel of New York is thought to be the most responsible of the Hudson river at West Paint, as correction commissioner at a sal- position ever given to a woman. La ad- and several times he was in tempurxry e command of ihq entire American ary of $7,600 a year, received her ministrative work in this country of the field of education. doctor's degree from the University army. e" ojt-hid- Only $267.50 It Throe Years to Pay andfor th secure for EMPRESS PIANO CLUB Jna Genuine Empress piano sold how forming, d world over for 1X76.00. of these famous pianos will bs sold on this club plan. This means Club plan that flv hundred people buy--Iat prsctle&ily one and the same time, set'aire concessions In price and tarms not possible under ordinary condition It is ths of numbers; of buying power, each member securing the samestrength piano, at the same price, on the same terms of payment f zX 00 the- - Five-hundre- ng Write Today for Catalog and Information Let us send you our beautiful descriptive and full Infor- mation about thia Club plan. Lxi not. by any catalog means, any piano until you have had this information You should know buy all about this wonderful Club plan; learn how easy It i now for any home to have a famous, genuine Empress piano. Free Bench Freight Prepaid the nar where you live, we Free Scarf to your railroad prepay station, and include with the piapo a genuine freight mahogany, oak or wal-- n ut bench with music compartment, to match the piano, also a beautiful silk or velour scarf. ABSOLUTELY FREE. No Waiting . ,ou do not haTe to before Piano Delivered at Once wait until the entire membership of five receiving your pinna IT 13 DELIVERED TO ATOXCa' Tou wn to be sure that the house with in every way. VjUr refer oc toresponsibe the National Bank oftbe R.mihii. ,''e Lak C,t.TBd Vour to thouslocal Also bank. and o who dealt with this th ear past hun-YO- U guarantee house-durin- fifty-fou- iy Mil |
