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( WW-- ma-- M i Ft I (a1J H I Ptf wwsieM i i aWHrwl ii m wa i tt fcl SWA Hi CN.MUM' - l' HH4 I,g U fifwtnw 4ftA io w W mmifi ft . tl nmm . r rw aM-MN4 4 r ) Re. vtni)i4 JL I " ' ft Q M r wa !M fWMnUWf a,jia, wmwwf swans wwh tftft a- - MI ' . w fWWN M w.WDi kat f. aW lilt ftft I I .. ft K i S4 mril I ( la ft.a4 M f S (. ni cwmwiP in .- - v Rift f'9 A. 43 ft" ft--" w t tH ImhII 9 ft NT NEWS 1.30U1 EYESAT (7) HORSE SHOW JUMP-MI Lova Naw Yodi Grand Prut (trow Laka Placid NY)(R) 91 1:34 SERGEANT BRJCO O (U ABC NEWS Owffppt. Oiircled by Fkitcher. Screenplay by Stanley Mann, Starring Arnold SdhwMntgftr. CoftJR Tt RiChJtd Rriineifon, Directed by Ocb Out Screenplay by Phl AkJcft Robenton and Sylvester Stallone, Starring Dolly Ration and Stallone Two utterly negligible films, current fy playing our summer saecns, seem upto anticipate ?0lh Century f os coming release of Revenge of the Nerds. Anyone ever lerrorued by mus cle bound jocks in high school can now take mild pleasure in witnessing Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone make total fools of them selves and their physiques in the total ly foolish Conan The Destroyer and Rhinestone. The second adventure of the barbarian. Conan, has more to do with bizarre bodily proportions than anything else, such as plot, character and action, The film stars the inflated musculature of Arnold Schwarzenegger, who projects about as much personality as a side of beef; the impressively compact musculature of Grace Jones, who steals what little show there is to steal; the dizzying heights of Wilt the stilt Chamberlain, who sports a child's Halloween fright wig; and the nubile shapeliness of Olivia D'Abo, p S c) rvcwr-i'-.i- 171 tlupify of CofMft with iKpJ ipnh M pie historic Valley Cl peluUnce Cheesy production values beie fh budt but epc produce D Uu ntis kinship to the ignoble lne S t cheap Italian eptotaton licks con tinuany washing up 0ft Our shores. Rhmesfone harbors the seed of a niffy screwball comedy in a premise thal fortes country star Dotty Parton to transform New York cabby Sty Stallone into a country singer m just two weeks m order fo escape an unjust contract with an unctuous boss. For the occa Sion, Parton has penned fifteen dandy tunes that are all but smothered under the raging stupidity of the script. Bob Porkys the pig" Clark's dunking direction and Stallone's leaden comic touch and milk curdling vocals. Like the life of the office Christmas party on a dollar joyride, Stallone indulges all his worst instincts and fantasies. He spots a stulled peacock and mutters I love you on the sports an anatomical and (gasp!) sings. In the greatest acting challenge of her career, poor Dolly must chuckle warmly at these antics like the proud owner of a trained chimpanzee. This is an indigestible spaghetti western and here's double proof that brain and brawn can be mutually multi-millio- exclusive. |